15/5/2006 - knackered to ropes of thrusted angst

feeling like just thrusting forward in frenzied insanity..feeling the icy grip chilling the spiritual wounds licking up my flesh...feeling like im dying to ask the question...why? why oh why???? its so well erm...i dunno...what am i doing so awfully wrong? actually...its none of the above, really....its a feeling i never had before..its time to be really honest here...i really really think this is my chance and my last chance. she is a wonderful girl...and i really am going to soon..okok its time...well...erm..peace out...im stunned, shocked...im in dismantled motivation...what am i saying neither i know...well...its something i got to think again...studies are like shit...and really shit...as for my social life...im irritating the shit out of everyone...what i need is a grip!! i dont know what im doing...i really really dont know...slowly im feeling my happiness ebbing away...what is going on??? just letting the wind blow me off my feet, the rain drowns my heart...the sun burns my desire...the darkness envelopes me in despair...crying out for solace in the piercing torment...honestlly its not supposed to be this way..and i dont want to do the wrong thing...am i sure no? do i want to do the wrong thing? no...what the hell am i doing anyway? i dont know!!

the sun sets yet another day,

vitality of life slips more away,

frustrations mount,

the incarceration,

the contemplation,

the disemination,

the stereotype,

the empathy,

the false hopes,

the negativity,

the naiveity,

the humility,

honestly,

its all going futile,

whats going on?

need a map to find the present,

lost in a warp of solitude,

lost in the wild darkness,

the whipping allure,

the aloofness of character,

the sieved lust,

the veneration through time,

the habits parasited,

whats time whats now whats where and how?

confusion,

its really a spellbound drift,

cast in unchartered waters,

totally humiliated,

nothing to cry for,

what art thee on earth for?

the search,

the journey,

the reason,

the answer,

La Forza Del Destino