| Insanity of my life |
Violent WindThere is a wind blowing of the most violent sort, crule, punishing..........diserving?I steped out of my house this dawn into the dark, a cold, lonley and fear filled dark To be beaten and pelted by angry stones I CALLED to the wind and the stones in my angry shame, so now I suffer I left my home last night for the final time No... not the house I will return to tonight .... to rest my body But my home.... a place I have carved out for myself Where my friends, loved ones and Invisible Soul Mate reside My eyes cast down in sadness and heart break as I left I said my good byes, as many voices eccoed behind me......Do not go They don't know why their friend is leaving them... Sadness in the air But I must.. I apologized for a sectret shame I have, before I left... For the one I had hurt But the hurt was mine The Shame was my beliefe in truth, honesty and integrety. Invisible Soul mate had none I left him to the home He came long before I....I am not spite filled Once again believing, as an innocent child would.... I transgressed Hand Tie knows nothing He will only breifly notice my sadness Once again I am alone A child in the dark 6:20 AM - 11/2/2007 - comments {0} - post commentShare and enjoyI heard todayI heard that today is a beautiful day. I am told that the sky is blue, the breeze crisp and the sun warm.However, I know not of these things. I am once again blind in the fog. The air is thick and heavy. My chest heaves, shudders and spasms in pain with each breath I take. Why do I struggle so, I cannot say. Could it my my yoke? I, like many others am an indentured servant. Shackled and chained in my cave For the appropriate hours of the day. My master is a particular cruel one. Oh I am not the only one that suffers at his hand. Too cruel for words. Others have gnawed at the chains till they could flee but not me. I stay, serving my time. Not because I am weak or afraid, but because for now it serves my purpose. There is a means to the end. I wait... I plan. Could it be because I so foolishly gave my soul away when my hand was tied? Foolishly hoping for the security I never had. So silly a child can be in the dark. Wandering, wanting, lusting. My soul remains alone. To many things I think of... my invisible soul mate tells me. Oh how I wish he was near. I will never touch his hand, his face or lie in his arms. Again I am left alone Good day all May peace be yours 10:13 AM - 11/1/2007 - comments {1} - post commentShare and enjoyWhy I am hereI didn't come to meet people, I didn't come to make friends, however if it happens, then my life will have improved. Life has been hard. I have come to have a place of my own. A place where I can be myself, where the disaproving eyes of the ones I know cannot reach me. A place where I can speak the truth, words I have to say, of the sounds insanity I hear in my brain. Some days I may not have any words of my own. It wasnt always that way you see. So I may use others words, just to speak at all. Please don't come to gossip or to needless use your voice.Speak when you have something to say. Please be kind and treat me with respect, I will always do the same for you. This is my home now and I welcome you in. I know I have set many rules in my home. I hope it doesn't discourage you to much. Peace be with you Nina 4:36 PM - 10/31/2007 - comments {0} - post commentShare and enjoyA new place to call homeExcuse me while I move my things in. I can be a bit slow at times. Things must be just right. You know the lighting, art ,music... Where I put my most comfy couch. I like to invte friends over quit abit. So if Im still moving in when you stop by, cop a squat on the floor and just hang. I always love visitors.1:27 PM - 10/31/2007 - comments {1} - post commentShare and enjoy |
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