The love of my entire life.
Recently a few friends were discussing marriage, and I heard myself saying, "I had married myself some time ago." I surprised myself once i said it, as I did not really have a ceremony as a result, but it did dawn on me that within a subtle way and over a period of time, I had actually had a 'Commitment Ceremony with Myself'.
These folks were intrigued with my statement, and before I knew it, I had been explaining that, like lots of people, I had longed for a partnership with that one special person, and many types of that that involved. I had created in my mind my set of what I needed and wanted, and yet another list of all my disappointments and heartbreaks. Lists full of dreams, hopes and cynicisms. An ideal person, the perfect relationship and my perfect life took part and out of my daydreams for many years.
I thought about the weddings that we had attended, and the vows that people make and wondered just what the probability was that somebody could indeed fulfil those promises. To love, honour and cherish, in sickness plus health, for richer or poorer, for much better or worst. To be faithful and keep themselves simply for the other. For God to approve the union as well as a warning that no man can put asunder. It's interesting that individuals all believe rather that there really is a person who can love, honour and cherish all of us the days of our lives. Interesting, mostly because it probably never occurs to all of us that we are incapable of loving, honouring and cherishing ourselves each of the days of our lives. It is somewhat amazing to think about that we can stand before God fully believing we are capable of loving another individual like that, and offering up our full and heart felt commitment. It's even more amazing that we do believe that someone can fulfil that commitment.
In the early days of reinventing myself, I had to get totally honest with myself while i explored the many facades, illusions and erroneous beliefs i had about myself. I also had to get very clear about the difference between what I wanted, rather than what I thought I want to. I needed to set clear goals, and that i needed to dump a great deal of baggage. Ultimately, I desired to not only know myself, but first and foremost I needed to like myself.
It will require time, it takes attention and it takes determination. I really got to a stage where I not simply achieved this, but I also considered that I could even push it further and explored the potential of 'Loving Myself'. No, I do not mean arrogance, vanity, self-centeredness or selfishness (those actions are insecurities clothed as self-confidence).
My idea of marrying myself is around commitment; making promises and committing to pay attention to living those vows each day. Initially, when I thought we would make changes in my life, I wanted to improve my health insurance and energy levels. On accomplishing this, I then decided to actively pursue well-being on all levels: creativity, financial and business success, improved relationships as well as a beautiful peaceful home life.
In bringing this all about, I also made drastic modifications in letting go of things that impeded or prevented my success. Once these products were put into place, the easier it all became. The better I felt, greater I could add to my report on what I needed and wanted, and also the easier it became to realize those goals. As my self-confidence and self-respect grew, my report on obstacles became much easier to deal with.
Respect and Self-confidence
As a child, I was taught it had become selfish or bad manners to place my needs before the needs of others. It turned out vain to think i was anything special, and talking over my achievements was regarded as being bragging. Pleasing other folks suggested that I was kind and likable, and so i learned very at the outset of life to detach myself from myself. I spent my childhood years feeling guilty only thought that I had a thing that someone else didn't have. I can't remember leaving food with a plate without feeling guilty concerning the starving children in India. Although I truly do believe that it is important to be considerate and humble, I would not believe that this requires us to be disrespectful to ourselves.
Somehow the good intention of learning to be kind, considerate and fair is becoming jumbled in our brains. Most of us have interpreted these good teachings to signify other people are more important than were, our opinion is less valued as opposed to opinions of others or put simply that we have been designed to believe that we are less and us are less. The effect of such thinking leads to a lack of self-respect and low self-esteem.
A lot of people live their lives like they are assistants to other people. Many individuals have fantastic opportunities presented, nevertheless they just can't recognize or accept them. The frequency of which do amazingly brilliant or talented people never be able to show the world their work? How common could it be to be capable of loving someone, although not ever experience being loved in exchange?
Low self-esteem or lack of self-respect serves no purpose. Putting yourself last, getting the least amount, keeping your ideas quiet or making yourself 'Small' at all, serve no purpose.
The smaller you allow yourself to become, the less you'll need to contribute to anyone else. So, forget the 'I'm kind, humble, considerate and fair' image you happen to be giving yourself as it is easy to be generous when you have little to offer. Insufficient self-respect is nothing more than stifling your personal spirit.
No matter how much we concentrate on our physical reality, it really is almost impossible to ignore the spiritual element of being. Yes, we all have been spiritual beings here on this planet Earth, and we are all having a physical experience. However, the spirit within is actually whispering and it is always with us to honour our place on the Earth and to honour your own existence. Low self-esteem is an insult to this great gift of life that individuals each have been given. It is just a unique and individual journey. No one is here to experience someone else's life; you can support and assist others, but you will not sacrifice your lifetime to live for others.
We've made a point about self-esteem and self-respect, as I believe it is impossible to get happy if we will not have respect for ourselves. Self-confidence is not about who you were or whom you will be, it is about being comfortable within your own skin, and placing great value all on your own existence regardless of who or what your location is.
If I were prepared to commit to myself just how two lovers commit in marriage, then my vows may possibly be:
I (name...) promise myself to honour and provides gratitude for the privilege of getting this life.
I am going to view my existence as my most precious and valued gift,
and i'll endeavour to add my unique qualities for this process.
My intention because of this journey is to accept love, happiness and peace within each day.
I will operate from the place of respect and honesty web-sites and myself,
and i'll be genuine and thoughtful in doing my actions.
Because I love, honour and respect myself
I consciously allow my heart to reach out and fill others.
I (name...) vow how to fill my body with all that promotes health insurance and vitality.
I will spend on myself to treat myself as my most sacred temple.
Let me fill my mind with and look after thoughts that inspire creativity, wisdom files and optimism.
I'll speak of health, wealth and happiness and share such words effortlessly I meet.
Fortune, success, prosperity and exciting opportunities will likely be embraced and received fully.
I'll actively pursue quality relationships, enjoyable work and stimulating experiences.
I will be kind and gentle with myself, and permit myself to relax and stay peaceful.
I will seek pleasure and excellence in my work as well as my play.
Today I make my pledge to myself, as well as in my heart I will carry forward my commitment throughout each of the days of my life.
Today I make my pledge to myself, as well as in my heart I will carry forward all of that I am and all which i will become to add to the world my best in all things.