2. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the ti me , which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)....
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
 
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was

a salted.
 
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
 
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
 
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home ."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndro me ."
"Is it common?"
"Well, it's not unusual."
 
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you,"says Dolly.
"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
 
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
 
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before! 
 
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
 
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
 
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
 
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes?  A fsh.
 
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!".
 
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 
 
17. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is na me d "Ahmal." The other
goes to a family in Spain ; they na me him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds,   "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
 
18. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The       bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." 
 
19. And finally, there was the person who sent nineteen different puns to her friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did