21/12/2006 - that familiar feeling
somewhere in the thick wintry english fog that continued from yesterday i will serach for my lost past. for now this feeling i have come to know at home has followed me where i seeked refuge away from. my fondest of memories since 1994. dear old Britain, effectively my second home. As I dawned my feet on its soil once again, its countryside turns back the years in memories, flooding me with what the innocence of youth brought in its beauty, the freedom of knowing you are not under scrutiny or being judged, the flexibilty of not being prejudiced, and most crucially, the wonderment that you neednt need to wonder at all, the wonders and worries which werent burdened as you didnt have a care in the world. As i stare into the familiar scenes moved in time, everything else stays the same. Nein. people move on mate. they grow. they nurture. and suddenly, the past was gone. lost. where i thought i might get my bliss back by visiting my childhood source of inspriation and radiant source of warmth for my soul, i see for myself that the scars ive grown will follow, and the burdens laden will carry. what a fairytale land no more. i can see the mould, the cast, the essential to be the fabric of society right before my eyes. and i see people younger adjusting wonderfully to the stages of development. whatever happened to me in that stage of metamorphication? what happened to the instinct to change and grow that is inborn the moment you open your eyes to the world? has it all been blown away by the vices of the artificial facade of the material world? it cant be so mandatory, for the iciest of feelings point to a deeper cause of effect, an effect so stemmed into the veins, the genetical composition of hesistation and such lack of confidence. it did seem like heaven did it. as the eyes saw the trains go by, the tunnels riden, the hills rolled on, the sun didnt seem to end. it didnt just fit the blend to be but in that environment to have caused the harm, it must have been the lethall combination of both. and its just what fate decided the moment the dices were rolled in the lap of the gods. the feeling. that familiar feeling of my youth and teenage life, continues to poison the purity of the human soul and incarcerate its tender skin. before i sink into beyond redemption in the unreturnable depths of desperation, my last saving grace would be by feeble hope things will change for the better, just to see that moment when i was four again. turning back time meant more to me then anyone else now i should say, and at least the serenity of being able to taste that bittersweet lustre with nature and its delightful blend and relationships with humans would be one to savour. and it will be something i shall seek for, to turn back time, to remember that fodden feeling, the lush greenery of satisfaction you know you're life is on track. for now though, i shall have to content myself with that empty seat at the bahnhof strasse, the thick fog on a mountain excursion and the lashing rain on a beach vacation. for once the cracks showed it was papered over, and now its peeling to show how my soul is bleeding and losing it to everything around it. alas. this cannot go on. this familiar feeling cant go on. times are just so quick and unforgivable these days, life is like a railway track, the path is set, veer wide and get the shock of your life. period. so here i go determined to find myself again. my old self that is. or some say its good to just be yourself. thanks vic =) well. i would try my best, and hope for the rest. but if found wanting, abit more than improvisation is needed it has to be said.
i need to catch up with the world man.
sigh.
long way to go im afraid.
2007 is coming.better start bracing myself for the last minute homework and reports and blind mugging.
one hell of a year to follow, lets make the most of it!
OH YEAH, IF ANYONE KNOWS OF CHEMISTRY GROUP TUTIONS WEST OF KATONG PREFERBLY, COULD YOU BE SO KIND AND INFORM ME?
enjoy the yuletide fever and merry christmas!!
-0035-
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About Me
Brandon Wong DOB:12 Nov 1989 E-mail:brandon_wong89@hotmail.com School: Catholic Junior College (2T35) Hobbies: Soccer,Tennis, Cycling, Pool.. Supports: Manchester United Ferrari Rafael Nadal Avenged Sevenfold
My Top 10 Songs
1. TEARS DONT FALL- BFMV
2. STRENGTH OF THE WORLD - A7X
3. BLEEDING HEARTS- ATREYU
4. SEIZE THE DAY- A7X
5. BECOMING THE BULL- ATREYU
6. SECOND HEARTBEAT- A7X
7. BLINDED IN CHAINS-A7X
8. BEAST AND THE HARLOT- A7X
9. THE WICKED END- A7X
10. EX's AND OH's- ATREYU
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