Kid's Grades

7:42 AM - 10/27/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

Personalities

7:38 AM - 10/27/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Yuck...

11:50 AM - 10/26/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Halloween

10:16 AM - 10/26/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Good Deal

I am so passing my classes. I did my average check on my classes this morning and I am making B averages in each of them!!

The bad news:

I bombed so bad on the midterms.

I really thought I had done a good job but I guess I didn't study enough. I kinda did the "Whatever. I'll Pass" thing...Boy was I wrong!

And while I am ranting on and on:

D came by and said "S'up" to me. FOr you who don't know K&D speak that means "What ya wanna do? Be friends? More than friend? What?"

Well not this girl. I say "Nothing with you!" and (pat on back) go far away from him.

He is going to jail this Friday and he wants some from me....oh well! He better go look elsewhere, not this girl, not this time.

10:00 AM - 10/26/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

What is up?

This is the pic someone made for me!!! Kinda cool...

Anyways this is the kind of things that I have had going on in my life. I am so bored without the kids home during the day that I am looking for things to do. I just want to do SOMETHING!!! I do nothing for like 10-16 hours a day. The kids are not here for me to keep busy with. Don't have a guy here and Guage...well she sleeps so much that I just feel like I am all alone all the time. I was spending time with Angel but she is so sleepy now that she is closer to having the baby that I just dunno what to do. I can not believe there are so many new kids around. I am the only one not having a new baby. Gauge's mom found out she is having another in April. (And she says she is naming it Nirvana Rae) We will have a Nirvana Rae and Gauge Legend!!! What a retard!

9:51 AM - 10/26/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Fuck off

3:17 PM - 10/24/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Welcome

To the craziness of my life. Not today though. UH HUH no way. Today I managed to get all three kids asleep at the same time. Imagine that. Ya think my parenting skills are improving? Well I do. On top of that I have went from a C average to a B average in my classes so I must be doing something right, right?  Someone give me an answer please!!! Alrighty then...I am alone here. Well in that case I will pat myself on the back and say good job to myself.

3:12 PM - 10/24/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

Sundays

1:05 PM - 10/23/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

So where do I begin?

This has been one of the longest few days of my life. I am sure I am close to losing my mind. The car breaking down and the kids being absolutely crazy and the rest of the mess. I am just not sure what to do. And to beat it all I am in love with someone and can't do anything to see them or touch them or even speak to them. How is this possible? What do I do?

I have had one of the worst toothaches for the last few days. I have tried everything to make it go away and nothing is working.

I am so tired. I have been up since about 4 because of the toothache and I have got like three hours a day for the last few days.

I am just cranky!!!!!

6:14 AM - 10/22/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Bedtimes

I am sick of bedtimes. I wish I could just let them stay up all night and then they would sleep when they want to and that the whole world could all be just one big game. But it isn't like that and I have to pay the price of sleepy-time. They have big ole hissy fits and they cry and I want to pull my hair out because I just want five minutes of free time. Does that make me a bad mom? If it does I don't care because I need the five minutes. I mean I NEED IT!!!! The all day busy busy busy is enough to make a girl crazy and that is awful. I like being crazy but I also like being able to think without the "mommy mommy mommy" that I get every second of everyday!!! I am just so tired I guess and that tends to make me a little cranky to say the least. Well I guess it is off to the work that needs to be done. OMG it is already after 8 and nothing is done!!! I gotta get busy. I got to get it done before three a.m. or I won't get my needed three hours of sleep.

Would someone please give me a bedtime?

6:54 PM - 10/20/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

Me today

   This is the day I am sure my ANGEL side will show. I have missed being around my best friend for the last few days and I do not know how I am going to be able to get back ot seeing her but DANMMIT it is my duty to try to the best of my ability!!! I have missed writing here but with mid-terms and all I have been so busy. I am really not into this school year at all and I am slacking hard!!!! I got to get on the ball and soon... I mean the semester is half over and I am passing but it is a lot of guessing which is not going to help me with my finals I am sure. I am actually going to get started now. Thanks for the pep talk to myself.  

4:24 PM - 10/20/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Cool site I found!!!

Ok a little bit of a lie....i ran across it because it was pointed out to me in one of my groups but I thought it would be cool to share. It is a live cam of African animals. I mean it is an ongoing cam that is always showing animals at this pond in Africa. It is kinda cool and my kids love it!

Check it out some time!

http://www9.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/wildcamafrica/wildcam.html

4:07 PM - 10/20/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

A day in the life....

3:23 PM - 10/20/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Florida

7:37 PM - 10/10/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

So much to say

7:23 PM - 10/10/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Sleeping and not

8:33 AM - 10/9/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Avoiding

8:27 AM - 10/9/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

The seasons

9:25 AM - 10/8/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Isaiah is student of the month!!!

10:57 PM - 10/6/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Sad....

1. my best friend's husband is coming on to me. that is a bad bad thing. i can't say anything because.... well i don't know i just can't.
2. my other friend (and my best friend's sister) just had a baby and her boyfriend is doing the same thing. then i found out from a third source that he has been trying to pick up on another girl too. his reason "i ain't gettin none at home and won't be for weeks....gotta get it somewhere." wtf
3. i got an e-mail from my mom. (and get this) my twin sister is pregnant again with her fourth by the fourth guy in six years. my mom tells me this through an e-mail six weeks after everyone else knows. and the real kicker in the whole thing is that they live less than a half hour away. they couldn't call or come by....something to tell me. no they do it through a damn e-mail. i mean i was carried for nine months in a tight little space. we were born seventeen minutes apart. i saved her ass more times than i can count and have had my ass kicked quite a few for her. before the state took us away i got more than my fair share of beatings so she wouldn't have to. and i get a fucking e-mail!
4. they took my babies to florida for the weekend and i am so sad without them here. the idiot turns twenty-five tomorrow so they took them to see him. why do they always have to go to him? he is the one that left, not us. i just don't get how we always have to pay for the choices he makes. why does it always end up being him that has to "get his life together?" why did he wait until after he had kids to decide to do that? why is it always him who has to get on his feet before he help them when they are going without so he can by prostitutes?

10:19 PM - 10/6/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Psychology

8:24 AM - 10/5/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

A situation

7:44 AM - 10/5/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Have to add new entry real quick!!!

9:06 AM - 10/4/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Jimmy Lee

So here is one of the best guys  I know and it makes me sad he is in a relationship but there is nothing I can do about it. He has like 4 kids and that is just too much stress for me I believe. I mean that would be like 6 kids!!!! Could you imagine the stress from that? He has full custody of all of them so they would be full time kids too. WOW I know I couldn't handle it at all but it is nice to dream.

8:59 AM - 10/4/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Two papers

8:40 AM - 10/4/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

The party

8:32 AM - 10/4/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

The kids to the fair...

8:15 AM - 10/4/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Ok Here's the deal...

8:08 AM - 10/4/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Personality

8:53 PM - 9/30/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Catch up

8:32 AM - 9/30/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Clothes, thugs and the loony

6:12 AM - 9/28/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Yipee yeah...

5:50 AM - 9/27/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Ok what is going on....

8:56 PM - 9/26/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Wow not getting shit done....

8:25 AM - 9/26/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Days of the same- a case study of a student

8:09 AM - 9/26/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

What's up with the cheering?

7:51 AM - 9/26/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Way too early

1:49 AM - 9/26/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Need a drink?

LOL....this is how I feel on some days!!!

4:31 PM - 9/25/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Wakey wakey

4:17 PM - 9/25/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Isaiah

1:28 PM - 9/25/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

So much done, so much left to go

1:15 PM - 9/25/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

The kids and I

                   
So here we are....some of the cutest people in the world. I have got to get some new pics soon but the problem is I don't have a comp to load them up on. I will this week coming up and then everyone will be able to see how they have grown (and I have shrunk. I lost 65 pounds since January on the new cancer diet....lol)

6:34 AM - 9/25/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Men....ha!

6:11 AM - 9/25/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Kid Update

5:52 AM - 9/25/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

What a week!

5:35 AM - 9/25/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

School work

9:34 AM - 9/23/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Some more proverbs for everyone to think about

9:21 AM - 9/23/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Proverbs...

7:53 AM - 9/23/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Hurricanes and aftermaths

7:37 AM - 9/23/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Where to begin in the getting back....?

6:13 AM - 9/23/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Just Damn!!!

8:16 AM - 9/22/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

Grades

I got the grades for the semester and I did pretty good I guess. I made an A in my Philosophy class, a B in my Sociology class, and a C in Astronomy so I passed them all. That is the important thing I guess. I just wanted to make sure that I passed each class with good enough grades to have a decent GPA. I am taking the summer off so that I can spend time with the kids. Jamen is really excited about school next year and so am I. It is hard to believe that she is so big and that she is old enough to go to school but she is.

Anyways, I am just happy this day is close to being over. I am a sleepy girl and really want to take a nap but I can't yet!

2:38 PM - 5/9/2005 - comments {3} - post comment

Mother's Day

It really sucked! I don't mean the little sucked that you forget by next year....this is the kind of sucked that you will remember for the rest of your life. I got to spend a total of 10 whole minutes with my kids and on top of that, my mom disappears so no one can see her for mother's day. I mean not so much as a phone call!!!! So fuck her...I don't have the time or the energy to chase her down to tell her happy mother's day. I just thought as a mom she would want to see her kids for mother's day but nope. She would rather do who knows what with who knows who. And her babies (they are 11 and 13) had their feelings hurt because they had made stuff for her that they couldn't even give to her. It was just so incredibly rude on her part.

On the other hand, Isaiah made me a card and a picture frame with his picture in it at school. It was so sweet and now I have it hanging in the kitchen so I can see it all the time. He works so hard to make all these nice little things for me and I sure don't mean to take  them forgranted. I just miss him...the actual physical part of him and Jay being right here all the time. I know this too shall pass but it is taking damn forever!!!

11:21 AM - 5/9/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Tips on life from the little ones

Never trust a dog to watch your food - Patrick, Age 10.

When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents - Matthew, Age 12.

Wear a hat when feeding seagulls - Rocky, Age 9.

Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning - Stephanie, Age 8.

Don't flush the toilet when you dad's in the shower - Lamar, Age 10.

Never ask for anything that costs more than five dollars when your parents are doing taxes - Carrol, Age 9.

Never bug a pregnant mum - Nicholas, Age 11.

Don't ever be too full for dessert - Kelly, Age 10.

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him - Heather, Age 16.

Never tell your mum her diet's not working - Michael, Age 14.

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat - Joel, Age 12.

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mum when she's on the phone - Alyesha, Age 13.

Never spit when on a roller coaster - Scott, Age 11.

Never do pranks at a police station - Sam, Age 10.

Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving - Rob, Age 10.

Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mum told you to do - Hank, Age 12.

Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand - Molly, Age 11.

Listen to your brain. It has lots of information - Chelsey, Age 7.

Stay away from prunes - Randy, Age 9.

Never dare your little brother to paint the family car - Phillip, Age 13.

Forget the cake. Go for the icing! - Cynthia, Age 8.

Advice From Kids

Never pee on an electric fence. (Robert, 13)

Don't squat with your spurs on. (Noronha, 13)

Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. (Emily, 10)

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. (Taylia, 11)

Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. (Traci, 14)

Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers. (Mitchell,12)

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. (Andrew,9)

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. (Kyoyo, 9)

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. (Armir, 9)

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. (Kellie, 11)

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. (Naomi,15)

Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. (Lauren, 9)

Never try to baptize a cat. (Eileen, 8)

11:03 AM - 5/9/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

10 commandments of a teenager

10 Commandments Of A Teenager

1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (Why wait?)

2. Thou shall not do drugs. (Alcohol last longer)

3. Thou shall not steel from K-mart. (Wal*Mart has a bigger selection)

4. Thou shall not get arrested for vandalism. (Destruction has a bigger effect)

5. Thou shall not steel from thy parents. (Everyone knows grandma has more money)

6. Thou shall not get in fights. (Just start them)

7. Thou shall not skip class. (Just take the whole day off)

8. Thou shall not strip in class. (Hooters pays more)

9. Thou shall not think about having sex. (As nike sayz just do it)

10. Thou shall not help old ladies cross the street. (Just leave them in the middle)

11:02 AM - 5/9/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Children's thoughts

Children's Thoughts

When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell.
Veronica - Age 5

I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a lawn mower.
Steven - Age 11

I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died.
Timmy - Age 13

I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog. Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave away all of his stuff. Dog people sure don't have a sense of humor.
Bobby - Age 14

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
Brandon - Age 15

My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him.
Allen - Age 10

It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends.
Linda - Age 8

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Ricky - Age 7

Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote.
Anthony - Age 10

Home is where the house is.
Jenny - Age 6

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number.
Susan - Age 15

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there.
Chris - Age 5

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money.
Jason - Age 13

I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
Thomas - Age 13

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out.
Nancy - Age 6

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with!
Michael - Age 6

The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?"
Jay - Age 15

Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right?
Dennis - Age 15

I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he is a lousy singer.
Cynthia - Age 15

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started.
David - Age 15

10:59 AM - 5/9/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Kids thoughts on marriage and the like.....LOL

How Do You Decide Who To Marry?
(As answered by elem. school students)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10 - No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Kirsten, age 10 - Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10 - No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
Freddie, age 6 - You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Derrick, age 8 - Both don't want any more kids.

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Lori, age 8 - Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynette, age 8 - On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
Martin, age 10 - I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
Craig, age 9 - When they're rich.
Pam, age 7 - The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldnt want to mess with that.
Curt, age 7 - The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
Howard, age 8 - It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
Anita, age 9 - There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Kelvin, age 8 - Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.

10:57 AM - 5/9/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Kids say the cutest things.....What is love?

What Does Love Mean? ......From The Mouths Of babes

"Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way."

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

"Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no."

"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more."

"There are two kinds of love Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them."

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

"I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her."

"Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying."

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."

"Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."

"God could have said magic words to make the nails fall off the cross,but.............. He didn't. That's love."

"Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings."

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

10:56 AM - 5/9/2005 - comments {4} - post comment

Husband/wife jokes

There are three guys in a bar. Two are talking about the amount
of control they have over their wives. The third remains silent.
After awhile one of the first two turns to the third and says,
"What about you, what sort of control do you have over your
wife?" "Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and
knees."

His friends were amazed! "What happened then?" "She then said,
'GET OUT FROM UNDER THE BED AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!'"

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to
report her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a
description.

She said, "He's 35 years old, 6 foot 4, had dark eyes, dark wavy
hair, an athletic build, weighs 185 pounds, is soft-spoken, and
is good to the children."

The next-door neighbor protested, "Your husband is 5 foot 4
inches, chubby, bald, has a big mouth, and is mean to your
children."

The wife replied, "Yeah, but who wants HIM back?"

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After
his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease,
combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following,
your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and
make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious
meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't
burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't
discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress
worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several
times a week and satisfy his every whim." If you can do this for
the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain
his health completely.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife.

"What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied.

A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an Englishman on
an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began
discussing their home lives.

"Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman
bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she
told me how much she adored me."

"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian
responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and
told me she could never love another man."

When the Englishman remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked,
"And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"

"Once," he replied.

"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she
say to you this morning?"

"Don't stop."

10:45 AM - 5/9/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Crude kid jokes!!!!

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about
something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time
came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on
them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing
that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came.
Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of
chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well,
the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report,
so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period," reported Johnnie.
"Well I can see that," she said, "but what is so exciting about a period."
"Damned if I know," said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she
missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next
door shot himself."

The first grade teacher was starting a new lesson on
multi-syllable words. She thought it would be a good idea to ask
a few of the children examples of words with more than one
syllable.

"Jane, Do you know any multi-syllable words?"

"After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday."

"Great Jane. That has two syllables, Mon......day"

"Does anyone know another word."

"I do! I do!" replied Johnny.

Knowing Johnny's more mature sense of humor she picks Mike
instead.

"OK Mike, what is your word."

"Saturday." says Mike.

"Great, that has three syllables..."

Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says "I know a four syllable
word. Pick me! Pick me!"

Not thinking he can do any harm with a word that large the
teacher reluctantly says, "O.K. Johnny what is your four
syllable word?"

Johnny proudly says, "Mas...tur...ba...tion."

Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow,
Johnny. Four syllables! That's certainly is a mouthful."

"No Ma'am, you're thinking of 'blowjob', that's only two
syllables!"

A teacher was working with a group of children, trying to
broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their
eyes closed, they would feel objects from pumice stones to pine
cones and smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits.

One day, the teacher brought in a great variety of lifesavers,
more flavors than you could ever imagine. "Children, I'd like
you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the teacher.
Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of
cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher had them put
honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of the
children was stumped.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It's something your
Daddy and Mommy probably call each other all the time."
Instantly, one of the children spat the lifesaver out of his
mouth and shouted, "Spit 'em out, you guys, they're assholes!"

Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday
afternoon quickie with their ten year old son in the apartment
was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on
all the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into
operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he
said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few minutes passed.

"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out, "Matt's
riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."

Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" The startled
father asked.

"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.

10:43 AM - 5/9/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

What does your birthday mean?

 

Your Birthdate: April 4

Being born on the 4th day of the month should help make you a better manager and organizer. You may be more responsible and self-disciplined than you realize. Sincere and honest, you are a serious and hard working individual.   Your feelings are likely to seem somewhat repressed at times. The number 4 has something of an inhibiting effect on your ability to show and express affections, as feeling are very closely regulated and controlled. You are apt to be much more practical, rational, and conscious of details. There is a good deal of rigidity and stubbornness associated with the number 4.

7:33 AM - 5/7/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

The English Language

Why is the English language so hard? If this doesn't give you an insight, nothing will....LOL

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse
    more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead
    out.

6) Since there is no time like the present,
    he began to present the present.

7) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

8) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

9) There was a row among the oarsmen about
    how to row.

10) They're too close to the door to close it, as
were the other two there.

11) The buck does funny things when the does
    are present.

12) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a
    sewer line.

13) To help with planting, the farmer taught
    his sow to sow.

14) After a number of injections my jaw got
    number.

15) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I
    shed a tear.

16) I had to subject the subject to a series
    of tests

17) How can I intimate this to my most intimate
    friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in
hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or
French fries in France (Surprise!). Sweetmeats
are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
plural of booth beeth?  One goose, 2 geese.  So
one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that
you can make amends but not one amend. If you
have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of
all but one of them, what do you call it? Is
it an odd, or an end?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the
same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites? You have to marvel at the unique
lunacy of a language in which your house can
burn up as it burns down, in which you fill
in a form by filling it out, and in which,
an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers,
and it reflects the creativity of the human
race, which, of course, is not a race at all..
That is why, when the stars are out, they are
visible, but when the lights are out, they are
invisible.

And finally: Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with
"quick"?

7:31 AM - 5/7/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Getting rid of the stuff!

I am slowly selling all of the stuff I have in my house that I no longer need. I don't want it here anymore and there are so many people who are willing to buy it that I am going to have a big yard sale in the next few weeks to get this stuff out of the way. I sold one of the 5 tv's in the house to Jimmy, a friend of mine, last night just so it would be gone from here and I wouldn't have to worry about it being in the way any longer. I need to make a list of the other stuff I would like to get rid of and the stuff that I can trade off (like books) to get new stuff for. I feel so crowded and like I need to start over again. Ok maybe not start over again but get a new idea on life and start over fresh now that I am not thinking I may be dying. Isn't it funny, you think it is the end of your life, so you hang on to all of the junk that is here just so that it is still yours. No one wants to die without a thing, ya know what I mean. It was like the more I thought this shit was going to kill me the more I held on to the meaningless things and wanted them around. Silly, huh? Not anymore!!!! It is all going and going as fast as I can get it out of here. I want it to be in a new place with out having to be right under my ass all the time. I mean I have a shed full of stuff and a basement getting that way. I am going to sell it all and then save the money for my trip.WOW at the ideas I come up with when I am writing here. Not that it will get saved but it was a very good idea anyways. Ok well there are some more funny stuff and a few things I want to print off for mother's day.

7:19 AM - 5/7/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Done with classes

I have offically finished my first year of college and though I know my grades slipped a little at the end I believe I kept them up enough to pass. That means I will get the financial aid I need for next year and also that I can take my classes on line next semester without any problems. Both kids will be in school next year so I will be able to do it all during the day and maybe even get a part time job babysitting so I can have some of my own money coming in....how great would that be?! Next week I will finally know what the grades are so I won't forget to post them. I am just so excited about the whole thing. The only bad part is having to get the job like under the table so not to mess up my SSI. I may just try babysitting or something. I love kids as you can all tell and I love being able to love on the new babies so it would be a great thing for me. Besides that, all my friends are pregnant right now and they are to have their babies by the begining of school next semester. One of them gets post partum depression really bad after all her kids so I feel like I would have that one for a little while anyways.

7:12 AM - 5/7/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Back to the Doc.

I go back to the dr next Thursday and will get the results for the rest of the tests they have run on me. I feel like I have been run through the shredder and this is what has been spat out. Not a very good visual I assume but ya get the point! I am just so very excited that this will not ruin my ever closer trip to Florida and New York. The Dr said if I am healed in time and even if I was on chemo as long as it was like 2 days home then 2 days home, I could still go and he caould send a list of dr names with me just in case. I am excited. I tend to think if I leave this state the sickness will stay behind and allow for me to hang with friends and family for a little while without the pain and hospital visits. I know it is a crazy thought but it is mine and that makes it all the more inportant and believeable for me!

7:06 AM - 5/7/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Mother's Day

I am sure this is suppose to be one of the good holidays for women but it just seemss so depressing. I want to be able to have a day for mothers like me, but it shouldn't make you feel obligated to buy things for the people who birthed you, especially if they didn't raise you. I feel guilty that I don't want to get anything for my mom but at the same time my "mom" is in the ground too. I am starting to believe this is just another plot for Halmark to make money off of people! (Can ya tell I am cranky today?)

Anyways, the kids came over yesterday and I got to see them for the first time in a couple days. I was so happy to be able to love on them even if it was just for a minute.Of course Jackass the Ex just flops down on the couch where I am sitting and when I tell him that he can't do it because it hurts, he says he didn't realize that that side would hurt where I am! Um isn't the whole couch connected? Yes I believe so. So yes it would hurt no matter where you flop your tiny rear at......just stupid!

7:00 AM - 5/7/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Silly little facts

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as
a substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more
than seven (7) times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane
crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do
watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are
fifty (50) years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was
Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a
mustache.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by
eliminating one (1) olive from each salad
served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates
clockwise.
(Since Venus is normally associated with women
what does this tell you!)

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at
waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from>
dead skin.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of
lung cancer.

So did the first "MarlboroMan."

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

The three most valuable brand names on earth:
Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that
order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not
downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows
why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be
kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet
to avoid airborne particles resulting from the
flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room
now!)

Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first U.S.
president whose name contains all the letters
from the word "criminal." The second ?

William Jefferson Clinton
(Please don't tell me you're SURPRISED!?!!)

And the best for last.....

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(I know some people like that; don't YOU?)

1:11 PM - 5/5/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Daily Wisdom

DAILY BYTE OF WISDOM
 

"I think knowing what you cannot do is more important than knowing what you can do. In fact, that's good taste."
--Lucille Ball

1:10 PM - 5/5/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Humor (did ya miss me?)

The 10 First Date Commandments
 
1. NEVER, EVER HAVE SEX. Sex may sell -- but first-date sex sells you short.

2. DO K.I.S.S. (KEEP IT SHORT AND SIMPLE). Leave him wanting more, or leave him as soon as possible!

3. BE A GOOD LISTENER. He's flattered, you're informed!

4. DON'T TRASH-TALK YOUR EX. There's a fine line between love and hate, and for guys, passionate hate reads, "I'm still not over that X-man."

5. DON'T BE AN OPEN BOOK. If you want to be a must-read, don't offer up Cliff's Notes.

6. DON'T BRING UP THE "M" WORD. Don't bring up marriage on a first date -- and if he does? Brush it off with your "M" word -- "MAYBE someday ... when I've taken the time to find the right guy."

7. DARE TO HAVE SPARES. Dating is a numbers game: The more men you date, the better the odds are of meeting some really good eggs.

8. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. If he's creeping you out, take flight -- don't fight the feeling.

9. THINK FRIENDSHIP FIRST. If things don't work out, you end up with a new friend who may fix you up with someone who WILL work out.

10. HAVE FUN! Smiles. Laughter. Major turn-ons!

1:07 PM - 5/5/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Surgery and thank you's to my friends....

I had surgery yesterday and I am suppose to be in bed but it is so hard to just lay there all day and I wanted to get up and write a little and tell everyone what has been going on with everything.

Damn Cat I have missed you.....I feel like I have been gone forever and ever. I miss the funnies and the sarcasim.

Paul, thank you for all the thoughts and prayers. I think they are helping to keep my spirit alive along with the knowledge that it will all get better when it is suppose to be.

Lori, you never fail to be there when I need you (which still amazes me everyday). I love you more than words or actions can ever express. You will have to wait a few more weeks before you can kick my ass though (hahaha).

Dusty, I love you. I don't know what else to say other than that. I always have and always will. I guess we are just stuck together for all of eternity.

Ok on to the surgery. They removed two tumors, one the size of a man's fist that had caused my bladder, fallopian tubes, and utuerus to all be joined together. And the other was a cancer tumor from my cervix. The one on my bladder was caused by the fact that one of the clip from my tubal had come off and been inbedded in my bladder and a tumor formed around it. I have to wait until tomorrow to get the pathology results back and know what kind of cancer it is, but I am just glad that I will be able to pick up my daughter with no pain now. It will be wonderful!!! :)

9:21 AM - 5/5/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Doctor visits and way too much....

I feel as if I spend everyday at the dr office and I just don't want to do it anymore. I am tired and drugged most of the time and it is getting too tiring. I wish I knew what ot do and how to fix it. I want ot feel better.

Anyways, my son's stress level has went up so high that he is home from school because his whole body is covered in a rash. I hate that I have made him this way and that I don't know how to fix it. I have to take him back to the dr today and see what we can all do about it.  I wish that this all could get fixed and that we could all be alright with everything. I am just so confused.

I feel like this disease has made me, instead of me being me with a disease. I feel like I am now known for this instead of for me. That freaks me out a little too much.

11:05 AM - 4/26/2005 - comments {3} - post comment

Cancer Humor

Top Ten Reasons I Can't Be Sick Anymore

10. My cat and I have gotten too familiar. She has started using the toilet and I have started meowing.

9. Did you know when you are home all the time you can see pieces of dirt no one else can see?

8. Every bodily function you have chooses to dysfunction, but only when you are in public.

7. Your entire family becomes hyper-dysfunctional. Therefore, you must take care of them as well as yourself. I wonder if the psycho ward down the road has group rates

6. If you get sick, be prepared to give up your bed, as whoever comes to take care of you will find an immediate reason they cannot use your fold out couch, i.e. I can't get out of the bed, I am afraid of the cat, I am allergic to the cat, I am allergic to the material of the couch. In short, your couch has cooties.

5. Did you know that your fully functional kitchen now becomes totally ill equipped? Never mind that you are the one making the meals. My God, how did you live this long without knowing this?

4. True, your medicine says you shouldn't drive. But don't worry. You can be the designated driver and be on chemo too . . . your caretaker can wake you up . . . no problem. In the event you have a caretaker that will drive and has their own car, they will insist on driving yours just so you will never get your seats and mirrors back to the right place.

3. Be prepared for your caretaker to take over the television and the remote and sit on your bed (which is the sofa) until 3 in the morning. Your couch doesn't have cooties when they are watching TV. It's a miracle.

2. You know that book you bought to keep yourself busy so everyone else can watch television? Guess what, they need that too, to entertain themselves. Remember, you are sick, so you are entitled to no creature pleasures.

And the top reason you can't be sick . . .

1. YOU NEED TO GET LAID AFTER ALL THIS!!!!!

Ten Positive Things about Not Having Hair
- Emily Hollenberg, 4-year breast cancer survivor

10. Your hair never gets out of control.

9. You can save a lot of money on shampoo, hair cuts, perms, dye jobs and body waxing.

8. If you go to the bowling alley and there is a long wait for a lane, just put your turban on, place your bowling ball in front of you and charge for fortune reading.

7. If you walk through the airport without your wig and in your bathrobe, people will give you money. The best airport according to my sources is San Francisco.

6. The shower and the sink drains require a lot less Drano^TM. The need for rodding is completely eliminated.

5. You are happy to go to the show to see a hair-raising movie.

4. Your hair can keep your teeth company in the bathroom.

3. You can remove your hair when you weigh yourself.

2. People can see a strong resemblance between you and your new grandchild.

1. You can charge people $10 for rubbing your head. Remember when you were pregnant and total strangers would come up and pat your stomach... seriously, never talk about your hemorrhoids!!

10:29 AM - 4/22/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

Scared and running

I am the first person to say when I get scared, I will run away. If that means running to a new town or a new state or just running to hide by myself for a few days, I can do it and usually will do it. When I meet D, he told me stop running because you will always find yourself where ever you go, and that is true.So for the last two and a half years I have stayed put and gave up on the running. But in hte last few days, I feel it slowly creeping and I want to run. I want to take the kids and hide from all of the hurt and stress going on and maybe it won't follow us. Maybe cancer lives In WB but if I run to the 'Ville and hide in the thousands of people there it won't find us, but will find someone else more deserving. AAhhhh if the world and disease worked that way.

But really, who is deserving of a disease? The murderers and child rapists, maybe. Even then I would say that is a cruel and unusual punishment. But I mean, I have heard every excuse from this is God trying to show me something to this is just what happens to certain people. Really I don't care what the reason. I just want to know the kids are ok and that they are happy in their lives and that they always know I love them.

9:14 AM - 4/22/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

I have cancer!

Well it is offical! Today was the very first day as my life as a cancer patient. I am so calm. The effect hasn't kicked in yet, but when it does I feel for D. I can just see the breakdown up ahead.  But for right now I am making plans and goals and other things to make sure that the kids are taken care of and that we are all still a family for as long as possible. I know that cancer is one of the curable diseases and that is exactly what I keep thinking. But see, here is the negative....my mom's mom died of cancer a few years ago and she only had two weeks from the day she found out to the day she was dead. What if that is me? Will J remember me? Will Nick know that I didn't mean to bail? Will they both know forever that I love them?

Ok why all the negative, right? Well they found this a year ago but "misplaced" the info so it was a FULL year before it came to light. This stuff has been eating at my body for a year with me having no idea except for the large amounts of pain that kept being passed off as just other things. I mean as of yet we still do not know the full extent of the damage going on in my body. Who does that? What kind of doctor "misplaces" important pieces of info like cancer cells? That is the biggest pile of fucking bullshit I have heard to date!

I just cannot think straight. I want to cry and have the breakdown now but at the same time if I break down then the kids will too, and that would be bad.

But the thing is I am still not afraid of the dying. I am afraid of the kids being without me and me being without them. I am afraid it will hurt for a long time, and then finally after all the time and the pain and the stress on the kids it will kill me. But I did the smart thing. I got a will and a living will and I made all of the things known what and how and when things should happen. This is going to be exactly my choice. I will not be at the mercy of others. I will be and have exactly what I want up to the very last moment.

Sorry to anyone I didn't talk to directly to tell them. I apologize but I have to vent so here it is for the whole world to know.

Hug, Loves and all else

K

12:00 PM - 4/21/2005 - comments {4} - post comment

Wow I have been gone for a while

I feel like I am in this ever sinking hole and that I have forgotten how to get out of it. I am walking in the cloud of life without the slightest idea of where I am going or what I am doing at any given time. My kids are gone most of the time, without the slightest care in the world. D treats me like shit without the slightest care in the world.And I lay in bed all alone all the time worried out of my mind.

When did I give up on everything? When did it become such a big deal to get out of bed and say hi to someone? I just don't know what I am doing.

This weekend ended up with fights non-stop with D which sucks so bad. I don't want to fight with him anymore but I don't know what else to do to make him listen to me. I just want to know what is going on with him.

Well I have to take Nick to the denist in a little while and make sure it is all ok for him. I also have to go to B&L to see Jay. Shew what a long day and all I want to do is crawl back in bed and disappear.

6:31 AM - 4/19/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

For Cat....the Texan!

11:41 AM - 4/14/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Women's Dictionary

Dictionary for women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card

11:35 AM - 4/14/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Murphey's Laws of Love and Sex

Murphy's Love Laws

All the good ones are taken.
If the person isn't taken, there's a reason. (corr. to 1)
The nicer someone is, the farther away (s)he is from you.
Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
The best things in the world are free --- and worth every penny of it.
Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.
Nice guys(girls) finish last.
If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

Murphy's Laws of sex

The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex has no calories.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
No sex with anyone in the same office.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
A man in the house is worth two in the street.
If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
Virginity can be cured.
When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It is always the wrong time of month.
The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
The younger the better.
The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
Love is a hole in the heart.
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
Do it only with the best.
Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
Never say no.
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
Love comes in spurts.
The world does not revolve on an axis.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
"This won't hurt, I promise."

11:34 AM - 4/14/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Murphey's Law

MURPHY'S LAWS

Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Everything takes longer than you think.
Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong. Corollary: If there is a worse time for something to go wrong, it will happen then.
If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway.
If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop.
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Mother nature is a bitch.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.
Every solution breeds new problems.

11:33 AM - 4/14/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

State Mottos (Funny)....LOL!

Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: Yes, But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than
Your Honda

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys
Don't Own It Yet

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Home of the headless drivers

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To
Mainland Scum,
LeaveYour Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're
Not, But The
Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But
That's Our Tourism
Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's! (For
Most Tax
Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000
Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars Hard
At Work

Montana: LandOf The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing
crazies, and
Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer
##$%##! Motto right
here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You
Have The Right To
an Attorney .

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: Home of Lake Erie and the Mistake By The Lake
(Cleveland)

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't
Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The EdjucashunState

Texas: Si' Hablo Ingles

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw
Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men .... and the sheep are
scared!

7:27 PM - 4/13/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Liquid pain killers

I have never taken a liquid pain killer at home. Now I have taken liquid IV pain killers but these at home ones are a lot different. I am not sure that I like them. I am walking in the biggest fog but not very sleepy. It is a good little feeling that I could so get use to. Not that I am going to. We only have ten more days of meds and then on to phase two of the whole being sick thing. But I do not know what phase two is yet. I want it to be over over over, but I am sure that it will last as long as it is suppose to. It is all part of some big plan that I have no idea about. (Sounding like anyone Paul?)

Anyways I just wnated to tell you if I reamble about things or my spelling gets really bad, that is what is going on.

1:46 PM - 4/13/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Went to the doc

So I went back to the doctor today, and for the first time I am scared. I am scared of what to think what to say to the kids what is going to happen. I want to talk to them about it, but I don't know what to tell myself yet so I sure don't know what to tell them. I want to tell them everythign will be great mommy is just a little sick and the doc is going to fix it, but what if that isn't true. What if it doesn't end up ok? What if I end up way sicker? What if I have to go in to the hospital again for a few days and there is no telling? Damn I am scared (shhhhh don't tell anyone. I am the strong one around here you know.)

1:27 PM - 4/13/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

5 year olds and dope

A five year old told my darling little angel about dope. I mean dope as in pot not meth, crank or crack. But still, same panic is setting in in me. I do not know what to tell my son about it, or why people do it. I have always been a very open parent but this is the one thing he didn't come to me about. Now I am worried about the other things in his life he isn't going to come to me for. I am worried what ideas he is getting about it or from others about it, but when I ask him he says he doesn't want to talk about it. He is only three years younger then me the first time I smoked a cigarette and only 5 away from the first time I tried pot. I am just worried that he is going to get the wrong idea that it is cool and I am going ot have to kill him and his little friends. well I know the right thing to do is to sit him down and make him talk to me, but that is the wrong idea to give him. I want him to come to me in his own time and not think I am pressuring him. But what if he doesn't? What if he never asks? What is the "right" thing to do?

Well to the best of my knowledge I am going to give him a couple more days. If he comes to me we will talk. If  he doesn't come to me, I will start asking questions. He may not tell me a lot but he will let me in a little which is all I want.

1:15 PM - 4/13/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Termites

My house is being eat from the inside out by termites. I figured out yesterday when what I origionlly thought were overgrown flying ants attacked my walls. Then D the brilliant man, says, "Hey babe? Them there are termites..." (That is exactly what he said, he is a little country at times.) So now we have to get the bug guy to come do the spray thing but they have been there for at least a year, so it may be bad. Millions of little bugs living in my walls and I am creaped out. I mean all I can think of is little bugs eating me alive or my house falling around me. It is going to be bad bad bad I can tell!

1:06 PM - 4/13/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

I told Lori

And she said I am to come to her house when this surgery is done. I am suppose to be in bed for 6 weeks which means that I would have to go there. If not I will be up doing doing doing, because the kids are here. She was really good and upbeat about it, but I could tell she wasn't really meaning it. She was so worried underneth, but refused to show it to me. She said it will be my job to just lay in bed and eat like crazy. She was just so funny about it. But I know we are both thinking the sooner the better. If I wait I will never make it to New York and I will also just be worried for longer which is no good for either of us. We are the kind that like to know then fix it now, not plan it for weeks later. We go in, they say we need to do something, and then we are ready to get it done in a half hour. Just need long enough to get the kids where they are and tell my girl to be on her way. That is the extent of the whole ordeal. I just wnat it to be done just that quick.

I am so tired right now but I have so much to say. I have the feeling it will have to wait until tomorrow before I get them wrote. I just wanted to write about Lori before I forgot (the meds make me a little out of it!).

7:36 PM - 4/12/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

D and the cops

So D decided it would be in our best intrest to go to the park, so we go. Well on the way there, this cop gets behind us and is calling in D's tag. His car is like crazy loud and he shouldn't be out in it but he does anyways, and my car is out of gas so I wasn't going ot drive. Anyways he doesn't have a DL so I was sure we were all going ot go to jail. He whips his car over in to a store, right in front of a truck. Well tghe cop turns on his sirens and I was super sure we were all going to go to jail then. Well the cop just keeps going but I was scared out of my mind! He didn't get us that time but it is just a matter of time before they do. That was the first time I have ever rode in his car and know I definately know I will never do it again.

7:27 PM - 4/12/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Up again....

I swear I am so tired all of the time. I took about a two hour nap and then TRIED to eat, but it didn't work. So now I am back here with not a lot to say but I am just staying here because there is nothng else to do. I was going to go over and see the kids, but I am out of gas in the car. And I was going to clean the house, but I don't feel like it so I am not doing it!

Anyways, it has been hte most unsuccessful day. I have done absolutely nothing and plan on doing um.....well absolutely nothing. I am sure there is something that I need to be doing but what is the fun in that? There isn't any so I'm not doing it. I think I am going to look at some things and post them but that is about it....

Ok be back in a little while!

12:03 PM - 4/12/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Heath and Age

I did a test that is suppose to figure out how heathy you are and your age and life expectancy

First I am 24....just turned 24 a few weeks ago. So lets so what they test says........

Age: 24

Typical life expectancy for my habits: 74

My life expectancy: 61

My Health Age: 37

Wow I ain't got long....LOL! It says I should change things and get a better diet and exercise, like running after kids all day isn't exercise! But 37, now that I can agree with...at times I feel that old.

8:10 AM - 4/12/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Remember when...

This is the game I play with D all the time but now I guess I am going to play it with you.

Do you remember when phone calls were just a dime?

I do. We didn't have a phone or a car  when I was a child so we would walk to the pay phone at the end of the road. When we got there Gramma would give me a dime to go buy candy and then she would call my grandmother to come get her and take her to the grocery store. I would go in to the store to get candy, where the man in there knew me by my name and would always give me an extra piece of candy. That was also the same store my best friend, at the time, her brother got shot outside of that store by a gang because he was wearing the wrong color.

Do you remember when you didn't have to worry about locking your door?

Yep. We would come to TN in the summer and no one ever locked their doors here. I was fascinated at how nice everyone was her compared to where we lived in Connecticut.

Do you remember when it was abnormal to see a teenager with a baby?

When I was young, if you had a baby early and you were not married it was a big family secret. My mom didn't raise me because of that secret. Who would have thought in a small 15 years it would be one of the most common sites in any town?

Do you remember when "good music" was something you could still understand the words to?

My mom used to dance in the living room with my dad to all of this 80's music, and though a lot of it was rock, there was no guessing at what the words are. Now that I am older I thing our brains work faster now, because I get rap music but my mom has no idea!

Do you remember when gas was less than a dollar?

When my son was born gas was 87 cents a gallon. In seven years it has went up here by $1.55. That is a lot. And it will go up a total of  38 cents this month alone......hmmmm.

Do you remember when Michael Jackson was still black, before he didn't "didn't have any plastic surgery?"

Yeah, and boy I idolized him. when I was young and I mena like 4,5,6 young, I thought he was the coolest little guy. Now look at him...molesting kids....uh uh uh.

Do you remember when Smurf was the cartoon?

Just so ya know it still comes on Wenesday mornings on Fox. I use to love that cartoon but now that I watch it, I won't let me kids see it. I mean watch it sometime and see how much more vulgar it is, or well how much more vulgar you know it is than you did at 7 years old.

Do you remember when people said hi, or waved as they went by?

Nope but I lived in the North. People didn't do that. Now they still do here but I don't believe they ever did where I grew up.

Do you remember when Tupac got killed?

YES....and it was so sad. I was just heart broken for weeks! I mean it was so sad and I was pregnant and sitting in a class room when my sis and our best friend came into the room and told me....so what did we do? We left school and went to her boyfriend's house where thye smoked pot until I thought they were going to die and listened to every 2pac CD we owned.

Do you remember when your grandparents would tell you the stories of their lives?

Gramma gave me the picking cotton stories and the walking in hte snow sotries. That is the one thing I miss now that she is gone. I think she was trying to tell me some thing, but I missed it.

Do you remember when you first realized when you weren't going to live forever?

I was six, but I was more tore up wit hthe fact that if I was going to die than so was Gramma. I mean that was also the first time I realized she was "old" (she was 87) and she was going to die sooner than I had previously realized. I was tore up for a good week then Gramma said "Not until it is time" and that was the end of that.

Do you remember when everything seemed so new and that the world was perfect?

When I was young I thought that everything was good. I never realized people were hungry and that there were people who lived in boxes and that people killed their babies. I just thought it was all great and would always be that way.

Do you remember when the only people that had computers were the ones that we rich?

Yep. I didn't think people would every just have computers in their homes. I thought it would always be that people would have to be rich and important and now it is like almost everyone has one.

Do you remember when you had the first away from your parents experience?

I was 12 before I ever left Gramma. I went to a group home. That is where I lived until I got pregnant with my son and moved out on my own. Up until that group home, Gramma needed me, but once she was gone I rebelled like crazy. I mean rna around like crazy. Up until that point I was a good girl!

7:28 AM - 4/12/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Sick

Ok so the dr called last night to give me the results of the tests I had done a few weeks ago. I have issues to say the least but don't want to go in to them until I know for sure what they are and how to fix them. I am not really scared but I know my kids are. I get so tired so easy now and the kids are worried that I am really sick! Then there is the fact I am not allowed to pick up the baby, which is hard on her because she is still really babied by me (she is my very last baby, ya know). I am also losing weight, which I just chalked up to the fact I wasn't really hungry lately, which is true but the thing is this whole thing is causing it.So now I am weak on top of the rest of it. I don't really know how this will end up but I am convinced that it won't end up as bad as the dr made it sound like. Other than that we still have a lot of test and things left to do before we know for sure and I am sure not going to scare anyone more than I have to without knowing for sure. I just felt the need to write it down. I cannot tell Lori yet because she will worry and I sure can't tell D because he is a guy who doesn't get girl stuff at all! As for my mom and such as that, they knew I went in for them but they haven't bothered to make the phone call to check on me at all (what did I expect?) so I am just not going to call her. She will say it is nothing and make it way smaller than it is may be, just because it may take the attention off of her for the slightest second.

Ok well I need to get on some other stuff I was planning ot do right now and I am starting to get tired again, so I should hurry and get it done.

6:36 AM - 4/12/2005 - comments {4} - post comment

New York

I am going to New York the first week in July and am so excited.....I can not wait to go "home" for the first time in a few years. I know this may also mean blowing off the trip to Flordia but I have to go see some so-called family.I haven't seen all of them since 2001 and some of them I really want to see. It will be great!!!

The dreaded part of it is that it is a 15 hour drive. That means a long time in the damn car. And of course my friend Aaron is worried so he got me a cell phone to take with me. He doesn't want me to be stuck somewhere. This is the first planned trip I will make in a long time. Most of the time I get in the car and go, where ever whenever I feel like it I just pack up the stuff and go on a road trip. But this time it gives me months of planning, and I am not sure it is better. Actually I think it may be worse. I have to sit for three damn months and think of what exactly it is that I need to take with me and how and when to stop. Usually I just want to go, not think about it.

6:29 AM - 4/12/2005 - comments {0} - post comment

Are you afaid of dying?

Ok I know a little weird...but the land lord asked me this when D had the brilliant idea of telling him that I don't believe in God or the whole religion thing. The land lord is an 80 year old man for one, and we live in the so-called Bible Belt for another. The combo of the two made me seem like I was very close to the devil for this. My landlord isn't the only to think this.....

Anyways he asked me and I said no. Well he asks if I was scared of my kids dying and again I say no, I am scared of them being hurt but not dying or being dead. I, in turn ask him the same and he says yes, so I ask why? I mean if you believe in GOd and you are sure you are going to heaven why be scared. Well he wasn't sure why he was, he just was.

So now I ask you all....Are you scared of dying? Why/why not? I mena if you believe in Heaven and are sure you are going there, why be scared? If you believe in heaven but are messing up, why not fix it now? If you don't believe then you have nothing to worry about, right, so why be scared?

6:49 PM - 4/11/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

Grades on my papers!

So I got the grades back on my papers today and yipee!!!!! i made an 86 on my philosophy paper (which is a B) and a 89 on my Sociology paper (which is one point away from being an A) I am super impressed with myself. I mean I am walking around like the big shit, but the big shit will have a big stink some day. So let me not over-gloat. Just gloat enough for me to be proud and then I will leave it alone. I am an A-B student and I know it, but it makes me happy that I remember something after all these years. I mean I spent forever out of school and to go back and make good grades are impressive to me (and others I will assume.).

OK I passed on the good news....now it is on to the bath time ofr the kids. I have to make sure they smell as good as they look. They are mine and that means that it is my job.v So talk later K

4:00 PM - 4/11/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Books

3:51 PM - 4/11/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Goodness what a day....

Can you believe it is still morning?! I mean I feel as if I have been up for hours and it sure should be nappy time but no....it is 11:30 and lunch isn't even for another hour. I swear I have seen enough cartoons this morning that I could sing all the theme songs for you. I mean watch this

"Dora dora dora the explorer....."

Ok well maybe I need the theme music to go with it LOL. But wait I can do the Winnie the Pooh song

"Winnie the pooh, winnie the pooh a cuddley little bear all stuffed with honey....winnie the pooh winnie the pooh."

Pretty good, huh? OK too much time on my hands. I need to get out more.

*~*~*~*~ OH I forgot to tell ya! I got a new hair color again.....this one not so pink! Have to  get a new pic for you...~*~*~*~*

Bird is I mean REALLY watching the tv. She is just not even blinking. I never realized she liked little bill so much! But I guess she does. I love when we sit in the smae room and watch the cartoons together and then she gets up and does all the little dances. It is so sweet.

Sai has a field trip to the space museum next week and I am suppose to be a chaperone but that is so not going ot happen. I mean me him 20 classmates and the bird in a place with breakable stuff? Not a good idea!

10:45 AM - 4/11/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Good Morning Smileys

Good Morning Smileys Mornings can be such a drag
	G is for the good smileys who woke up smiling
	O is for the other smileys who we will cheer up!
	O is for ordinary smileys
	D is for the smileys who shouldn't have drank last night
	M is for many people who are becoming smileys
	O is for the smileys who are outside exercising this early
	R is for all the smileys who rolled out of bed
	N is for naughty smileys who have to hide
	I is for irritating smileys who never stop talking
	N is for nutty smileys who always try to have fun
	G is for the grin on your face now

9:44 AM - 4/11/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

I love it

I love that people have opinions. I even love that people use what I say to make them think of stuff. I am not an important person on a global scale by any means, but I am bigto my kids and to my friends and apparently big enoughto the ones who read what I write and have to comment on it, who have to make their own blog posts about it or what ever little thing it causes them to do! That is great. I love how words are passed and changed and made our own, though they are never really our own. I can read what someone writes or does and talk about it and then in turn somone else talks about what I write and on and on. I think it is wonderful. One of life's little quirks that amuse me to no end. ( ok I am easily amused I know)
I even love the comments I get, whether they be positive or negative. I love to know what others think about what Isay. If it is negative I think that is something they thing I need to work on, if it is good I think well they agree with me. Sorry to say, most likely it will not change me, though at times some have made me think and redo what I say to be nicer because I was more harsh than I realized. I want to thank anyone who reads me and goes on to pass the word on to others. I want to thank anyone who reads me and goes on to bitch about it. And yet again I want to thank anyone who reads me and just accepts me because it is me!!!!! (Ya know who you are, *giggle giggle* Cat) At times you may not like it, agree with it, or even want to read it, but you keep coming back for more. It's all gravy baby.....

Hugs loves and all the sticky sweet stuff

K

PS

This is not directed at anyone.....my website had a comment on it and I wanted to comment on it......so if you feel this is directed at you think if you have been to my home page.....if you haven't, then most likely not about you .....if you have, well then it might be LOL

8:39 AM - 4/11/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

Truths of life

25 Truths of Life:

---

1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it!

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

8:19 AM - 4/11/2005 - comments {1} - post comment

25 things you don't hear in the South

1. Let's wash the car.

2. Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?

3. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

4. You can't feed that to the dog.

5. That's enough ketchup on those eggs.

6. No kids in the back of the pickup!

7. Wrasslin's fake.

8. That Civil War documentary was excellent.

9. That aroma? I'm baking fresh bagels.

10. I've got a problem with people who still fly the Confederate flag.

11. Here are my keys, I'm too drunk to drive.

12. Baby... Those jeans are too tight.

13. Don't tie it on top of the car.

14. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

15. Trim the fat off that steak.

16. Why'd you cut the sleeves off your t-shirt?

17. Don't spray primer there...

18. Put that dog on a leash!

19. New York City's an ideal place to vacation.

20. My mobile home is clean AND storm proof.

21. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

22. I wouldn't drive an American make if you paid me.

23. I ain't riding with you unless both headlights work.

24. It's January, take the Christmas lights down.

25. Checkmate!

8:15 AM - 4/11/2005 - comments {2} - post comment

What men really mean

WHAT HE REALLY MEANS

"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."