They say life is funny and unpredictable. You think you always know what to do until you are faced with the unexpected. It doesn’t always come from other people or other outer influences.

                Oftentimes, it can come from within – which is yourself. You. You think you really know who you are until the day you surprise yourself.

                After that, you are left with more questions than you can really answer. Who are you, really? You’re a much different person than you were before. You didn’t use to be like this.

                However, people do change – one way or another. Time and space can change them in so many ways. It’s not always bad. Sometimes it’s a good thing, a necessity.

                Some people you know who know you too have noticed those – rather drastic – changes in your life. Somehow, your father’s death has started it all. You’ve acknowledged the fact that yes, life is short. You still want to do a lot, despite so little time.

                Will you be able to do that?

                Anyway, they’ve told you how much they admire you. After your father’s funeral, you took a new job. You moved to live on your own in the central city. You see, that’s still uncommon for Indonesian young women. They always talk a lot about getting married first or moving in with your husband – or sticking with your family and all that jazz.

                Well, you’ve gone past that and become more independent now, your dream life gradually is coming true. How about giving love one more try?

                Hmm, good question. We’ll see.



My Friday went okay. My Saturday?? Well, here we go...
 I woke up early for my private tutoring in Bintaro at nine. I hopped on a public minivan after buying and eating a chocolate bar for...umm, my quick, emergency breakfast.:P I sat next to the driver - a hideous-looking dude with crooked teeth and one bloodshot eye. When we reached the fork next to the railway, the traffic was a bit heavy. Since I happened to be the only passenger left, guess what he did.
 "Sorry, Miss. I need to turn back," he said easily. "You can walk a little until you find another public minivan there."
 I sighed. Alright. Whatever.*rolls eyes* But then, he suddenly grinned at me and said, "That's okay. Just walk a little and lose some of your weight."
 What?? I glared at him angrily.
 "Well, I don't need to be reminded of that," I shot back as I slammed the door shut. His grin faded quickly. I didn't bother to stick around any longer.
 Then I took another public minivan to Arteri Bintaro. I got off there and an ojek rider (almost like taxis, but they ride motorcycles) called out to me and offered me his service. Not wanting to be late, I accepted gladly. But, by the time we arrived at my destination, he gleefully told me, "Give me a 15 grand, because my bike's been burdened by your weight."
 Huh?? My jaw dropped and I blinked. Noticing my expression, he casually added with no guilt, " I mean you're fat."
 No. Not twice in a day. Not another junior high school nightmare, please. NO!
 Long ago, I would've cried at that or just kept quiet, burying the hurt inside.
 But not today.
 "Want me to reduce your fare?" I threatened him curtly, showing him the money without giving it to him.
 "Well, I can do that." And hell, I would.
 "Come on," he pleaded, now laughing a little uncomfortably. But I wasn't joking.
 "I'm going to give you this if you apologize."
 "Hey, what?!" I barked. He fell silent immediately, but still managed his sickening grin.
 "Alright, sorry." But his expression translated the real meaning: 'Gee, you're so touchy, bitch.'
 I finally handed him his fare - but with my final word, of course.
 "Next time, watch your pipe-hole." Asshole, I added silently. Then, scrutinizing his own heavy-looking posture, I couldn't help but giving him the extra insult: "And check yourself in the mirror first!"
 For the second time in a day, I'd made a guy lose his smile. I turned to my student's house and marched in, hearing the motorcycle speed off. Whatever. With two, big-mouthed assholes like that in one freaking day, don't blame me for acting like a total bitch. Nobody has absolutely no right to say awful things about your body. Men and women - no difference. I'd call that harassment.:x If anyone has a problem with the way I look, then just shut the fuck up and leave me alone. First of all, nobody asked their opinion about me. I didn't! I also didn't say a damn thing about crooked teeth and a big bum!
 *deep sigh*
 That had almost ruined my mood when I finally hung out with the other co-workers at an ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT Japanese restaurant! But most of the other ladies thought I was brave/crazy enough.:P
 Hehe.*big evil grin*
 But still, I've been planning to straighten myself lately. So, I've just registered myself at a local gym today. No, it's not because of them. I've made up my mind since last month.
 Besides, it's about time, anyway. That's all.*shrugs*

 The Author
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