I am romantically-challenged. That's nothing new and also for sure. I've been that way for too damn long, since I can't even remember when.

One of my old college friends came up with another more sophisticated term about people with my (mental? psychological?) condition - and posted it on her Facebook wall. It's called 'philophobe' - someone with the phobia for romance - or the fear of falling in love. She told me that she and I were on the same boat.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything like that. I can still be happy with my life once in a while. That's life anyway.

I'm romantically-challenged because:

1.I keep falling in love with the wrong guys.

2.I keep getting heartbroken and alone in the end. (Come to think of it, I'm getting so good at being single that I no longer remember how to let people in easily. Yes, call me difficult as you may please.)

I'm sick to death of this same, old sick cycle carousel!

Enough said.



I was supposed to go see Extreme live in concert here last night, but I didn't. Why?

 1.I've been feeling ill lately. Flu and the sore throat too. That was why:

 2.I didn't bother to ask my brother again for the lost number of the tour's organizer. (Just changed to my new cellphone and I forgot to copy the inbox messages too.:P)

 Well, that's okay.:) No regrets. I'm not much of a fan, anyway. My brother didn't go either, but that wasn't the point. It just wasn't meant to be.
 Besides, I have another great reason to feel relieved and grateful with my decision:
 If I'd gone to that rock concert last night, I wouldn't have met Tiger online.:D Hehe.
 True, it's been a very long time since the last time we chatted.:) God, I've missed him so. Thank You for answering my prayer on that once again.
 Btw, it's strange but true. Do you believe in a coincidence?:P What if the same thing happens more than once, twice, or even three times - although not really that consecutive? Can you still call that 'a coincidence'?
 I don't know.*shrugs* Maybe. Like I've said a few entries back, I don't want to over-speculate things. Although I believe in certain metaphysical phenomenon, I must also think rationally.
 Actually, it's been almost this way more often than possible for the last four years.:) Whenever Tiger and I lose contact for quite some time and I start to wonder about him, I usually get either a surprise call or just meet him online. Either just a mere coincidence, some unexplainable cosmical connection, or God being this kind to me - or maybe all of the above.*big evil grin*
 Okay, I guess I'm starting to lose my head here.*giggles*
 Tiger's getting better, btw.:D No more fever, he said, so he's pretty happy. Good.
 But the strange thing is, a week before his illness announcement came out on his Facebook profile, I'd dreamed of him smiling. In my people's belief, seeing someone smile in your dream usually means the opposite.
 Well, no surprise, actually. I've somehow gotten 'it' from Mom. But it's not like in the movies, where every dream (either literal or symbolical) always come true - right away. It's sort of more like a deja vu, when you strat remembering your previous dream and get to relate it to what's happening in reality - sometime after that.
 Okay, I know that I'm not good at explaining this, but let me give you an example:
 A week before Grandma passed away, Mom had dreamed of seeing so many visitors at Grandma's old house in Panglima Polim, South Jakarta. (It was sold now.) At that time, Grandma had been in a coma from her stroke.
 I've told Tiger about this and he was pretty amazed.:P And yes, I've had similar experiences before. Once when I was still a student in ILP, I'd dreamed of my new teacher next term. It was a British lad named Ross. In my dream, he was telling me to get into class immediately.
 When the new term started, I checked the students' lists and found my name under this guy's class:

 Basic 3 - Ross Glifford

 No kidding.:P

 If it's a good dream, of course I don't mind having it come true. But, if it's a horrible nightmare (like the one about me killing a random guy in white on the street one night), I hope it'll stay a nightmare only.
 I hope it's only my nonsensical paranoia...:(

 The Author
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