I didn’t feel bad. I didn’t feel good either. It’s "˜bout the news that John told me yesterday. He admitted he’s taken already. I guess that’s the real reason why our communication ended just like that. That reason made me hate guys more! No guy had proven something good to me. They just made me think that they were really untrustworthy. My brother, my cousins, even some of my friends and those guys who courted me, they all never showed or proved something good "˜bout guys. They all showed some examples of how bad the guys were, how I’m going to hate them, how they will ruin my life.

Ok let’s talk "˜bout John first. I didn’t love him at the first place. I like him. We’re friends. I like the state of our relationship before our communication eventually ended. He’s sweet. He’s good. He’s a nice guy. During summer, he even tried to court me but it didn’t work out because he knew that I didn’t have any plan to have a bf. Now, I will admit it again. I really like this guy. Special is different from love right?! He’s special. I thought I was special to him too. But I was wrong. Maybe at first I was but it didn’t last long.

I met this guy last summer and so his friend Kim. This September, Kim had his gf named Nova. And now, it’s John who had his gf next. Oh my God! I’m so left out! I hated guys more this time because of John! All the sweetness and everything, they’re all not true. But you know what? Actually, I wasn’t really hurt.

I have a new friend. His name is Avien. He’s nice. He’s cool. He has a sense of humor. He’s not boring to text with. He’s a good guy. And most of all, he’s a classmate of my cousin. So I’m pretty sure this one is a good one.

Well, this is life.

            "Some shit will enter your life. Eventually, they will make you feel your so special and after some time they’ll be gone like bubbles. Then one unexpected day, they will be there again telling you some news like they have forgotten what has been with the two of you in the past. And you, how stupid you are! You act like everything’s fine though deep within this *points to the heart* you’re falling into pieces. But then you’re looking forward that someday, somebody will make you whole again. And you’ll hope he will not do the same."

            I just wanna tell that I’m not falling into pieces. Yeah, it hurts. Just a little bit. Special kasi siya diba?! But I’m fine. I’m still living my life. I’m still enjoying my life. Naghahanap pa din ako ng katapat ko. Kung wala pa din kayo gaya ko, sama- sama tayong maghanap. Hindi ako ganun ka-manhater, wala lang ako masyadong tiwala sa mga lalake. Lumaki kasi ako na ang mga kapatid at pinsan kong nakapaligid sakin ay mga babaero at talaga namang hindi katiwa-tiwala. May tiwala naman ako kahit papaano sa mga lalake pero hindi ganoon kalaki ang tiwalang binibigay ko. Mahirap na! Iniingatan ko lang ang puso ko at iniingatan ko din ang relationship na meron ako sa lalaking yun!

Teka! Iche- check- up ko lang puso ko. *dug,dug* yeah!!! Natunog pa sya! Buo pa din naman. Di naman nagkaroon ng crack. Mukha namang di malakas ang impact ni John. Buti na lang talaga matagal din syang hindi nagparamdam kaya ayon nabaling ang atensyon ko sa iba. Sa kaibigan, sa studies (ehem!! Tama, sa studies nga ang nabasa nyo), sa family, kay God at sa mga taong bagong pasok sa buhay ko. Haha!!!

Left out nga ako pero andyan naman kayo. Single din gaya ko! Sama- sama tayong maghanap ha!! Hehe!!

Ahmmm"¦.

            May bagong realization nga pala ako. Mali ako na sinasarado ko ang puso ko na mahalin ang isang kaibigan. Mas maayos nga silang mahalin kasi kilala mo na sila kaso yun nga lang may problema. What if friend lang talaga tingin nya saken? Haha!!! E di durog durog ulit ang puso. Haha!!!

            Masyado na kong naluluka! Gotta go!!

Rock on!!! m/ peace out"¦ *dug-dug*