3/8/2005 - The End Is Near

My high school career is almost over!!! I say that enthusiastically now, but come semester time next year, I'll say it in tears. I'm graduating a semester early in a feeble attempt to end my unemployment streak. I don't know how I'll function without being surrounded by my friends all the time. After school is over, my friend's won't be easily accessible in the hallway of a huge building. After school is over, I won't see my friends everyday like I'm so used to. They will be going off to college and working, I don't like that idea!!! Growing up is something I wanted to do so bad until it came close enough to hit me in the face. Now that it's here finally, I don't know if I'm ready for it. With the end of my school career, not only comesthe end of the drama, mean teachers, homework, reports, tests, and sleep deprivation, but also the end of some of my friendships, my social life, the memories, and worst of all, my childhood. With school, I have always been able to hold on to my childhood a little longer, but it's almost gone. All the years of birthday parties, sleep overs, hook-ups, break-ups, notes, field trips, and friendships are almost gone. Life will go on, but the life I knew is about to be gone forever. The new life I'm about to have scares the hell out of me. I just know that I'll end up never getting married because I'm so used to being in one huge building full of guys for the picking. Once it's gone, finding a guy will become a search. Friends will be harder to stay in contact with. The days when "Hey, see you tomorrow" used to be realistic will soon be shortened. The tomorrows are running out, and after that everyone is gone. When we toss up our hats at graduation, it'll be like tossing up everything we had-like our hats, our lives will be out of our hands just up in the air where we can't control them.