19/3/2006 - ruing yet another terminal mistake

am i really destroying my life? my tradition? im really loss for words and what i should do now..what i do know is im not cut out for band...yes that i know lol...and guess what,esplanade tommorow with admittedly slack preparation,and a schoolmate presurrizing me to go for band...admittedly it wasnt jeremy's fault for introducing him to me,but really,i left myself stuck again.i dont want band again lol..i want a sport...i want a sport!! like tennis or something...man im starting to feel down again..and people impression of cjc is not very good,obviously the previous image has rubbed the shine off recent improvements...yet again i must prove myself,there is nothing i can do now,the question is,can i not join the band? really la...i sian already...and im not that good la sigh...

day started average...family day today lol..went to church,went for lunch,went home to watch the malaysian grand prix,saw ferraris(both) penalized for engine failures and coming in 5th and 6th,saw a renault one-two,and a typical sunday evening playing tennis albeit it earlier today 1730-1930...yeah then had dinner and went to the expo to collect some stuff my mum left behind at a bookfair,and then came home again...now i just got caught up on MSN with this cj percussionist...and im stuck..i dun want to join band,i want to join tennis...do i have a choice? shall i make a choice? uggrhh....depression depression....so how?