22/3/2007 - normality

slowly but surely,

with every step in time,

in every moment of life,

its become a momumental retreat,

one of significant,

yet detrimental consequence,

where the last hope is in small compromises,

that are the beginning of another shortfall.

as the curtain closes on such a chapter,

its leaving none of fun and laughter,

or love and hope of cheer but fear,

fear of continuity of solace at near.

its never going to end,

i thought it was,

at the ascendency it was utopian,

but not appreciated,

until the leaves wilt and the trees fall,

and will never get back there again at all.

how i got into such a fix,

is one that i rue of unusual mix,

a blend which proved nothing at all,

but ultimately my shortfall.

where to find one natural protocol?

amidst such competitiveness,

and such demands stood tall,

its there for most but gone for few,

and few includes where pastures seem new,

an uneasy step where strongholds should stand,

a wilted fern where trees should beckon,

and one where everyone should comprehend.

will i ever smile again,

or taste the sweetness life can hold,

 fated to destiny in dreams not real,

twisted by normality surrounding turned cold.

it was always going to be a uphill task,

silently i knew i accepted my fate,

my confidence as low as a sell by date,

that lucky break i yearned for,

hoped for,

lived for.

never came.

never will.

as i go about chasing pheripheral shadows in my life,

maybe its time im resigned to fate,

although i rather die standing,

then live in torrid hate,

but what else can life offer?

what else can life serve?

except further shocks,

and descendtions from the abyss,

my brief bliss will go amiss,

or worse still,

be my knife in the dark,

to incarcerate my wounded wound,

to step up growing desperation,

and fragile tattered souls.

its being tossed in winds of fate,

and vices of misery,

with a route further down with traps full laden,

or burdens stacked that sink when boden,

i live to hope one day,

just one day,

that things might turn around,

and i can say,

i love everyone,

i love my friends,

i love my life,

i love myself.

i love you.

patience waning into desolation,

hearts burning for full completion,

as every sinew is strained to hear the cusp of a dying flesh,

and cauldrons of blood having bled to dry,

its time to hope for a clear blue sky,

and new beginning.

first step, normality.