KEEPING MY SANITY - MY TOP THREE, MOST FREQUENT NIGHTMARES:- JournalHome.com

KEEPING MY SANITY

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I believe that many people have reasons why they write in diaries/journals/blogs.:P Hey, I can even list some of those here pretty easy: 1."I just love writing. It's my hobby." 2.I think too much. If I don't do something really constructive and productive about it, I am afraid that my poor head will soon explode!*big evil grin* 3."I write better than I talk, and I don't feel like wasting other people's precious time listening (and waiting impatiently) to my stutterings. That's awfully embarrassing!" 4."Not everybody in the world can always accept brutal honesty. That's what I am truly aware of." 5."I feel that the world is slowly lacking sympathy.:( Still, you know what to do when nobody bothers to at least spend a little time to listen to your problems." 6."I can be my own heroine in my own storybook!";D 7.... ...and the list could go on forever. However, I'd like to sum it all up with my own reason these days: "This is my way of keeping my sanity." ......................... *big evil grin* Yes, people. That's right. I am seriously addicted to writing. This has been my therapy. You may and may not like what I write in here. That is truly up to you. Besides, I am just here to present my point of view. So, welcome to my world. The Author

MY TOP THREE, MOST FREQUENT NIGHTMARES:

10/7/2007

1.Having my teeth fallen off, with my gums all bloody and gory-looking (plus, the taste of my own acid blood in my mouth --- in the dreams!:O)

This is the kind of nightmare that I've been having a lot (like what I've recently told you.:|) In those dreams, I always have the fear of opening my mouth, after realising that my teeth have fallen off. I see them like little white marbles clinking against the floor, each a little smeared with my blood.*shudders* Scary.:(

2.Anything related to...dangerous waters!

This is actually kind of funny, because --- I'm not exactly aquaphobic.:P I love swimming (although I'm not really good at it.) But I've had scary dreams about me and the dangerous waters.(??)

The very first that I ever had was back in middle school. I saw my best friends --- Neda, Puchi, Novi, Yanti, Dian, and Hanne --- and I on some beach under a sunny sky. The sea was calm. We were in our swimsuits, building a large sand-castle while giggling cheerfully. Then suddenly, the sky went dark. I heard a loud, thunderous growl nearby and quickly looked up. To my horror, gigantic waves were crashing and heading faster at us --- all sky-high and menacingly dark. My friends and I quickly abandoned our sand-castle and ran for our very lives.
That was long before the tsunami hit The Southeast Asian countries --- including mine, specifically in Sumatra Island on December 26, 2004.:( It still felt like yesterday.
And since then, I haven't visited the beaches. Am I actually afraid? I don't know. These days, I'm hardly sure of my own feelings.*shrugs*
Mostly, other water-related nightmares were about me drowning or even being forcefully drowned by a pair of mysteriously invisible hands pressing my head downward. Once I woke up strangely choked up and coughing. Another dream I've also often had was seeing my own dead body underwater. My face was pale and lips were blue, like an ugly wax doll. But strangely, I'd looked peaceful --- as if I was only asleep.

3.Punching the high, thick red brick walls that surround me (until my knuckles are all bleeding and I find myself screaming and crying in pure rage, fear, and frustration, but the walls stay up!:|)

Worst of all, I was always all alone in that dream.:( Since I'm claustrophobic (unfortunately, yes :|), that symbol in my dream does make sense. It truly describes my fear of being forever locked up and feeling completely helpless and powerless --- from the walls with no doors and my failed attempts to break them down.