SECOND PART OF...I COULDN'T HAVE WRITTEN IT BETTER MYSELF!

Yet, if we don’t remain vigilant,

We can inadvertently slip into using labels.

"Those who make the effort to follow their dream,

Whatever it is, never regret it.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of the slackers,

Do-nothings, and loafers, for they will live with regret,

Disappointment, and sorrow."

I wanted to forcefully express how regrettable it is that some
people are not willing to make the effort to improve their lives.
But I didn’t have to resort to name-calling to do so.

Instead of writing about "slackers, do-nothings, and loafers,"

I could have (and should have) written the sentence as,

"Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of those who don’t,

For they will live with regret, disappointment, and sorrow."
After all, suppose a reader is stuck in a rut and can’t get out.

How would he or she feel about being called a "slacker,

Do-nothing, or loafer?"
Wouldn’t they rather be encouraged than put down?

So, if I offended a reader, I apologize.

Admittedly, sometimes a little "tough love’ may be called for.
But the problem is, it is far easier to be tough than to be loving.

Why do we resort to or accept the labelling of others?
Here are some reasons.

a)      It is easier and requires less effort,

    To assume something is true than to look up the facts.

b)      If we’re uncertain of the facts,

   We’d rather go along with others than admit our ignorance.

c)      It may be a hollow attempt to raise our stature by trivializing,

    Ridiculing, and demonising others.

d)      It may be due to carelessness and bad habits.

e)      We may fear and be suspicious of others.

f)      We may lack critical thinking skills.

g)      We may have been brought up with prejudice.

h)      We may use labels to control others.

i)        Whether we agree with them or not,

j)       We may accept labels to remain part of the "in crowd.

k)      We may not be assertive enough to come to the defence of others.

Once we understand why we do so, we can work on eliminating,

The habit of labelling others.

We can overcome it by cultivating unconditional acceptance,
compassion, and understanding.

We can learn to observe and experience the world without judgment.

We can remain detached from expectations and demands.

We can learn to accept what is, and people as they are.
We can grow in humility.

Labels are judgmental.

However, like it or not, sometimes we will be called upon to judge others.

Perhaps it is in the role of a parent,

Evaluating their daughter’s suitor, a supervisor evaluating
an employee, or enemies preparing to negotiate.

What then?
How can we judge others fairly?

If you are to judge and wish to learn the heartfelt"

Feelings of another, don’t listen to what others say about

Him or her; rather, listen to what he or she says about others.

For as Author Jane Porter wrote,

"I never yet heard man or woman much abused,

That I was not inclined to think the better of them, and to

Transfer the suspicion or dislike to the one who found pleasure

In pointing out the defects of another."

Also, never judge the actions of others until you know
their motives.

In other words, judge them with your heart and mind,

Not your eyes and ears.

While the emphasis has been on avoiding judging others unfairly,

We cannot stress enough the importance of applying

The same degree of fairness to ourselves.
I know someone a little older than I who believed he was inferior
because his education did not go beyond the sixth grade.

"I have nothing of value to say because I’m uneducated."

He used to say.

He labelled himself as uneducated.’

However, I explained how it was impossible for that to be so,

Because life itself is an education.

Fortunately, he no longer hesitates to venture his opinion

And we all benefit, for he is wiser than many college grads.

Our self-applied labels can bind us or free us.
Compare "I am powerless" with "I am enthusiastic and confident."
If you must label yourself, stick to positive ones,

But not to the point of becoming arrogant or acting superior.

Finally, if you don’t mind changing gears and returning to
the subject of assumptions, not all assumptions are harmful,
just negative ones.

For instance, I have discovered that if we assume everyone is good,

Regardless of his or her behaviour, we will find that our assumption

Was correct.

After all, goodness is our nature; we are all inclined to be good,

And given the chance, we will prove to be so.
Strictly speaking, this is not an assumption since it is based on and
verified by long experience.

On the other hand, if I start out assuming Lawrence,

Is not to be trusted and has malicious intentions,
won’t I treat him with contempt?

And how will Lawrence respond to my contemptuous behaviour?

Won’t he react with hostility?

So...
MY ASSUMPTIONS CREATE THE REALITY THAT I ASSUME TO BE TRUE.
That may be something worth thinking about.

20:51 - Tuesday, December 12, 2006 - post comment