OLD SHIRLS SEND OFF A DELEMMA FOR CLEM?

          A CASE...

FOR QUICK THINKING!!!

Almost at once he felt ill at ease, He wasn't sure, what

he was going to do, he knew he had to control his emotions

to the best of his ability. He sat on the edge of his bed with

his head resting in his hands, trying to get something

constructive to come into  his  mind. God only knew, how he

would get through this day, and he prayed like never before

for Divine intervention. Clem's daughters were arriving on

the afternoon train from the big smoke, and he had the dubious

pleasure of picking them up.

The situation could get out of hand, unless he acted quickly.

Maveral and Gloria were spinsters and they were coming up

country for the funeral of their Mother who had passed away

a week ago. Clem had no time for his daughters and could not

begin to comprehend, why they were bothering to show up

unless they thought, they would tell him how to live his life

from here on. Well! That would be the day, not on your life

mate! He would put up with them until the funeral and wake

had been held and then he would pack them back on the train

faster than he could say.

"Where's your draws Nelly MaCree."

Where had all these people come from? The church was

packed and the little churchyard was bulging with all sorts

of characters, most of them had come for a good yarn and

some good tucker, yes indeed a good feed wouldn't be too bad.

If the truth be known some gossip and entertainment of sorts,

wouldn't go astray, would give them all something to talk

about for years. Jack was Clem's only son and his favourite

child, a point not lost on the two daughters, they were itching

to say there piece before this day end

As the coffin was loaded into the hearse Maveral and

Gloria started to wail and yell abuse at Clem accusing

him of being a terrible father and husband. This outburst

was too much for Jack to get a grip on and he was just

about to explode, when his wife gave him a not to gentle

nudge. Clem too was about to  burst into an explosive rage

but just managed to keep it all together, for how much

longer he just couldn't tell.

From a distance came the sound of a brass band. Clem

and Jack  could not work out how or why a band would be

playing way out here in the sticks at dear old Shirl�s big

sendoff. Sure enough as the burial commenced the bedraggled

band came marching on into the cemetery playing;

"When I die, don't bury me at all just pickle my bones in

alcohol."

Most people stood gaping open mouthed, others tittered

and some were livid and words failed them. The band did

a circuit or two of the cemetery playing various other

renditions all dreadful. Gloria and Maveral stood on a

tombstone and cheered like deranged ninkumpoops,

clapped their hands and gesticulated for everyone to

follow suit, when no one took up the invitation they gave

the band three cheers and thanked them for coming at

such short notice for their beloved Mothers funeral.

"Oh! Please, for Gods sake........ what next," 

Jack moaned to his wife  and Clem could only think

about how he could short circuit their visit and get rid

of these two daughters, he had no time for and never

would. How could he have fathered these two females,

was a question he asked himself many times

over the years and he supposed he would never know in

this life time. No! He would never work out why...

But still it puzzeled him greatly!

15:41 - Sunday, October 2, 2005 - post comment

Untitled Comment

Good read, but I have to say a mixed up bunch.

Anonymous - 16:40 - Saturday, September 10, 2005