21/9/2005 - sand in my shoes

right.....another milestone hurdle is approaching......yes,time flies....as i bent not to linger on the ending of prelims today.....the realization is that i got lots of refining to do....like sand in my shoes....sigh....nothing has changed...none the better really.....as i capered out of the exam hall today.....i left with unattended despiration.....i know this season's nigh i crucially have to attend to my academic aspect.....but really.....what is irking me is my social life....how did i delve into such deep-lows of self-confidence and interaction skills?.....i think its my way of life and thinking that nullifies others into submission...i was going to put myself as beyond redemption....but i wont give up hope.....as i know my true friends havent given up hope on me...i wont let you all down as i strife down another milestone of life....why not a fresh new start totally....forget the fact i could not finish my a maths again today....forget the fact i did my bio in 10 minutes out of an hour today.....forget the fragile confidence and the procrastination...i have to morph into somebody more reliable...more consistent....more friendly.....more socialble.....more disciplined....sigh......sorry to bore you all with my sorrows but i am feeling very down today.....irresistable is the will of the flesh,depleting the charm of the soul....and thus quelch false hopes of a levitation to the crop but a stark realization to prevent the don of the mop...haha....whatever....as the pendulum careens dangerously down the parabolica.....i know i can count on my tyres for the maranello bend...feeling bruised mentally today but i shall try to wake out of my slumber and lumber...time to live the life i want.....time to live to be more precise....dont pre-judge me now for here i come....BMW