THE EVE OF CHRISTMAS!

A Lament From Santa Clause

"Twas the night before Christmas."

Old Santa was feeling sick from too much wine and cake.
He cursed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little shits.
I! Have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've worked my arse off all damn year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"...what do I hear?
Old Mrs. Claus, is whinging because I work late at night.
The elves want more money...The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph is drunk and is up to no good with the maidens.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen is the blame.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those arse-holes from the Tax office sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes... now as if that ain't damn funny.
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days...they are all, that damn fussy.
They want the impossible...Those ungreatful little dears. 
 I spent a whole year making wagons, rocking horses and trucks,
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads,
I made a ton of yo yo's...No request for them,
They want computers and robots...

They think, I'm a electronics factory, like IBM or one like them. 

Flying through the air...dodging the trees,
Falling Down!  Chimneys and skinning my knees,
I'm thinking of quitting this job there' s just no enjoyment,
and if I do, I'll sit on my fat arse and draw unemployment.

So if I don't turn up this Christmas, you now know the reason,
I've got my eye on greener pastures and...

I'm seriously thinking of quiting the job for the season.

    "MERRY CHRISTMAS"

09:50 - Saturday, December 16, 2006 - post comment

Oh Dawnie!

You've outdone yourself AGAIN!! Hilarious....and sadly, TRUE!

Anonymous - 14:14 - Saturday, December 16, 2006