REALISTICALLY-SPEAKING: BEING ROMANTICALLY-CHALLENGED

They say life is funny and unpredictable. You think you always know what to do until you are faced with the unexpected. It doesn’t always come from other people or other outer influences.

                Oftentimes, it can come from within – which is yourself. You. You think you really know who you are until the day you surprise yourself.

                After that, you are left with more questions than you can really answer. Who are you, really? You’re a much different person than you were before. You didn’t use to be like this.

                However, people do change – one way or another. Time and space can change them in so many ways. It’s not always bad. Sometimes it’s a good thing, a necessity.

                Some people you know who know you too have noticed those – rather drastic – changes in your life. Somehow, your father’s death has started it all. You’ve acknowledged the fact that yes, life is short. You still want to do a lot, despite so little time.

                Will you be able to do that?

                Anyway, they’ve told you how much they admire you. After your father’s funeral, you took a new job. You moved to live on your own in the central city. You see, that’s still uncommon for Indonesian young women. They always talk a lot about getting married first or moving in with your husband – or sticking with your family and all that jazz.

                Well, you’ve gone past that and become more independent now, your dream life gradually is coming true. How about giving love one more try?

                Hmm, good question. We’ll see.

                R.

A LOST IDEALIST IN REALITY...
12/25/2008

Lately, I've been watching TV news and silently wondering:
 My country (still, I hope) accepts five different religions to be in here. Islam, Christian, Catholic, Hindu, and Buddha. Now six, with Kong Hu Chu (sp?), I guess. (If I'm not mistaken, especially since after the late former president Soeharto resigned in 1998.) As far as I (can really) remember, long before the riots in May 1998 took place, every citizen in this country had had no serious problems to pray and celebrate their religion-related special days freely. No prejudice, no harsh judgement, and no obviously pure, intense hatred on each other. We were all mere mortals anyway. No necessary fuss about the differences between us. It was all about respect and tolerance upon each other. Peace in pluralism.
 Yesterday, I watched the news about more guards being placed to protect those who wanted to celebrate Christmas openly and peacefully. There's been this constant, common fear about possible intruders/gate-crashers bringing the bombs in. I can understand that, especially with all the shits that have taken place/been going on lately. Nowhere is ever really safe anymore. Comfort zone is only illusion.
 But still, it saddens me so.:( Is this the kind of life my country's really after these days? Can we all go back to the time when we didn't have to gaze at someone's face and silently wonder if it weren't a mask for something seriously hideous underneath? Is it possible for us to return to the time when it was safe, it was okay to just reach out for someone's hand and not (have to) worry whether it was a friend's or enemy's?
 Has innocence ever really existed in the beginning? Or maybe it's also an illusion. Maybe we've all been asleep for too long, or taking too many sleeping pills that look as interesting as those colourful candies in the store.
 Maybe - once again - I'm just as naive as a gullible child, or a lost idealist within this absurd reality. But if I am so naive/gullible/whatever, then why do I still refuse to pretend that this world isn't getting crazier by the day?
 I also read the news about the decreasing numbers of foreign tourists coming to my country. Why? It's all because of The Stupid Bill (UU APP). They're afraid.
 Where the hell am I exactly? And why am I still (stuck in) here?
 *deep sigh*
 Tiger never forgets to remind me how strong I actually am. He keeps saying that I'm a good fighter.
 Tell me now, how can I not love this guy?:) These days, I need to believe that.
 And as always, so help me, God.

 The Author
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