Being

People in general have issues and that is one of the things I love about the world. I love the fact that people are who they are. What I do not like is fake ass people. People who make up shit to impress me or to be my friend. I like people for who they are, for the fact they are happy to be themselves. I can never do that. I am always what people want me to be. I am happy when I am suppose to be, I am sad when I am suppose to be, I am smart when I am suppose to be.  Here I am just myself. And everyday I am learning more and more  to be me outside of here. This is my therapy. This is the me I want to let out on the world for no other reason than the fact I am a good person.

So what if my mom doesn't like me? She likes people who are weaker that her, and I am by no means weak nor will I ever be. And my sister? She will always be stuck in the rut of playing weaker so my mom will accept her. Lori? Well she knows it all and has seen more than she cares to, yet she knows me for me and she loves me for it (or in spite of it). And D?? Well he's D....who ever knows what he thinks or cares about!!! But I know he stays around, and refuses to leave even though I try to make him go away so I must be doin something right.

Cat....Paul? I am good enough right? Just being me is good enough for you, right?

Screw it! I am good enough for me......

6:48 PM - 4/5/2005 - post comment

Hey Kay

Haven't posted lately my internet was down... I guess that happens when you get behind in payments. :) If you think/know you are good enough, you need no support from me. I'll never be in a position to know ever if you are a good person, that's between you and your Creator. Nothing to do with me. From the little I've gotten to knw you from what you've written, I'd say you are giving your life one hell of a chance. Never stop searching for yourself. An interesting note: I know that I cannot get into heaven(yes I believe in that place) for just being good... I had to get into a place of believing in and making a part of me, my Lord Jesus Christ, and believe that He died for me in substitution for sin, AND rose from the dead 3 days later. Worldly wise it sounds CRAZY, but that begins with faith. I know my nature is not to be nice (humanity also), but I know who I am in Christ. My identity is not just me, but me AND Jesus together... and together I will always be victorious. I don't win every battle but I know who wins the war. Give my love to the kids and hug yourself 2x... Paul

graceandpeace - 6:54 AM - 4/6/2005

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