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*The Bitchin' Blonde*
The Bitchin' Blonde

Witchy, bitchy, and blonde. I love life and all that goes with it, but sometimes, ya gotta bitch to make it through.





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Posted in Little Giggles

 

Things You Can Only Say On Thanksgiving


 Talk about huge breasts!
 Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
 It's Cool Whip time!
 If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
 That's one terrific spread!
 I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
 Are you ready for seconds yet?
 It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
 Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
 Don't play with your meat.
 Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
 Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? 
I didn't expect everyone to come at once! 
You still have a little bit on your chin. 
How long will it take after you stick it in?
. You'll know it's ready when it pops up. 
Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that! 
That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
 
I found this post while surfing this morning over on Blog Explosion.  It was just too cute not to share.  Have a wonderful holiday!

 

 


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Posted in Mood Swings

 

It all started yestersay around 3:30 pm.  I felt this mood take over my body.  I tried to fight it, but alas.........it was way stronger then me, especially since my hands were plunged deep within the bubbles of my dish water.  What the hell, I gave in and put on my bitch face.  (this is when the sparkle in my eyes turns to venom)  Don't ask me what brought it on.  I mean come on, I'm a freakin lawyer NOT a hormone specialist.  Now that we have that settled....on with the story.

 

My hubby came home from work and in my mind should have been tired.  But noooooooo, he breezes through the door with a big grin and I thought, "Hell no, I am NOT in the mood for any sex right now fool!"  He comes up and gives me a peck on the lips, I quickly return the peck and say, "Danger..........I am NOT having a good day."  The more he tried to pet and pamper me, the more irritated I got.  Its Friday for God's sake, how dare he feel so wonderful when I was having a MOOD!

 

I went to bed early after 2 bottles of champagne and about 40 rounds of Texas-Holdem which I lost.  I am thinking the world will be a lot brighter tomorrow right?  So, this morning comes and I leap from my bed as though I have been shot, to look at my mood in the mirror.  Damn, its still on. (the bitch face)  I can already see its going to be a "weekend thing" and I am pissed. (got to get in a better mood you know?)  But hell no, we can't have that.  The day steadily declined from there.

 

So, instead of trying to fight it any longer, I am gonna give in and bitch some.  Maybe if I get it off my chest and into my blog, I can breathe and finish out the day in a halfway decent mood. (my hubby is praying at this point for any relief at all from my mood, lol)  Following is a partial list of irritants for me today:

 

 1.  Blogs that make you log in to comment.  WTF!  I don't want to join you're freakin site, I just want to comment!

 

 2.  Seeing icons at pokerstars.net of players and their icon is a pic of their kids mouth with tongue hanging out. (I want to see this WHY?)  Smack your kids mouth and get his/her tongue in shape BEFORE snapping a pic PLEASE.  Especially if I am gonna have to sit at the poker table and look at it for 2 damned hours.

 

 3.  If you are in a better mood then me today, lie to me and tell me its HELL DAY for you too!  I do not want to hear how great YOUR day is going.  I mean, lets get real here shall we?

 

 4.  People who say bitches bug them really pinch my last nerve.  Lets face it!  We are ALL bitches to some degree and you know I can prove it so don't even go there with me today!

 

 5.  People who come to my blog for blog credits and don't even have the decency or know-how to say hello in the comment box. 

 

 6.  The express lane at Kroger (10 items or less) this morning when the lady in front of me had a buggy overload of crap and then had the NERVE to want to write a check!!!!  Did she think I wanted to "go krogering" all freakin day.  Hell no!  I only wanted a gallon of milk.  Did they care it took me 45 minutes to get throught the so-called EXPRESS lane?????

 

Oh my God, I could keep going but I will not.  Instead, I will leave you with the logo off my favorite t-shirt that I have on right this minute for those who may not understand the ways of a bitch.  Here you go......my t-shirt says.

 

SARCASM, JUST ANOTHER SERVICE I OFFER! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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11/19/2005 - *The Rock Bitch*
Posted in Noteworthy News

 

Well, I usually post about my new tenant of the week but not this post.  This post is all about my new blog landlord who in my own opinion rocks!  OMG, when I visited her blog I was mesmerized from the first word.  Her blog is titled The Rock Bitch and that says it all, she rocks, she rolls, and she bitches.  Best of all.....she does it with style.  Ya gott love that!

 


Again, I don't usually promote the blog I myself am renting, but I am so sure you all are gonna love this one that I just had too.  Go on over and get yourself rocked at The Rock Bitch.

 

Now.....please excuse me while I run on over to BlogShares and see if I can snap up the stock in this blog before everyone else realizes how damned popular it is! 


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Posted in General

Whats that you say?  Never been Snozzed before!  Well hell people, you just haven't lived the life you think you have then!  Nah, seriously...........I am talking about SNOZZBERRIES!  What the hell is a snozzberry?  Your guess is as good as mine, lol.  Anyway, my new tenant for the week is the owner of the SNOZZBERRIES blog.  I had 11 bids this week to rent my blog.  So I checked them all out before deciding.  I think I knew the moment I read the first post at Snozberries, that this was the one for me.

 

The blog author is Cate.  She's Southern, sassy, straight forward, not afraid to speak her mind, and to top it all off, she can laugh about her worklife.  Sound familiar?  Yeah, I felt like I was reading a scrip for my own life when I visited.  I like people like Cate.  No holes barred kind of gal.

 

So if you want a refreshing look at life tossed in with a bit of humor, then go check out SNOZZBERRIES.  Its great.  I have added it to my blogroll because I plan to become a regular reader myself.  Go see what you and I both have been missing.


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Posted in General

Hey, if you stop by.....take a moment to mark your spot on the map by clicking the image below.  You can add your shout, pic, or just a message to the map.  So, let me know you were here and where you are from.  Got to the map and TAG IT!

Check out our Frappr!

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Posted in True Confessions

You know, I can honestly say I have lived an eventful life, lol.  In some ways I am glad of that because there has NEVER been a dull moment.  I read a lot of blogs everyday and try and come up with something new and interesting to keep my readers entertained and coming back.  I have decided to add a new category called *True Confessions* to this blog.  Sometimes its hard for even ME to handle all the things I have done in my lifetime.  We all have a past, and I made mine worth remembering, lol.

 

I am older now and completely setteled (well I would be if that little devil on my shoulder woud back off).  The stories and events I will share with you in True Confessions are very real and actual events in my life.  Keep in mind, none of these events occurred recently.......or did they?  Either way, it should be fun.  So, keep an eye out for my first True Confession entry coming to this blog a little bit later this evening.


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Posted in Blonde Moments

 

Most who know me, would tell you I'll try most anything once.  Thats the adventurous side of me I guess, lol.  Anyway, there is a blog which I read daily at http://www.rockyjay.com.  The site features great topics, great photos, and so much more.  It also has things like "Hottie of the Month", "Ass of the Day", etc.  So..............while perusing the site, I noticed the "Ass of the Day" photo album.  After flipping through a few pages, I thought, "Hmmmm, I can do that!" 

 

Well, I got out the digital camera and snapped a pic or two.  Not thinking I would ever qualify for the site's album, I submitted the above photo to RockyJay.com.  I gotta tell you, I was DAMNED proud when I received a reply that my "Butt Shot" (shown in the above photo) was going to be today's "Ass of the Day".  Woo hoo hoo.  Call me crazy (you'll be right), but that just tickled me PINK!

 

Anyway, ya'll go on over and check out RockyJay.com.  The site rocks!  http://www.rockyjay.com and hey.........tell them Dariana sent you!  Who knows, you may even decide to submit YOUR photo.  Go ahead, just do it!


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Posted in General

I found a link from a blog left here by annonymous (Jake).  So I visited and found a link on his blog to http://www.paulsadowski.com  Why is that creepy?  Well, the site itself was kewl BUT, there are a few scripts there to enter your birthdate and/or your name for some sort of personal revelation.  So, I did the birthdate thing and it was pretty general and could have described most anyone.  However, being the gal that always needs more of everything, I pushed on and tried the name thing.  OMG!  I read the description and it is SO ME, I almost flipped backed to my brunette hair color.  You have got to go try this people.  It rocks!  Here is what mine said.

 

You entered: Dariana Donovan

There are 14 letters in your name.
Those 14 letters total to 61
There are 7 vowels and 7 consonants in your name.

 

Your number is: 7

The characteristics of #7 are: Analysis, understanding, knowledge, awareness, studious, meditating.

The expression or destiny for #7:
Thought, analysis, introspection, and seclusiveness are all characteristics of the expression number 7. The hallmark of the number 7 is a good mind, and especially good at searching out and finding the truth. You are so very capable of analyzing, judging and discriminating, that very little ever escapes your observation and deep understanding. You are the type of person that can really get involved in a search for wisdom or hidden truths, often becoming an authority on whatever it is your are focusing on. This can easily be of a technical or scientific nature, or it may be religious or occult, it matters very little, you pursue knowledge with the same sort of vigor. You can make a very fine teacher, or because of a natural inclination toward the spiritual, you may become deeply emerged in religious affairs or even psychic explorations. You tend to operate on a rather different wavelength, and many of your friends may not really know you very well. The positive aspects of the 7 expression are that you can be a true perfectionist in a very positive sense of the word. You are very logical, and usually employ a quite rational approach to most things you do. You can be so rational at times that you almost seem to lack emotion, and when you are faced with an emotional situation, you may have a bit of a problem coping with it. You have excellent capabilities to study and learn really deep and difficult subjects, and to search for hidden fundamentals. At full maturity you are likely to be a very peaceful and poised individual.

If there is an over supply of the number 7 in your makeup, the negative aspects of the number may be apparent. The chief negative of 7 relates to the limited degree of trust that you may have in people. A tendency to be highly introverted can make you a bit on the self-centered side, certainly very much self-contained . Because of this, you are not very adaptable, and you may tend to be overly critical and intolerant. You really like to work alone, at your own pace and in your own way. You neither show or understand emotions very well. 

 

Your Soul Urge number is: 7

A Soul Urge number of 7 means:
With a number 7 Soul Urge you are very fond of reading, and retreating to periods of being alone and away from the disruptions of the outer world. You like to dream and develop you idealistic understandings, to study and analyze, to gain knowledge and wisdom. You may be too laid back and withdrawn to really succeed in the business world, and you will be much more comfortable in circumstances that are tolerant of your reserve, your analytical approach, and your desire to use your mind rather than your physical being.

You are very timid around people that you don't know very well, so much so at times that casual conversation and social situations can be strained. You tend to repress your emotions to the extend that some people have a good bit of difficult understanding you. You tend to be very selective with friends and you don't easily adapt to new environments or to new people very quickly.

The negative traits of the 7 include becoming too much the introvert and isolated from others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 9

An Inner Dream number of 9 means:
You dream of being creative, intellectual, and universal; the selfless humanitarian. You understand the needy and what to help them. You would love to be a person people count on for support and advice.

 

The ONLY thing here that is NOT me is the repression of emotions.  Not me at ALL!  Also I am VERY adaptable to ANY situation, social scene, environment, etc.  Otherwise, this script fit me like a brand new skin.  So, do me a favor.  IF anyone reads this and IF anyone tries this, I'd be interested in knowing if yours worked out to be anything like you.  So, come on back by and tell me.


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11/13/2005 - *Help Me Out Here*
Posted in General

Okay, yesterday was mine and R's 3rd month wedding anniversary.  So, he took me to dinner and surprised me with the above flowering plant which I think is just beautiful.  The problem is, he cannot remember what the Florist told him it was.  All he DOES remember is that he THINKS she said it was some sort of bamboo plant or something, it need very little light, and almost no water.  So, I need help here!  Does anyone have any idea what this is so I will know exactly how to care for it?  Thanks in advance!


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Posted in Noteworthy News

I am a member of BlogExplosion and they have a new program that allows you to host other blogs on your own called "Rent My Blog".  Its a great way to promote traffic back and forth and gain new readers for your blog.  I find the program exchange very interesting as it has helped me to come across new blogs I might not otherwise have noticed.  For example.....if you look to the left in my sidebar you will see a thumbnail for the weblog of my new tenant "Global Perspective".  The author is a writer by the name of Daniel M. Harrison and he offers a very refreshing point of view on subjects such as Politics, Current Affairs, Finance, etc.  Click the image to go there now.

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11/10/2005 - *Photos At Last*
Posted in General

I have been meaning to add a badge of my Flickr photos for a day or two now.  Really haven't had the time until tonight to play around with this blog template.  I decided to rearrange some things here on my sidebar and add my Flickr Photo Badge.  Wasn't sure it would work here, but it seems okay as far as I can tell.  So, if you get a moment, check out some of my photos by clicking any photo at all in the Flickr Badge shown in the left sidebar.  Scroll down till you see it.

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