Who says being slimmer will always make any girl look even more beautiful?
 Alright, let's recap a little:
 I'd been fat since I was a child. It got worse during my teenage years. (Ha! No wonder.) My height just stopped at 5'05 ft. For an Asian girl that short, my heaviest weight back in high-school was: 185 lbs. Go figure. I didn't know that I'd also had over-eating disorder back then, although many people had told me that I'd have eaten like a hog. Five big meals in a day! Imagine that. Having an always taller, slimmer, and (more) popular older sister didn't give me much help. (I know, it's never her fault that she's always been that lucky. Her only minor visible flaw is a sign of scoliosis that runs in the women in our extended family.) I was convinced by the whole situation that no sane schoolboys would ever date me. So, I've become a tomboy to cover up my insecurity.
 (Although, I was also grateful and happy enough when most of my high-school classmates had voted me as The Senior Prom Queen before graduation, mostly because they'd been amazed with my new, unusual feminine look that night. Hehe.)
 Luckily, my weight slowly dropped during college years. 165 lbs. (Not bad, huh?) I also stopped doing the crash diet, because it had landed me in E.R. once on the second year of high school. But still, I couldn't shake off my insecurity. I hid my body in oversized T-shirts and jeans. Although I didn't want to deal with stupid diet pills anymore, I still couldn't resist temptations (and also seeking temporary solace during stress) in college's cafeterias and restaurants in malls. Once again, I amazed people with my bad eating habit. My concerned friends thought I was actually more of a nervous wreck on the inside. Anxiety disorder? I'm afraid it might've been that. I love rock music. I still...err, bite my fingernails. I used to pull my hair-strands, but now I often wear my bandanna to avoid doing that again.
 So far, writing's always been my best self-therapy.
 When my first love --- handsome gothic-prince Joza Bayu Kusumo --- started dating a girl (and finally is with Sasha now), I'd been emotionally crushed. I'd never told him my real feelings, though, because we'd been best friends already and I was afraid he might've disliked me for that. (Nonsensical? If you're living in my hometown, you'll get to understand more that girls who make the first move are still considered 'too aggressive' here.*sighs*) I couldn't get over him for three years.
 Since then, the internet's become my escapade. I thought I could never fall in love again, until I started getting to know Tiger...online. Of all of the guys I've ended up falling for, he's been the one to make me feel truly beautiful. Can you ever blame me for always loving him this much?
 *deep sigh*
 Anyway, after college graduation, I started taking aerobic classes and food-combining (not diets anymore!) Although the aerobic classes only lasted months, I still enjoy long-walks and eating sensibly. Thank God.
 And now I'm still 132 lbs. Aside from feeling healthier, happier, more confident, and less sick with myself, I also have bad news. First, I notice that I have a more, visible sign of scoliosis as well. Second, I'm afraid I might have to wear braces on my upper teeth as well, because I've had people tell me that my teeth look much bigger and out of proportion since I've become slimmer.
 Damn.

 The Author