THE REALITY SOAP: AFTER DAD'S FUNERAL

"REALISTICALLY-SPEAKING: I AM ROMANTICALLY-CHALLENGED"

I am romantically-challenged. That's nothing new and also for sure. I've been that way for too damn long, since I can't even remember when.

One of my old college friends came up with another more sophisticated term about people with my (mental? psychological?) condition - and posted it on her Facebook wall. It's called 'philophobe' - someone with the phobia for romance - or the fear of falling in love. She told me that she and I were on the same boat.

Don't get me wrong; I'm not feeling sorry for myself or anything like that. I can still be happy with my life once in a while. That's life anyway.

I'm romantically-challenged because:

1.I keep falling in love with the wrong guys.

2.I keep getting heartbroken and alone in the end. (Come to think of it, I'm getting so good at being single that I no longer remember how to let people in easily. Yes, call me difficult as you may please.)

I'm sick to death of this same, old sick cycle carousel!

Enough said.

R.

HONESTY, ANYWAY
12/19/2008

Report card, day two. Finally, this is the last day of work. After this, a long, year-end break awaits.:D Yippee!
 What am I going to do after this?:) Many things. Sadly, thanks to the damn flu and sore throat, I've been skipping gym classes for a week.:| No more.
 I'm also seriously looking for a feelance, side-job during this long break. I'm also still looking for a scholarship abroad - to USA or UK at least.:D Honestly, I'd love to meet Tiger for real someday, at least once in my life. After that, who knows?*shrugs* As much as I still have the same old feelings for him, I must be realistic. Who knows what tomorrow can bring? Only God, right?;)
 There.:P I've just said it. I don't care. It's all about honesty, anyway. I know he can read this anytime he likes. (Although he's actually very busy with work lately, so...*big evil grin*) Besides, I actually don't need to tell him any of this anymore. He's already known and it's okay.:) It's been four years. Long ago, I told him that this would never change and I meant it. I still do. I'm not afraid anymore.
 But it's up to God.:) Just like before. For somebody this special, a greater deal of patience is always required. But what's more important is that he and I are still both equally happy, whatever may come. No promises. No high expectations. Plus, no matter how much it will hurt, you just have to know when to completely let go - if it's just not meant to be.:P
 Then, what about Nick?
 *deep sigh* It was a beautiful, sunny June. I'll never forget his sweet smile, beautiful smoky-blue eyes, and soft red hair.:) I've loved him too and still care about him. But he and I both know the odds that are against us. I guess that's why he chose to step back first and it was okay.
 But we're still good friends.:D That's something I'm forever grateful of.
 ...........................
 Alright, enough about guys.:P
 One of my TE students - a humble book editor/freelance translator/freelance proofreader named DJ - proudly told me that for the next presidential election in April 2009 - he'd never vote for anybody. In fact, he's been a non-voter for the previous three elections. Why? Just like me, he no longer buys all the craps they're selling out for the public's (temporary) sympathy and support. In the end, they're all just the same.
 Indeed.*rolls eyes* Very true.

 The Author
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