People have addictions which seem incomprehensible to individuals that do not
have those addictions. Take gambling as an example; non gamblers just don'
t know how or why someone would spend every available opportunity
to sit inside a casino and willingly get rid of all of their money. From an outside
notice appears like unbelievable stupidity. It seems to be a boring, repetitious
and frustrating hobby at best. On a logical level we wonder why those
people haven't worked out that 'the house always wins'. The gambler loves
to dance around and brag concerning the times he did win even though we all see
that the final result's he has no home, no money staying with you along with a
huge unsecured debt. Yet, on a small winning streak he is able to be completely
oblivious to this fact. Without analyzing all of the complexities of the gambling
addiction, we can summarize it as being this: The gamblers belief in winning the large
the first is more than his belief within the reality of the items has happened, what's
happening and just what will predictably happen. In a nutshell, the dream is more
real than the reality.
The same can be said for drugs, alcohol, food, cigarettes, sex and all
addictions. The reality of an addicts life may be sheer devastation and yet
the belief that one more of whatever is going to be exactly what the dream expects itself to
Surely that a dream can hook right into a compartment within the mind
and become completely embedded. It is just like a sacred place and it contains
all we would like. It could be wealth, happiness, love, security or whatever. We
have the ability to desires so we all have dreams and we have the ability to a place in out minds
by which we live out those possibilities. The gambler may have originally
were built with a dream of a large win. He probably were built with a handful of good wins initially
and that reinforced the dream. Somehow though, the gambler became
addicted to the dream. The large win turns into a primary point of reference
as well as in time all experiences loop to that point of reference. That is, all
information and every experience gets filtered through the reference point.
Some label this classic denial. I call it 'The happy place'.
It seems impossible to speak logic or facts for an addict. They remove what
you say; they may make believe you listen, or they argue with you or blank you
out completely. Their eyes glaze over, their ears shut you out and you may
almost hear them singing lah, lah lah as you speak. They have attended the
This is probably familiar to those who have had a relationship with someone
using these major addictions. What is less obvious is the fact that most of us
are operating under a much the same pattern - and that's: Obsession.
Obsessions could be hidden or often seem harmless or perhaps a little quirky.
Another person's obsession may be boring to us, but we do not pay much
attention once we are rarely affected by these to any real degree. A lot of us
don't even know that we're obsessed. Yes, we all have our little happy
places so we all filter facts to match our delusions. But, for many people, we
are destroying our way of life or at least our potential lives.