REALISTICALLY-SPEAKING: BEING ROMANTICALLY-CHALLENGED

They say life is funny and unpredictable. You think you always know what to do until you are faced with the unexpected. It doesn’t always come from other people or other outer influences.

                Oftentimes, it can come from within – which is yourself. You. You think you really know who you are until the day you surprise yourself.

                After that, you are left with more questions than you can really answer. Who are you, really? You’re a much different person than you were before. You didn’t use to be like this.

                However, people do change – one way or another. Time and space can change them in so many ways. It’s not always bad. Sometimes it’s a good thing, a necessity.

                Some people you know who know you too have noticed those – rather drastic – changes in your life. Somehow, your father’s death has started it all. You’ve acknowledged the fact that yes, life is short. You still want to do a lot, despite so little time.

                Will you be able to do that?

                Anyway, they’ve told you how much they admire you. After your father’s funeral, you took a new job. You moved to live on your own in the central city. You see, that’s still uncommon for Indonesian young women. They always talk a lot about getting married first or moving in with your husband – or sticking with your family and all that jazz.

                Well, you’ve gone past that and become more independent now, your dream life gradually is coming true. How about giving love one more try?

                Hmm, good question. We’ll see.

                R.

HONESTY, ANYWAY
12/19/2008

Report card, day two. Finally, this is the last day of work. After this, a long, year-end break awaits.:D Yippee!
 What am I going to do after this?:) Many things. Sadly, thanks to the damn flu and sore throat, I've been skipping gym classes for a week.:| No more.
 I'm also seriously looking for a feelance, side-job during this long break. I'm also still looking for a scholarship abroad - to USA or UK at least.:D Honestly, I'd love to meet Tiger for real someday, at least once in my life. After that, who knows?*shrugs* As much as I still have the same old feelings for him, I must be realistic. Who knows what tomorrow can bring? Only God, right?;)
 There.:P I've just said it. I don't care. It's all about honesty, anyway. I know he can read this anytime he likes. (Although he's actually very busy with work lately, so...*big evil grin*) Besides, I actually don't need to tell him any of this anymore. He's already known and it's okay.:) It's been four years. Long ago, I told him that this would never change and I meant it. I still do. I'm not afraid anymore.
 But it's up to God.:) Just like before. For somebody this special, a greater deal of patience is always required. But what's more important is that he and I are still both equally happy, whatever may come. No promises. No high expectations. Plus, no matter how much it will hurt, you just have to know when to completely let go - if it's just not meant to be.:P
 Then, what about Nick?
 *deep sigh* It was a beautiful, sunny June. I'll never forget his sweet smile, beautiful smoky-blue eyes, and soft red hair.:) I've loved him too and still care about him. But he and I both know the odds that are against us. I guess that's why he chose to step back first and it was okay.
 But we're still good friends.:D That's something I'm forever grateful of.
 ...........................
 Alright, enough about guys.:P
 One of my TE students - a humble book editor/freelance translator/freelance proofreader named DJ - proudly told me that for the next presidential election in April 2009 - he'd never vote for anybody. In fact, he's been a non-voter for the previous three elections. Why? Just like me, he no longer buys all the craps they're selling out for the public's (temporary) sympathy and support. In the end, they're all just the same.
 Indeed.*rolls eyes* Very true.

 The Author
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