I saw small scrolling marquee outside of a drugstore. As I drove by, I mindlessly read, "Amber Alert!!!".  I mindlessly kept reading to see which brands they were selling.

I thought an Amber Alert was a huge BEER SALE for goodness sake!!

I'm not in the market for beer. I take amber alerts (means missing child alert) very seriously. I think John Walsh is a god. What is wrong with me?