9/2/2006 - the milestone feelings in life

ok...gonna try and encapsulate how i feel in a nutshell...for time is essential and this feeling may never come ever again...tommorow is a day that will never come again...yes,its finally the day for the 'O's to come out..i really kind of regret not doing better last year point taken..but i gotta move on from that now...gonna start taking my chances and creating them...for tommorow...i dunno what to think...i really seriously with all my heart dunno what to think and i dont want to...for it will tempt my fate in every way..i really want to do well..i forcasted many things but i dont want to put my life on it...stemming the faith is tempting as ambitious envelopes me...circling me in a confused frenzy..gonna stop thinking and contemplating...oh man i love my tpjc og and cg...my cg is super fun man!! so is my og and i am so gonna miss them sigh...so gonna miss them...never before has every fibre in my skin long not to part...its really well...its unexplainable,literally and metaphorically...in a drift of my own..must not think im living on borrowed time...must think i can still shape my destiny...i chance to meet those gems again..the gems of individuals...the warmth of human kinship,the daily patakeing of the human dance of life,the courtship,the kinship,the competiveness,the zealth...lost my fire along the way..not willing to go down that way again...gonna try to live on and move on..for now though...its a real time warp...i shant think about it i shant think about it...hope im not approaching lunacy coz i really got a lot to live up to...not only in academic but in everything..special dedication must go to OG 19 and 06S06 for giving me such an exhilirating and tan talizing stay...as i end my time as a temporary entorage..i shall never forget you all...the memories shall be treasured forever...for now is a time to grow,time to carve one's future,time to stem strong bonds..never before has the internal feelings been so tapped and so touched...for now i leave a better man...for now i go a stronger man...and forever,a grateful man!! God Bless You All!! may everyone fulfill there potential,may everyone feel their spirits at the pinnacle,may everyone experience the blessed sacraments of life...may everyone be given the claudestine opputunity to shine like the rainbow in the sky...the lust of life to be bourne by all...everyone good luck and get what they want....thinking is not a switch,its an asset and a liabilty..so far im encrusted in the aura of both..the aura is great...the resistance must be strong...stop thinking about it...or about luck yesterday...or about anything...just savour this moment....this point of total exhilaration,the uniqueness of the many dimensions of time...for we may not pass this way again...but the feeling evoked is the same...for a strong sense of belonging shall forever be etetched in me...a strong sense of one's inclination,a passive motion forward,edging like a yearning lunge into space..for now the feeling is rampant,the thoughs are rampant,the ego lurking behind dulling with contrasting thoughts...i shall not want to be dead tommorow...but i shall take it in all its might,its splendor,its might...no matter the feebleness of my confidence,the fragility of my ego,or the tattered charisma and the disarray state of oneself...i shall live to fight all the way,as midnight draws near on a day not to forget,i have decided its useless to think i can stop thinking,for dawning upon the moment of truth,one takes a small step forward,and a wealth of experience...once and for all,the retirement of the plogging mind is imminent,the necessities of life will one day no longer be potent...just got to make do at that time,that space...for now decides the future,the past decides what you do now,and the past can be garnered to do or not to do in the future...out of ashes we come and to ashes we shall go...its what we become in between that will determine our structure,our carnal power..for now is a test for the mind and soul...the body just displays it...must be feeling so dragged on now..so laggy,so distant...my mind has garnered more miles than ever..gone the last few days of the usual interests..they seem a long time ago now..i hope whatever i feel tommorow will stay with me forever...it shall be a stepping stone for furthur avenues or milestones,for the cornerstone for today's society stems from the turning point in foundation...and this is it...got to stop worrying,gotta stop procrastinating...there is much to be done...just send me on..live on..breathe on....i love you guys at tpjc,i love my og,i love my class...i shall never forget you all..its the strongest feeling ever..good luck you all especially for tommorow...life goes on...i must retire..i hope my thoughts dont kill me...and i trust in the faith of my peers will pay off...tommorow will answer alot of questions,but will also open new ones...i will live to find life's answers...life's meaning....life's purpose..Potest Qui Vult!! FOR A NEW LEASE OF LIFE!! God Bless!!