15/4/2006 - ever crushing frustrations
hmmm...hmm...things are just getting worse and worse....in fact its so bad i dont feel like talking about it...or lets put it this way...i cant even talk about it...its too much...it just come bit by bit...turn by turn...im going round and round in circles...my mind faces a terminal death...its by far the worst i ever felt...everything is crashing down at the moment...sigh....=(
i dont know what to say...im totally totally lost...ok,my studies are absolutely in disarray...ive only done a PI draft at home the whole year so far...and it got fucking rejected!! shit man...now i got 2 drafts,a group PI,tutorials,cca,and a detentio that i owe....i got no mood for them at the moment...sigh...and im not doing anything about it....
on another front...i think i am starting to piss people off as well...people are just getting irritated by me...and then im making people feel uncomfortable as well...its just not a reputation i want...but well its building....somehow my negatism has rubbed off into them as well...and it doesnt help i got no avenue to vent my frustrations to....stayed up this morning to watch Man United draw 0-0 with Sunderland....what rubbish!! i cant say anything is right at the moment...my academic,my fitness,my social life,my psychological state,my interests....its all crashing down...not coincidental or anything...but it has a unwanted resemblance to the post O Level results disaster...sigh..this time that path is simply impregnable...or i need it to be...for i have much to lose and nothing to gain....got to get my act together and mellow down..the honeymoon is well and truly over..i got to buck up or at this rate...i am seriously going to stay back next year....dark times ahead...i better go brace myself the best i can...
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