10/11/2006 - Prom 06. I'm on the right.

12/4/2005 - Monopoly

I have officially decided that no body on the entire earth has ACTUALLY won a game of monopoly. Why? Because after about an hour and a half of the game, everyone quits because they're losing. I am convinced that this game was invented by the government to scare people away from money and banking all together. I mean, the object of the game is to own as much property as possible and get all the money. In the process of achieving this goal, you will slowly become a nervous wreck and develop some kind of twitch before the game ends. By the time your Monopoly endevours reach the 30 minute mark, the game has already turned you into a blood-thirsty money minded moron. You will find yourself sinking to the level of telling your nine-year-old sister that the point of the game is to sell all of your houses to the person to your left/right. This game must be abolished before it is too late.

6/23/2005 - The "What???" Girls

I hate them all. They are the girls that every town and city has. The ones who dress like total skanks, and they wonder why guys, or people in general, stare at them. They strategically pick that brown and red plaid mini skirt, white and black layered tank top, knee high boots with thigh length stalkings just to attract attention. But when they get that attention, they act innocent, like they're all surprised and hurt that people would stare at them when they're "just trying to shop." The only way to stop these girls from their evil scheme is to pretend not to notice them, but how can you do that when they walk by you 50 times because you didn't notice them the first 49 times?

6/23/2005 - The "Bimbo Mob"

I don't know about most of the population, but when I go to a baseball game during the summer, I go to see the game. Some people may think otherwise, but I don't think sporting events are put on solely for the purpose of flaunting your latest outfit (or lack there of). So far this summer, I have not gone to a game without noticing the usual mob of squawking bimbos who sit next to the home dug out, practically BEGGING to be noticed. I have a hard time conceiving the mentality of these skanks and their choice in runway locations. It seems to me though, that there is always a designated hoe-bag leader followed by three or more flying monkey-skanks. Also, they cannot seem to sit in one place for more than five minutes. I've noticed that when it seems to them that they aren't getting enough attention, the leader will get up to "go to the restroom" or "consession stand" and will be followed by the freak-parade in strutting in front of the poor, defenseless parents, friends, and grandparents of the team members, who are innocently trying to support their sons, friends, and grand-sons. I have given up on trying to comprehend what, if anything, goes through the minds of these girls, but I guess there is, unfortunately, nothing anyone can do about it except pray, or purposely go blind...

5/17/2005 - The "Borrowers"

Borrowers in fairy tales are tiny people who live in the walls of houses, coming out at night to 'borrow' useful items from residents. But the ''Borrowers" I refer to are people who 'borrow' humor and inside jokes from friends, movies, comedians, or TV. Their claim to fame and funniness comes DIRECTLY from one of these sources. They are known for giving absolutely no reference to the actual person who gave them their most recent joke, story, or impression. An example of a "Borrower" can be someone who reads this and relays it as their own idea.

4/21/2005 - Anonymous Glare-ers

Anonymous Glare-ers are people (usually girls) who glare at you for no reason or explanation upon passing by. Usually, they travel in groups, but often pass by solo. The typical Anonymous Glare-er will begin their attack by first examining your outfit up and down with a disdainful sneer, then will make eye contact then.. glare at you and attempt to stare you down. They are Anonymous because most of the time they are someone you have nver seen before in your life. Their hatred for you often derives from envy-whether it be your outfit, your hair, your looks, or your adorable significant other.

4/5/2005 - Stupid Boys

There are men, there are guys, there are boys, and then there are stupid boys. We all thought they were the same, but were we wrong. Men are the males of our species who have been lucky enough to fully mature to our level (almost). They can keep a long term relationship going and can manage to make a woman happy. Guys know (somewhat) how to treat a woman, but are sometimes known for cheating, lying, and telling their friends things they do not need to know about you. Boys are able to have a relationship...based on physical attraction. They can date for as long as three whole weeks!!! Stupid boys are the males of our species that surprise you with their survival on the planet thus far. Stupid boys can't even function, let alone keep a relationship. Stupid boys are known for cheating, lying, stealing, making bets, saying stupid things, treating women like toys, asking you if other women turn you on, asking if you would participate in a threesome, telling their friends that you are a lesbian to explain the reason you dumped them, breaking up with you if you refuse to sleep with them, telling their friends that you slept with them regardless of whether you actually did, and dating your best friend right after you beak up. That will bring me to the subject of stupid friends, but that's another story.

4/5/2005 - The Attack Of The PDA People!!!

Every single day in my highschool, I find myself surrounded by underclassmen who are either making out or groping eachother... most of the time both... It seems as if they encroach upon you as you sit innocently in the commons trying to ingest a meal without having to start all over after accidentally witnessing one of their tongue wrestling matches. It is not an appetising sight to involuntarily glance over just in time to see Hickey Master pull his hand out of the back of Princess Thong's jeans. There is no excaping the scarring sights of PDA. Everywhere you go to hide, you find that two more Puberty-Ridden-Horemone-Slinging Makeout Monkies miraculously picked the same place. It's enough to drive a person crazy I tell you. There is no barring these Filthy McNasties from producing their identical spawn in the halls of our schools. If I was in charge, I would lock them all in steel cages until puberty ends.

4/5/2005 - Barnacles!!

This entry has nothing to do with Spongebob, I'm afraid to say. The barnacles I speak of do not come from the ocean. Barnacles are everywhere. They're by your locker, they're in your gym class, they sit by you at lunch. They. Breathe. Your. Air. But what are they? I'm sure you have one. They're that one person you can't seem to brush off. You try and try to be subtle as you make your excuses, but somehow they're ALWAYS THERE. Breathing on you. Watching your every move. STUDYING you, probably taking notes, trying to BE you. The the thing that ticks you off the most is they never do anything mean, or anything worth being mean to THEM for. You can't get rid of them, they stick to you like BARNACLES!!! Not even the world's biggest ice scraper could rid you of the monstrousity that is your barnacle. There's no nice way to say it-they are annoying, in the way, they drag you down. No amount of strategy can free you of the torture. Any hiding place is child's play to these talented parasites. I mean no derogation with my description of these innocent socially deprived young people, mind you. I only mean to inform the lucky few that have not yet been victimized by the barnacles that live in every crevace-run while you still can! You have been warned, barnacles are a thing to be taken seriously. It's not too late!

4/5/2005 - Heathers

I may be the only one who thinks this, but I have come to face the harsh reality that all the Heathers in the world are evil. Heathers are like milk, they can only stay good for so long, then they get chunky. JUST KIDDING. I am fully willing to accept that there are maybe... I don't know... seven... nice Heathers on the earth, but I won't be able to confirm this until I meet one. I have had two Heathers as best friends in my life. The first one was in middle school. I remember it well~ We were 14-years-old and totally oblivious to the cruelness of growing up.We were two totally opposite people- I had black hair, she had white-blonde hair, I was thin, she was scrawny. We spent that school year sitting next to eachother in art class every morning joking and laughing. Life was sweet... until -- DUN DUN DUN!!! Highschool attacked! Yes, attacked. It hit us like an automatic door to the face at the local WalMart after closing time. Dear Heather and I grew apart. I became what most called Girly, and she became what she liked to call 'Punk' (everyone else called it nasty). She grew fond of purposly messing up her newly (and badly) died brown hair with palmade, wearing socks with the end cut off on her wrists (with a thumb hole cut on the sides), various types of fishnet stalkings underneath purposely toarn jeans, and combat boots. She came up to me one day sophomore year and told me that she didn't want to hang out with me anymore because her new friends thought I was 'too preppy.' Because of the utter heartbreak (or lack-there-of), I quickly found myself a new best friend to better fill her shoes. Her name was............................. Heather. She too was a blonde ( I should have taken that as a sign to RUN!), tall, and again, very different from myself. Even so, we still had a lot of things in common otherwise. We both had a nack for sarcastic humor, had our own ideas about things, enjoyed doing impressions of various people in our weight training class, and we had some mutual friends. About a month of being friends, we became very best friends. Soon I found myself hating the people she hated, talking about the people she talked about, shutting out the people she shut out-I became pretty much brain washed. Heather and I spent the ENTIRE summer together. We had so much fun, I'll admit that even after all the bad that happened after the summer, I would never give summer up. We hung out at baseball games, hung out with my boyfriend (now ex), hung out with my boyfriend AT baseball games, and I even tried to hook her up with my now boyfriend. We spent the night at eachother's houses, went to the mall, the waterslide park, and we even went camping together. It was the summer of my life. I've never had a better one. But then highschool attacked yet again. She started hanging out with this other girl we knew at the beginning of our junior year. We will call her Hayleigh. Hayleigh was much like my old friend Heather. She was borderline punk, and very nice at first. I soon began to notice a change in Heather, she began talking about how 'hot' shes was, and how sorry she felt for Hayleigh saying (and I quote) "I feel bad for Hayleigh, she's just not as pretty as us." And she would also say things like "Gosh, I just can not have an off day! I look this good all the time!" I then decided that there was something wrong with this girl. Soon they began to shut ME out. I would come up to them sometimes and I would notice a certain silence between them that suggested that I was the recent topic of discussion. It made me sick because I knew I would do anything for this girl. She was my best friend, but she hated me. Eventually, the shutting out, awkward silence, and occasional abandonment, I snapped. I told that Barbie wannabe what for. I told her exactly everything that I thought of HER. A week or so went by when a friend of mine told me that there was writing on the wall about me in Heather's handwriting saying that I was a 'skanky hoe.' It actually made me laugh, but any chance to get back at them without getting in trouble I took it. I filed harrassment on her (them actually- they act together for lack of their own free will). After the first harrassment report, Heather was stupid enough to come up to me and call me a stalker. She said that I followed Hayleigh around the mall (as if I had nothing better to do than follow the bane of the earth ANYWHERE). When I told her that I was at the mall to show my boyfriend a prom dress and that I didn't see ANYONE I knew at the mall, let alone Hayleigh, she said "Whatever! Your a stalker you faggot." Yes, faggot was and is her favorite word. I don't know why but it is. Anyhow, I took the opportunity and filed harrassment again. One more and they'd be ousted from all school activities for a week. I soon got over their feeble attempts to break my spirit. It never worked so I stopped noticing. ***To this day they still do stupid little things, but I choose to feel sorry for them because after highschool, I will never have to look at them again, but they'll always be stuck with themselves. They only have eachother, I've never noticed them with any other friends but eachother. Oh well, I decided. Good for them, I hope they're happy. I hope with this information, you will think twice before trusting a Heather. And if you ARE a Heather (or any teenage girl), I hope you will seriously look at how you treat other people. If you look and you see nothing but good, then keep it up. If not, DON'T BE A HEATHER! It's not too late!

*The name Heather in this blog is the name of actual "Heathers" who I have had as friends in my life. The name was also used as a metaphor represent all the teenage girls guilty of acting like my Heathers. It is not necessarily true that literally all people named Heather are evil. I hope nobody was offended.

3/14/2005 - Poem by Me: I Hate You

You said that it wasn't me, it was you.

You told me that I shouldn't blame myself,

But how could I not, after what happened?

It all went from heaven to the worst kind of hell.

When I picked up the phone.

You keep saying you want us to stay friends

But in that, you are alone.

I don't want to hear what you have to say.

No, I don't want to still go to prom,

And no I'm not going to be okay.

Don't tell me that you understand

Because we both know that you don't.

I don't want to hear you say

We'll bet back together, because we won't.

I don't want us to stay close.

I want you to go away.

Don't tell me that you know,

Why I'm acting this way.

If you care about what I have to say

And you really want to know the truth,

The reason I'm acting this way

Is because I hate you.

I hate you for making me cry,

I hate you for telling these lies.

I hate you for the way you hurt me,

I hate you for being able to just leave.

I hate you for trying to be kind,

I hate you for wasting my time.

I hate you for everything that you do.

I hate you for not giving me a reason to hate you.

Aunaleis Beshara (c) 2005

3/14/2005 - The High School Food Chain

Every school has it's levels of heirarchy. I didn't make up the levels, I've just come to peace with the fact that they exist and have observed the system. Your basic high school food chain consists of five levels. At level one, you have the jocks, cheerleaders, and the rest of the "beautiful people." You are either inducted into level one by birth right (being beautiful), you fight your way in (by becoming a jock or cheerleader, etc.), dating a level one member (though level one members rarely date outside of levels 1 or 2 and even level 3 in certain circumstances), or by being inducted by a person on level one. On level two, you have the friends of the people on level one -not quite beautiful or popular enough to BE on level one, but you are ALMOST famous by association. Level three consists of three groups of people: the siblings of level one people who are not beautiful enough to be ON level one, the friends of the people in level two, and the people that the people of level one and two don't hate. Level four includes the people who aren't quite social outcasts, but aren't quite social enough to be on a higher level. These include your goths, punks, and smart-but-not-geekey people. Level five is also referred to as 'the nerd herd.' Sad but true. Nerd Herd members include: freaks, under-the-stairs-people, excessive PDA people, scab-peelers, people with excessive lisps, nose-pickers, and anyone who was condemned to level 5 by a member of levels 1, 2, or 3.

Note: this entry is meant to be funny, nobody is meant to take offense to anything in this entry. If anyone is offended by this, let me advise them to carefully remove any object that may be shoved too far up their ass. Thank You.

3/14/2005 - Crazy Bitches

I swear Heather and *Hayleigh are getting progressively crazier. They think they have some kind of claim over like 5 guys that we know. I talk to most of the guys they like because they are my friends and whenever I'm walking with any of them and I pass Heather or Hayleigh, they GLARE at me like they think they have some sort of power over me. Just today, I was going to computer class when I ran into Reno. He walked with me to my locker and when Heather saw him walking me to class, she looked at me like....satan possessed her or something!!! It's getting rediculous. Reno is in our algebra class. He sits in front of me and Heather and Hayleigh sit on either side of him. He doesn't talk to them because everybody tells him they are chronic stalkers. He usually turns around and talks to either me, Marianna, or Anthony. Anytime he turns around to ask me for help, the crazy bitches turn around and STARE at me with evil looks on their faces. As if helping a guy in algebra even falls into the bracket of FLIRTING. Sometimes, I think those girls are obsessed-actually-ALL THE TIME. They are obsessed with themselves and attention. Anytime the spotlight isn't on them, they feel the need to destroy everything around them destracting the attention from them. I'm not sure if there is a name for their disease, so I'll just stick to calling them Crazy Bitches.

3/10/2005 - What's Wrong With Me?

3/9/2005 - Stuttering Stanley

I may be the most cynical asshole in the universe, but I have a very low patience level when it comes to talking to small children. I think I have some kind of strange disorder where I need people to just.. SPIT IT OUT!! when they are talking. Anyone who has talked with a small child knows how a lot of them have a stutter. It's not even really a stutter as much as a broken record type issue. You know what I mean- like when they tell you a long story about... I don't know-what their puppy did or something. Here's an example of what I'm trying to say. Imagine this:

5-year-old: I got a um a new puppy and you want to know what?

You: What?

5-year-old: He um... he when we got him he um he jumped up when we got him (you are getting impatient) he jumped up on the couch and my mom um (the child is beginning to spray it rather than say it) when he jumped up on the couch  my mom (at this point your eye is twitching) um she um my mom um (at this point you are holding back the urge to deck the child) smacked him and he said 'awf awf' and it um it (SPIT IT OUT KID!!) it was funny when he did that.

You: Oh... yeah.. ha ha. Funny.. (meanwhile you are thinking: Sure... Bloody F$%# funny .... yeah shut up)

Yes I may be the worst person in the world when it comes to my lack of patience. But I can't STAND it when children can't just SPIT IT OUT! I almost want to say it FOR them. Tell me if anyone knows how I feel!!!

3/9/2005 - You're Ruining My Life!!

This is a famous phrase among kids my age. Whether it be their mom, dad, siblings, teacher, bestfriend, enemy, or their boy/girlfriend-whatever or whoever they speak of is evidently causing their existance to become a miserable waste hole. How? I have no clue. Imagine life without those alleged Life Ruiners.. Yeah, that's what I thought-without these people there to cause every teen's life to suck, they would BE a miserable waste hole. It's a vicious cycle, I know. Your mom may very well be ruining your life, but without her, you would have no life to be ruined. The phrase "You can't life with them, but you can't live without them" has never before in any instance been more perfectly employed. It's amusing to me-I LOVE it.

3/8/2005 - ***The FHA

What is the FHA??? Well, it is an imaginary organization between my sister and me. FHA stands for the Former Hotties of America. We made it up one day while watching and Antonio Banderas movie. We began to discuss how unfair it is that most of Hollywood's hotties are WAY too old for us to marry (as if it would be any more realistic if they were younger). Inductees to the FHA include Johnny Depp, Paul Newman, Antonio Banderas, Matt Le Blanc, Keith Urban (he's presently in pending.. he's not quite old enough yet), James Dean, ELVIS! (yummy!), Tim McGraw, George Straight, Harison Ford (ugly now, but back in the day.. yum!), William Shatner (same as Harison Ford), and others. Tell me if you think of any more inductees!!!

3/8/2005 - The End Is Near

My high school career is almost over!!! I say that enthusiastically now, but come semester time next year, I'll say it in tears. I'm graduating a semester early in a feeble attempt to end my unemployment streak. I don't know how I'll function without being surrounded by my friends all the time. After school is over, my friend's won't be easily accessible in the hallway of a huge building. After school is over, I won't see my friends everyday like I'm so used to. They will be going off to college and working, I don't like that idea!!! Growing up is something I wanted to do so bad until it came close enough to hit me in the face. Now that it's here finally, I don't know if I'm ready for it. With the end of my school career, not only comesthe end of the drama, mean teachers, homework, reports, tests, and sleep deprivation, but also the end of some of my friendships, my social life, the memories, and worst of all, my childhood. With school, I have always been able to hold on to my childhood a little longer, but it's almost gone. All the years of birthday parties, sleep overs, hook-ups, break-ups, notes, field trips, and friendships are almost gone. Life will go on, but the life I knew is about to be gone forever. The new life I'm about to have scares the hell out of me. I just know that I'll end up never getting married because I'm so used to being in one huge building full of guys for the picking. Once it's gone, finding a guy will become a search. Friends will be harder to stay in contact with. The days when "Hey, see you tomorrow" used to be realistic will soon be shortened. The tomorrows are running out, and after that everyone is gone. When we toss up our hats at graduation, it'll be like tossing up everything we had-like our hats, our lives will be out of our hands just up in the air where we can't control them.

3/8/2005 - How Hard Can It Be?

Exactly. This question is notorious for getting many a babysitter in some deep shit. You may think that taking care of a few elementary school age kids and a baby would be a piece of cake. Right? I mean, the kids can do their own thing.. you know-play video games, draw pictures, watch tv... and you can take care of the baby. Cake! NOT!!! Try this scenario: Three kids-9, 8, and 4, and a baby. You turn on the tv and go upstairs to take care of O-Tiny-One. The next thing you know: BANG!!! SLIDE-THUMP! *silence* .... then....WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!  What the F$%@?  You put baby in a carseat on the floor and run downstairs to find out what the hell just happened. You come to find the 4-year-old on the floor against the wall WAILING as the 8- and 9-year-old stand a few feet away wide-eyed and drop-jawed looking on in shock. What were they doing?? You figure things out when you see the couch cushions lining the floor at the end of a makeshift sea-saw catipult made from a matress lying on top of an overturned rocking-chair. "WHAT HAPPENED?!" is all you can manage. The reply is almost in-audible, but you catch something along the lines of "we decided to trick our 4-year-old sister into letting us LAUNCH her against the wall..." Just when you are preparing for sentencing, you hear baby crying.You carry the bleeding child up to the kitchen and give her a cold cloth to put in her mouth just in time for the door bell to ring. You check on the baby before going to the door to find Mom and Dad on the porch because they left their tickets. Peachy! You go through the whole "WHAT HAPPENED?!!" game once again when mom finds Lil' Lucky Lindy(1) on the kitchen floor with a once-white kitchen cloth. You try to explain what happened but you are cut off by "WHAT DID YOU DO???!!!!" You look to see who Mom is talking to and you see Little Orville and Wilbur Wright(2) standing at the top of the stairs looking like shamed puppies with invisible tails between their legs. You sigh with relief thinking Oh, good! She was expecting something like this. She knows her kids are evil!

(1): Lucky Lindy-Charles Lindenburgh flew first solo flight 33 1/2 hours across the across the Atlantic from New York to Paris.

http://www.mtpulaskiil.com/mtpulaskiilWEBsite/Main_Page/Local News/Lindberg/SJ-R_COM - Meeting Lucky Lindy.htm

(2): Orville and Wilbur Wright-brothers who flew the first manned plane. They built a propeller driven airplane that stayed in the air for 12 seconds. http://www.gardenofpraise.com/ibdwrigh.htm

3/8/2005 - Unemployed

I have recently come to peace with the harsh reality that I will never get a job. Yes, the truth hurts, but I can't seem to shake it. I apply and apply, I go in and talk to people, but it just never works for me. Maybe there is a sign on my forehead that only I can't see that says "Crack Addict" or something-I don't know. I guess I'm just going to have to start my own business... I could sell ...  ... ... ... sticky notes or something. Until then, I guess I'll be 18 and jobless, carless, and poor.