Hello I’m sure you all have missed me

I doubt I ever got to tell you that my friend Karrie was taking me to the military ball. It was so much fun! And since technically I didn’t have a date *I was just Karrie’s guest* but anyway her date and her decided that me and this other guy Paul were going to be dates for the night *he didn’t have a date either and I had known him since first semester* anyway … we were like…um ok…
later on into the night he asked me out.

I said yes.

So I’m not single anymore and its kinda ironic because while we were on our one night date me and him had said that we loved the single life….this was back in April, April 26 to be exact, and you know what I like the dating life with him so much better than the single life.

Strange though he has told me that he wonders why were together… comparing the odds though…but as they say opposites attract, and I like him a whole lot , I mean a LOT I don’t use the term love unless I’m sure I know what I think it is because, well to me love is the strongest word on the planet…and I think we humans abuse it, not even realizing that saying I Love You to someone after three days of dating can not only shatter a relationship, but it can also confuse and hurt both people involved. To me love is a word stronger than hate and I don’t even like to use hate … I will say something else that explains how much I dislike that person but I try not to say hate.

Love is a word that could cause a person so much pain in so little time, the moment you admit and say you’re in love even if the other person loves you back you better be sure its love you feel because those three words are the most powerful words on the face of this earth, it’s amazing how quickly it can tear a person apart, shatter their heart, or something else of the like.

He is two years older than me, and he is a sophomore, *I’m a freshman*… but I don’t care…. What bothers me is the fact that next year he will be a junior and the year after a senior, and I constantly wonder if I could take a whole school year without him with me. It scares me when I realize that wow he will be junior me sophomore then senior junior, then just senior and somehow that thought pounds the fact that I have to grow up soon into my head because I thought 4 years was a long and not long time, but now I think it’s going to be faster than I thought and the fact that I spent half my life doing nothing just letting the days fly by me, makes me sad. And I vow that I will not let my high school years pass by in a blur like my other school years, I will make sure that each day is worthwhile and counts for something. I want to give myself a chance, reason to remember my high school days, I want meaning in my life because it’s starting to sink in that if I had kept living the way I was … and thinking the way I thought *oh well I bet it will come faster than I think, because it always does* I was going to find myself in a house ALONE in old age because I never took advantage of the joys in life.

And that’s not what I wanted.

I don’t know you guys I think he is my reason…that reason to make everyday different… ever since we started dating my family says I have been a joy to have in the house…which trust me is not usual I feed and water the pets, I have been getting more that 2 hours of sleep and waking up on time without getting screamed at. I don’t yell very much anymore and I have brought one of my three F grades up to a C a C, I did dissection in biology and I offered to cut open the fish  *although nothing else* and today my teacher  brought in a snake, and I held it, yep I held it I was so proud of myself!!!. I’m turning in papers in on time, and it’s just amazing how much this one little change affected the rest of me, I’m not happy to have him for my boyfriend because I’m doing better in everything else, I’m happy because he makes me feel good,  I hardly know how to describe it. Every time we separate at my bus I miss him already by the time I get home I miss him so much… my friends call it puppy love, or lovesick.

 My dad’s not happy though, he was actually furious. I didn’t expect him to get so mad and you know what it really pissed me off when he compared me to him because when he turned 18 he got a girl pregnant basically implying that I’m an unintelligent female who would let a guy have sex with her if he persuaded me to, I said “dad I’m not some stupid brainless girl for god’s sake” he doesn’t understand or doesn’t want to understand that I am a intelligent woman and damn it I want to be treated like it. I’m due for a purity ring and for those of you who don’t know that is when you make a promise to god that you won’t have sex till your married, and my dad Is just…grr

I don’t want to talk about him any more.

Well this is getting to be 982 words as I’m being told by Microsoft word hahaha wait, wait now it s 997 I’m gonna go alright.

Love From,

Meghan

Meg

メグ(Meg)