Great night last night! The instructor took me aside to clarify what's been bothering me. I told the whole truth. I even admitted to baiting the person I'd like to meet by having my husband act confused during partner drills with me in class, so he'd come over--which didn't work. The helpless female routine. Can't help it. Maybe I've forgotten how to go up to somebody and make conversation but apparently women never forget how to flirt. These old techniques come right out of the mothballs when I don't want them to and after years of disuse, they come out all garbled. He confirmed what I thought; Rick is not a jerk. I felt so much better just talking about it.

HERE COMES THE STUPID PART:

GULP! It was late, I had a celebratory glass or two of wine and I ...........invited Rick to be my MySpace friend. Oh no! I liked what I wrote, though. I told him on whose page I had found his link and that we were in class together. I said something self-deprecating like identifying me and my husband as the old nerdy people who keep their karate belts on during grappling class. Actually I'm the only female there.  I told him that I saw that he is a fire fighter-paramedic and told him that I was a nurse for three years at Il. Masonic, so I can relate. HECK, under heroes, he listed social workers, teachers, and nurses. Now I'm too afraid to look at MySpace and may be too afraid to face him as I understand he will probably be there on Tues. Yikes!

Why am I so afraid that he'll reject me? He's ten years younger than me. Am I afraid that he'll feel like I'm invading his privacy or see me like his mother?? He does say that he personally knows most of his MySpace friends and he doesn't like it when people sign on as friends and then don't drop by his site. I kind of would like to fit in with these people and be friends on some level. I'm not trying to be someone I'm not and hang around with all these cool, younger single people, but it would be nice to go out for a bit once or twice a year, or at least be able to say 'hi, what's new?' to everybody. 

If anyone needs me, I will be hiding in my closet.