KEEPING MY SANITY - A SILENT PRAYER FOR TIGER AND ME :)- JournalHome.com

KEEPING MY SANITY

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I believe that many people have reasons why they write in diaries/journals/blogs.:P Hey, I can even list some of those here pretty easy: 1."I just love writing. It's my hobby." 2.I think too much. If I don't do something really constructive and productive about it, I am afraid that my poor head will soon explode!*big evil grin* 3."I write better than I talk, and I don't feel like wasting other people's precious time listening (and waiting impatiently) to my stutterings. That's awfully embarrassing!" 4."Not everybody in the world can always accept brutal honesty. That's what I am truly aware of." 5."I feel that the world is slowly lacking sympathy.:( Still, you know what to do when nobody bothers to at least spend a little time to listen to your problems." 6."I can be my own heroine in my own storybook!";D 7.... ...and the list could go on forever. However, I'd like to sum it all up with my own reason these days: "This is my way of keeping my sanity." ......................... *big evil grin* Yes, people. That's right. I am seriously addicted to writing. This has been my therapy. You may and may not like what I write in here. That is truly up to you. Besides, I am just here to present my point of view. So, welcome to my world. The Author

A SILENT PRAYER FOR TIGER AND ME :)

10/16/2007

"Have I ever told you just how priceless you are?:) Too bad she can't see that, the way I always have..."

I left that comment on Tiger's latest blog entry. (And I won't tell you where, in case you're dead curious about him and what he usually writes.*big evil grin* Haha!) From what he wrote and also his latest, very short e-mail for me --- it seems to me that he's been doing pretty good with life lately.:) He's healing up slowly but sure, and I think that's a good sign.
And I am so glad that silly bitch --- his dumb ex, I mean --- has finally stopped terrorizing him over the phone and online too.*rolls eyes* Good. I don't ever want her to keep hurting him like that again.:x Grrh! She can be with many 'dogs' out there as she pleases, but leave Tiger alone. He's always been a good, loyal guy. He doesn't deserve such pain she's caused him too many times already.:( He deserves someone else much better.
And if it's not me, then I hope our God will send him a better girl.:| Besides, a friend of mine once told me that: "Just because we strongly feel that someone we love may be the perfect one for us, that doesn't mean we're also perfect for them."
I must agree with that.;) I've learned long and hard enough --- and begun to accept such possibility. Don't worry, I can.:) I mean, we can always promise --- or even swear --- that we'll never hurt the ones that we love. But then, in the end --- will we ever really know?
.........................
*deep sigh*
But please, don't get me wrong.:( It's not that I am still afraid of commitment like I used to be (note: which was the main, worse reason why I've never really had a boyfriend in real life.:P Yikes, I'll turn 26 soon --- this November!*gasps*:O) What I'm trying to say is: if it turns out that Tiger and I can never be more than best friends, there's a possibility that I might not be trusted enough by God to love him completely and be the lifetime guardian of his heart --- no matter how much I want to. Vice versa. I mean, it's always up to God, right?
Yeah.:) Who dares deny God's Wisdom and Policy? Not me, though.*shrugs*
Strangely, as I write this entry --- I feel my heart suddenly filled with some sort of...serenity.:) Maybe, it's because I've already left this whole matter up to God. No more mental breakdown, anxiety, bitterness, anger, disappointment, tears...whatever. Like what I'll always believe, Allah Knows Best.
Looking back on my writing entitled "When Solitude Speaks", I really mean it at the very last sentence. I hope God will help both of us wake up to a more comforting reality --- either together or separately.
Amen.:)