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I was born very far from where I'm supposed to be and so I'm on my way home.
--Bob Dylan
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This is Weird...
Ok, so I'm home....
I'm
sorry
I haven't updated since South Africa. It's not that I didn't take the
time to write blog entries cause they're actually all on my computer, I
just never got around to being online enough to update.
To everyone who wanted to connect with me while I was away or semi live vicariously through my experiences, I apologize.
However,
I
felt compelled to write now because while I still haven't grasped the
magnitude of what this experience will mean for my future... I have
grasped something. I constantly feel lost because I often have no roots
to indentify with. My family isn't big on talking about the distant
past-ancestry
and all, and that's something that's always bothered me. It's not like
it's one side either, it's both. So while I am a huge proponent for
living in the present something feels incomplete because I know so
little about where I come from.
Traveling
to
so many places with such strong oral traditions and ancestral ties has
made me realize even more how much I crave that connection to the past.
Casually
two
summers ago when I went to my grandmother's (my dad's mom who died
before I was born) house for the first time I : 1) saw a picture of her
for the first time ever 2) found out I had an uncle who died in
Vietnam. All my dad said was that he died when was 19. The Vietnam war
(or American War as the Vietnamese call it) was I believe a really dark
(understatement of the century) period in American history, but it
never directly affected me. While my interest grew after I found out
about my dead uncle, this trip has really heightened my passion and my
interest.
I know this:
MARSHALL JESSIE
PFC - E3 - Army - Selective Service
1st Cav Division (AMBL)
19 year old
Single, Negro,Male
Born on Feb 12, 1947
From
NEW YORK, NEW YORK
His tour of duty began on Dec 10, 1965
Casualty was on Feb 28, 1966
SOUTH VIETNAM
HOSTILE, GROUND CASUALTY
GUN, SMALL ARMS FIRE
Body was recovered
Religion
PROTESTANT
Panel 05E - - Line 86
He
was
barely there 2 months... I don't believe in war even though I
understand its place in society and its inevitability because of human
nature... I just, I feel strange because I've felt so abstractly
connected to someone who I never have and never will meet. I think it
has something to do with seeing or imagining a youthful charm and
innocence in a person in my family when I haven't really experienced
that with anyone else in my family, you know? I've always been the baby
that everyone expects so much from... it's hard.
I
don't
really know where I'm going with this, I just know that this trip has
given me more to desire from life, it's hard to articulate and I
probably am doing a horrible job... but I feel the need to be more and
see more and do more because life is so fleeting.
People
who
have so little can live each day with such grace and elegance and
passion and I'm jealous of that. We've seen so much of it and I'm
jealous.
I'm
not
done digesting this trip yet, I'll probably be digesting it
forever...but introspection doesn't scare me. I'm up for the challenge
I
have an insane amount of love for everyone who made this trip happen
for me and everyone who enhanced my experience who completely, ya'll
know who you are
Thank you
Life
is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a
pretty well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly
used up, totally worn out and loudly proclaiming ... WOW! What a
ride!�--Anonymous
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Posted: 7:34 PM, 5/8/2006 in Unspecified |
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Welcome back!
| What a ride is right! I love to read your blog because your passion for life comes right through. Now you are into your ancestry! What a sad tragic story of that innocent young man. Putting a name and story with the tragedy brings such a special kind of sadness; knowing that there are countless other families with stories like that does too. |
Posted by Fightingfemale at 7:26 AM, 5/9/2006 |
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