8/6/2006 - Roland Garros 2006 QF: Rafael Nadal v Djorkovic 6-4,6-4 (Ret.)

today is a rather monotone day. I slept at 0500 after lolling on the internet. Amazing what a 17 year old girl can do to your mind yeah. Well i said  she was brilliant and all but couldnt stop thinking about her lol.I better stop all this now for they can yield the axe any day. Yes i missed fencing again today. Was just simply too tired. Which left me bewildered with the question, what am i supposed to do now? Im torn between going back to normality and the formality of studying like in sec 1, foregoing the full utilization of socializing and well, i just cant afford to forego that now at this rate. Looking at how a girl of my age can reach the semi final of roland garros leaves me asking what i have done compared to the success she is enjoying, and she is pretty too. While im happy for her, there is a tinge of regret at to why my life is so unsucessful, not because mainly i havent had the oppurtunity to, but its just the character i think.Its just the frustrations of my ife paralleled with my happiness for her that is making me have a torrential headache. Its been rather contemplative,their life path set dead on as a child, for me its not even there yet sigh, wish there was a more wholesomeness that i can hope to use in my life, now im just reeling at the brims of embarrassment and failure. Something needs to be done, i need to find the answer, i hope i would find it sooner rather than later. Look i have said this countless times already, but the notion remains, i need to solve it before it kills me,and the death could well be next year touchwood. Yeah so rather contemplated at home the whole day, and had a futile attempt to make up for lost ground, and sprained my wrist badly in a setbacl during the tennis today. Sigh, people are running where i barely even tread, people have come, done and gone where i still dread, i fear the end is nigh, ill be singing the blues soon, just hoping for the miracle, the song of the impossible that can help me get back on track, the odds are low but are possibilities nevertheless, ah well here goes, SOS.

back to the match report, was rather disapponted to see Rafael Nadal for only 2 games today before the Ljubicic game which was a long drawn victory for the croat, setting up the top 4 seeds against each other, Federer [1] v Nalbandian [3] and Nadal [2] v Ljubicic [4]. I came back it was 6-4,5-3. Nadal won in the next 2 games and then Djorkovic, who so empathically disposed of Nikolai Davydenko who fell on the floor earlier and injured his back, retired in the 3rd set after 2 game points. Sad end to the tennis today, only 2 singles game was broadcasted, and no doubles shown like the Wimbledon. ah well, the matches are getting less, time to prepare for the mid year-exams, and then yeah, sort my life out and maybe get into the groove of a normal human life, or get the girl or something. So hmm..computer is so irritating, and yeah i hope it does not make me rewrite, ok meeting marian and amanda tommorow at 1030, ciao!!