A story about love...

I did not talk to my friend yesterday so I didn't know how she was doing when I posted the message yesterday. Well early this morning she calls (and I mean early. Like the ass crack of dawn). He had just left for work and she was so happy I thought she may implode from pure happiness. Ok let me tell you what happened.

OK to start out with I gave her some not-so-good advice the other day but I didn't know what to tell her. When She asked for my opinion a few days ago, I asked her if she had tried to REALLY talk to him. I mean without them getting mad and him storming off and her crying in the phone to me. She said she had but that in the end, it ended up just like I said. So I told her, and this is the bad advice though it worked, get drunk and just really tell him. I know the girl, and she is too chicken shit to say ALL that she feels when she is sober. She will get half way through and get self-consious and that is the end of that. She gives in to whatever he says so he doesn't get mad (he has a bit of a temper and though it has been over a year since her hit her and he has been through therapy for anger, she still gets worried. Who can blame her really!) Well anyways, I guess she finally did it.

Here is her story:

So she got drunk and of course ended up just blurting the stuff. She told him that she drove for hours today (which she does when she is upset or needs to think) and everywhere she went it was like she saw pieces of him. She saw this beautiful log house with a small waterfall in the front yard and all she could think was "? would like this." Well later down the road it got more and more country and all she could think was "? would love to live out here." She told him, "No matter where I go I think of you. I can not escape you. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. But I feel like I am losing you and I don't know what to." Well to this he replies, just like always "I am right here." * He always says that to her. She will tell him even though he is in the house it is like she is all alone becase he doesn't seem like he is there.* Anyways, she tells him, "No you are not. Your body is here but the part of you that use to look at me and see me is way gone somewhere else and I want to be where ever it is with you. Please just talk to me. Just let me in. If you don't love me, or you love someone else just let me know. I just cannot live like this anymore. I feel like I see you but I cannot reach you. You are untouchable." And she said the look on his face was enough. The man had gotten so wrapped up in working his way to the top, and the kids, and the stuff that he needed to do for his car, that he didn't realize how much he was hurting her. He actually believed he was helping them by trying to do the "manly" stuff and make more money and fix their cars, that he thought he was doing the right thing. He didn't realize she would give all that up and live in a box to be with him and them both be happy! She said for the first time in weeks he acually saw her and realized that that this was the woman he was in love with. He said to her, "I wasn't seeing you as you. I saw you as someone different. But you really are the same woman that stuck with me when I did the dumb stuff and almost killed you. You just got right back up and hugged me and said we will get through this together. And we did. I didn't see you were the same one who came and bailed my sorry ass out of jail and just said we will get through this together. And we did. Now I am telling you I fucked up again and I will make sure we get through this together. I just thought I needed to be more for you, to make you happy. I thought I needed to show you I wasn't all those bad things I did any more." Then he said the best thing she has ever heard, "You didn't need more, did you? I am good for you no matter who I am and you are just here to love me. I almost fucked that up, didn't I?" She was so happy he finally got it!!! He now sees that she just loves HIM not his job, car, friends, the stuff he does for the kids. All she wants from him is for him to touch her, love her, and be part of who she is. And he got it.

So, in all he realized what he was losing and she said he made love to her for the first time in days. Actually looked at her and saw who she was while making love to her, instead of making it seem like she is something to pass the time. Well than he asked her to come out and have lunch with her yesterday, which she did, and he introduced her to all of his friends. (All of this happened Monday and yesterday) Well than last night, he came home earlier and took her out to dinner. He also made love to her again, this time it was sweeter and longer than she could ever remember it being. He is finally trying to make it work. And she told him what a good job he was doing. He is one of those, well like everybody really, who has to be told he is doing a good job or he will give up. And she said for the first time in 9 months they fell asleep together, naked with their skin touching and her in his arms.

So I guess it paid for them to both be honest and open with each other. And the moral of the story is that you cannot expect people to know you love them if you don't tell them. And that you cannot expect people to know you are hurting if you do not make them sit and listen to you. People are not mind readers and they are not sure a lot of the time. The only way to make a relationship work is to make the effort. Now I do not know if this is going to last forever or if it is a short lived victory for both of them, but I do know for the time being she is happy and he is too and that he is taking her on a date tomorrow night, which they haven't ever done, so maybe it will work. Either way I love you girl and even you Mr. ? and for the sake of you and the kids I hope it works out. You may restore my faith back into relationships.

6:42 AM - 4/7/2005 - post comment

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Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33 NASB

However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. Ephesians 5:33 Amplified Bible

Interestingly enough your friends are doing exactly what the Bible says husbands and wives should do... are they married?... Wives need love, men in return need respect even over love, don't get me wrong we want love too but we need respect and acknowledgment first.

Hugs Kay... and by the way I liked the facts about you and the kids. Luv Ya Paul

graceandpeace - 8:05 AM - 4/7/2005

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awwww!!!!

They might restore MY faith in relationships too!! And who ever said its bad to get drunk and share all of your deepest feelings? LOL!
~Blessed Be~ MisCatt

MisCatt875 - 11:36 AM - 4/8/2005

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