I am dreading my daughter's open house tonight! I know what you're thinking, but before you revoke my mom card, hear me out!

1. Parking will be HORRENDOUS!
2. Today is their first full school day. What could the teacher (who is subbing until Nov  possibly know about Stephanie...other than from being our neighbor whose daughter babysat our kids every week for two years)
3. All the other moms will be paired off and chatting while FF will be awkwardly alone.  FF simply can't be the type who will chat for hours about little Johnny's soccer schedule. If you want to talk to me about my activities or politics or whatever, great!! Stephanie is old enough to converse and she is the one who is actually in chorus. If you'd like to speak to her about it, I'll go find her and she'll be happy to answer questions. Listening about little Johnny's soccer is not going to do me any good, and believe me, I am not going to be able to help him become the goalie.
4. The social studies projects you've outlined will be forgotten by the time I'm in the car. I will become immersed in them, however, when the assignments arrive home.
5. After she reached second grade, I no longer ooo-ed and ahhhh-ed at the the sight of my daughter's desk with her name on it. She is growing up. I'll see it at parent-teacher conferences anyway!
6. It won't do me any good to hear what math series you are using. I am not familiar with the books on the market. Also, when you tell me it is published by Harcourt, the novelty of my being able to say, "I used to work for them until they sold my company" wore off years ago.
7. I am already wll versed in the rules. I already knew not to send Stephanie to school with a gun.