I caught up with an old friend the other day. It’s been, let me think, years, lots of years. I typed the email into the header. Moved my cursor down to the subject link and typed

It’s been a long time *sounds like SPAM*

Delete

Where have you been? *sounds like phishing*

Delete

Hi from NY *sounds so prosaic*

But I’m okay with that one. I moved my cursor to the body of the email and began to type.

Hi. How are you? It’s been a very long time and I thought I would track you down and see how you and the family are doing.  We are all doing well since moving back to New York.  RJ decided to retire and we bought an Inn in Mumford, not too far from the Genesee Country Village and Museum.

I stopped and reread what I wrote. How impersonal! Doesn’t even sound like we were ever friends.  Delete.

I’ve missed them and I can’t seem to compose an email to tell them.  I looked at the phone and back at my screen. Phone. Screen. Why don’t I just call?  I picked up the phone and dial the number I found on the web. The worse that will happen is… what? Nothing. The phone rang only twice and Jim’s voice comes over the line, “This is Jim. Can I help you?”

“You sure can.” I said. “It’s been a long time.”

“Who’s this?”

“Deborah.”

“I thought I recognized your voice. How are you doing, Doll?”

It was as though the years between us melted away. We talked about family, kids, and work and when we were in school.  I decided that we have to be in a certain place, at a certain time, doing certain things, in order for us to get where ever it is we have to be to achieve what ever it is we are suppose to do. 

We promised to stay in touch.

I suppose that is one of the reasons why I write about relationships. That is what is important today, those connections with people. They reflect back to us who we are. How can that be done through email, which are snippets of unrevealing conversation.  Worse yet it is text messaging. Through an intricate series of letters and symbols, the writer successfully communicates his message. Communicates – such a cold word. Conversation, on the other hand, implies a connection between two people. Letter writing is another form of communication that allows the writer to take the time to express their feelings or the message.  I think that is why letter writing is becoming a lost art form. It means people need to expose themselves, open themselves up to others, become vulnerable.

Do you remember the expression, “We only hurt the ones we love.” It’s true because we know how. We know them; therefore, we know how to hurt them. Every time we write something, anything, we reveal a bit of our soul – the who we are – and that makes us vulnerable. That is probably why I respect writers. They are risk takers. They risk ridicule, hurt, anger, isolation, love, and understanding. It is the understanding that causes to write. To explain. To be heard. That is the joy of writing.

So the relationships we develop through our forms of communications create bonds that will transcend time.

Make that call or write that letter to someone you need to connect with. Relationships need to be tended. Tend that relationship today.

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