Most circles of thought look at certain habits as being minimal.  Especially the practitioners feel most adamant about habitual usage being "harmless", can never hurt you, or have any negative side effects.  Something that comes from the ground has none of the addictive qualities of pharmaceuticals pills, powders, and synthesized and crystalline freakiness.  When you get that euphoria you forget or numb out most everything else.  After a while doing your laundry is a huge accomplishment.  Literally doing something that should be routine is some sort of feat.  This is pathetic.

Lets just say that I've been in transition.  Transition being a relative term.  As time moves by it feels so much shorter.  Before you realize  your present perspective - that sledgehammer epiphany clearly states in front of you: "It's been ten years!?, It's been how many years!?It's been how long!?".  The phrase: "seems like yesterday" is the true understatement.  Loafing around and just getting by the days make those days fly too fast.  Since there's nothing to fill those days except a lot of nothing.  The sense of waste kind of creeps up on me.  Having that sensation that your underwater but yet  still breathing.  The sensation of pressure around you but still oblivious to all of it.  Just making time for the next temporary and superfluous and fleeting euphoria.  It gets old after awhile.  So however long it took, I've decided to make something better for myself.  Even with all of the haziness around me I know what a sucess is. What and how to accomplish a goal or goals.  All it takes is physical initiative.  After that personal trend is accomplished and a habit evolves from this.  It's kind of incredible the discovery of how much time shorter gets the older you are.  I will reach those goals or be close to it so that I will reach them in no time.  I will mold and shape my future to how I want it as opposed to the future choosing for me. 

First I need a goal.