SIGN POSTS ARE NOT ALWAYS HELPFUL...

"Turn left at the next exit and follow the truck route,"

he just kept driving right on past the exit saying.

"No that can´t be right,"

Three hours later they finally found their way back onto the main highway but by this time they should have been at the camping spot. Archibald says,

"We need petrol forthwith,"

So they look out for a station and see a Shell Roadhouse coming up not far ahead.

"That will do! Better have a leak as well, you women do like-wise because I´m not stopping again."

The journey gets back on the move again and all is quiet in the car,Janice keeps her eyes and mind alert watching for the place they should turn. All of a sudden the turn off is upon them, Janice yells.

"Archibald turn right here I know this road."

Archibald turns the car sharply and nearly tips everyone out, but somehow manages to keep the car on it´s wheels and hurtles on down the road in the pitch black dead of the night through ditches and pot holes.

Meanwhile Prudence thinks the situation is hilarious and bursts into wild bursts of hysterical laughter. Archibald slams on the brakes and says.

"What kind of directions have you two mad women been giving me?

Get out and walk I´m sick to death of the both of you."

He rants and raves,

"What sort of road is this? A cow-track no less."

Janice and Prudence flatly refuse to get out the car and after much heated debate they get on the move again. Signposts loom in the approaching headlights Janice yells.

"Archibald lets get a look at these dashed signposts."

"Oh no!"

Prudence moans....... as Archibald just plants his big on the accelerator and roars on past and they don´t get to read one dash thing.

"Well where are we?"

Says he, Prudence snorts and chortles. 

"God only knows! Could be Timbuctu for all I know. How can you expect us to be able to read a sign post in the dead of night without stopping."

With that Archibald wants to know where the nearest petrol station might be?

"No where near here."

They manage to say between swoons of loud raucous laughter. By this time Archibald is at his wits´ end. It´s now 3-am in the morning and they approach a small country hamlet.

"Ah! We need a petrol station," says he once more.

But needless to say the only petrol bowser is closed at this wee hour of the morning, but he pulls on in and declares he will wait there until it opens whenever that might be.Janice and Prudence protest loudly and dig their heels in saying,

"You silly old coot, what the devils up with you?"

They look at the big old signpost in the middle of the roundabout and say,

"Now look here we are not sitting here until God knows when, you silly old buffoon. It´s only a couple of more miles down that road and we will be there, okay."

More tittering and a wee bit of cajolery and they were off to what seemed an elusive camping spot on the Buffalo River at Nug Nug. All the family, who had been waiting and wondering all through the night, couldn´t believe a three and a half hour journey could take the best part of twelve hours. Prudence reckoned the trip was the biggest hoot and she was in gut wrenching fits of mirth. Archibald, if the truth be known, could have committed murder on that long night. Janice just sank into a banana lounge and listened to her Archibald tell everyone who wanted to listen what a crazy bloody women he was married to and her Mother was just as mad in his eyes. And yet.... they had the return journey to look forward to, interesting indeed.

"Yeah right!"

The thought gave him the shutters. 

18:57 - Sunday, November 13, 2005 - post comment

Untitled Comment

I've been reading some of your stories and this one is a bit of

nonsensical whimsy, I think if I was Archibald I would have

killed both of the women...both nuts it seems?

Anonymous - 15:27 - Thursday, September 29, 2005