REALISTICALLY-SPEAKING: BEING ROMANTICALLY-CHALLENGED

They say life is funny and unpredictable. You think you always know what to do until you are faced with the unexpected. It doesn’t always come from other people or other outer influences.

                Oftentimes, it can come from within – which is yourself. You. You think you really know who you are until the day you surprise yourself.

                After that, you are left with more questions than you can really answer. Who are you, really? You’re a much different person than you were before. You didn’t use to be like this.

                However, people do change – one way or another. Time and space can change them in so many ways. It’s not always bad. Sometimes it’s a good thing, a necessity.

                Some people you know who know you too have noticed those – rather drastic – changes in your life. Somehow, your father’s death has started it all. You’ve acknowledged the fact that yes, life is short. You still want to do a lot, despite so little time.

                Will you be able to do that?

                Anyway, they’ve told you how much they admire you. After your father’s funeral, you took a new job. You moved to live on your own in the central city. You see, that’s still uncommon for Indonesian young women. They always talk a lot about getting married first or moving in with your husband – or sticking with your family and all that jazz.

                Well, you’ve gone past that and become more independent now, your dream life gradually is coming true. How about giving love one more try?

                Hmm, good question. We’ll see.

                R.

THE FCE ASSIGNMENT - SPEECH PRACTICE
12/17/2008

Before I start this entry, I'd like to remind you that - without meaning to offend nor pass harsh judgement on other people - this is merely my own personal opinion. So, if you think I'm just being a little too cynical with this one, then I'm really sorry - because I actually still am, in some ways.:P
 Alright, everyone. So here's my problem:
 I've got another FCE assignment for next week on Monday morning at nine. This time, I must prepare a two-minute speech for my English fluency-speaking test. I'm going to present you the topic, plus my personal opinion about it:

 People have many, different reasons to get married. Among these ten, choose one (whether to state your 'for' or 'against' opinion) and give the reason why:

 (Yes, for a major step in life like this one - we ought to be extra careful, rational, and sensible. Oh, and don't forget having extra courage too, as Mom often proudly puts it.:P)

 1.Companionship.

 (Yeah, don't we all need that?:) However, what kind of companion do we really need, not just want? The one who wants to keep an eye on us 24/7 and not let us breathe and be who we really are - a.k.a.The Possessive, Ego-maniacal Psychopath *rolls eyes* or the one who'll treat us as an equal partner and a true friend? But hey, as a sensible realist, I guess I've already known my answer!:P)

 2.Financial security.

 (Okay, I know that - in Islam, at least - a husband's obligation is to financially support his family. However - especially these days - it's also a must for every woman to gain her knowledge in education and financial independence. Besides, Islam actually NEVER forbids women to achieve more positive goals outside their families and homes.:P Whoever thinks the opposite, I bet they don't know the real truth yet. Ha!)

 3.Love.

 (Okay, who says that we must always be 100% rational about everything?:P That's clearly impossible, knowing that we're just merely mortals, hehe. I know there are still so many cynics out there - including still, a part of me, I guess - who often question: "What's love, anyway?" The eternal optimists may possibly say: "With love, we can do anything - even the most impossible!" The gloomy pessimists can say: "Love? Can love provide food for the hunger? Is 'only' love enough?"

 "Your love alone/is not enough/not enough/not enough..." - Manic Street Preachers feat.Nina Persson

 I don't want to sound too either too naive nor sarcastic here. Can love provide everything we need? What do we really need, actually? Actually, it must. It's supposed to, or else it won't be called 'love' at all. Besides, if it doesn't come from the heart, then it just won't glow. Yes, as a cynic, deep down inside - I still believe in that. It's not just about choosing someone you want (and need) to spend the rest of your lives with. It's also about accepting your dream jobs, making friends, etc. Whether we realize it or not, there's already been a subconscious pattern in all of us - each of us.
 Btw, love is not just a choice, but also a responsibility. I mean, if you love yourself, you won't let yourself starve to death, will you - no matter how? That's actually the same thing with how we treat other living beings here on earth - and even our personal belongings. The question is, how do we want to be treated in return?)

 4.To please your parents.

 (Okay, as noble as this may sound, let's ask yourself. You're the one getting married, right? You're the one living it. Every good child wants to make their parents feel happy, but what about the child's happiness too? That doesn't mean it's selfish to think of it.:|)

 5.To escape from your parents.

 (You actually can do that by getting a good job out of town or even abroad. Then they'll have no choice but to let you go. I mean, they can't keep their children with them forever, can they? You don't need to get married to do just that. And honestly, this reason is somewhat silly and...tad cowardice. Well, to me at least.)

 6.To have children.

 (No comment on this one. Just check out the real world yourself.:P)

 7.To have a comfortable old age.

 (How do we make ourselves feel comfortable first? Life is full of discomforts along the way. How do we deal with that - no matter how old we are, with or without anybody beside us? Somehow, I still believe that you must be happy with yourself first before starting a relationship with another - or else you'll burden that someone to make you feel happy. If you don't like this, just blame it on Teri Hatcher - because that's actually her quote.:P)

 8.To gain social respect.

 (Ha-ha.*sneers* This is where we may start asking our true intentions if we worry about...them. Is our true purpose all about gaining a mere status, social respect/acknowledgement, or whatever? Aren't we the one getting married? Besides, we can't always please everybody, right? Believe, the question doesn't just stop there. Next, they'll start poking your personal business with questions about kids, their schools, their boyfriends/girlfriends...and the list goes on and on forever. A vicious circle of questions.:P)

 9.Reach the age when people are getting married.

 (Okay, so what? Why do we need to feel so bloody insecure about it? Why do we even bother? Everybody's different. Why must we push other people to start writing on the same page, if they still focus on other priorities to fulfil first?)

 10.All your friends are married.

 (Again, so what???)

 I still believe that The Right One for each of us comes along in the right time, especially regarding our true intentions. Yes, God is that kind to us. But, since this is only for my FCE assignment, I can only choose one to comment on.
 Pretty tricky, huh?:P

 The Author
 
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