"Would you if it was put to you like this?"

PARENTENTAL Job Description

This is quiet humorous.

If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!

POSITION :
Mum, Mummy, Mama, Ma, Mother
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop, Papa

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging
Permanent work in an
Often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
And organizational skills and be willing to work
Variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
And frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to_
Primitive camping sites on rainy weekends_

And endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily_
Until, someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule_
And be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
In case, this time, the screams from_
The backyard, are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
Such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
And stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
Coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
For clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
An embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
Half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

*AND A FOOTNOTE THERE IS NO RETIREMENT EVER!

Must always hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, accountability for_

The quality of end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and_

Janitorial responsibility throughout the facility.

POSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION_

NONE!

Your job is to remain in the same position for years_
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
So that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
Of the assumption that college will help them
Become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
You, actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
No tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and_
No stock options are offered;
This job supplies limitless opportunities_

For personal growth, unconditional love,
And free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.


Copy this and post it, to all the PARENTS you know_

In appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis_
To, let them know they are appreciated
For the fabulous job they do_
Or forward with love_
To anyone thinking of applying for the job.

** AND A FOOTNOTE THERE IS NO RETIREMENT EVER! **

If you are fortunate enough you will become Grandparents! 

09:04 - Wednesday, November 28, 2007 - post comment

I will pass

This reminds me of a Poem by Syliva Plath about marriage. I think it was called The Applicant. It was quite amusing

SilverWind - 12:28 - Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Thank you

Thanks for visiting Silverwind, I thought it rang very true and had a humorous side to it.
Also thought many parents could readily relate to it.

DAWNIE - 13:46 - Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Meaningless caption

Looks like a tough job. I hope I'm up for it when the day comes. I have taken the liberty to post a Dutch translation on a social networking site I've joined recently. They have a blog option, and I'm not sure what to do with that yet. I don't think many people will read, but if they do, at least it'll be something educational.

dutchboy - 00:02 - Thursday, November 29, 2007

Dear Dawnie

Please do not think I am avoiding you sweetheart, I sent you several e-cards and emails but got no response from you so I assumed you were upset, I apologize that I was in error.
I hope you had a beautiful and Blessed Christmas, and wish you a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year and my love to you, family and especially little Bailee
all my love,
(((((((((((Hugs, Blessings, and Love))))))))))
Love,
Heather
xoxoxoxoxo

Heather - 03:48 - Saturday, January 5, 2008