Six friends made a vow one night that they will someday govern the city in their various fields! Those friends were we.

          This pic was taken when we had a sleepover one night at my friend's house. It's a bortherly promise that we will strive to rise above others and prove to the world what we are made of! Go Sphraquertz!

          Today, we captured all the memories we had together in one shot. With a single flash, we condensed all those experiences that shall forever be intact in our hearts and minds. We had our yearbook pictorial.

          The melancholy that was enveloping my heart since yesterday afternoon tightened its grip on me. With each heavy breath I took, it constricts more than ever. Like a python gently squeezing its prey was that gloom that fell upon my existence.

          These are just some of the times when I look forward into my life and see myself crawling through the battlefield tending the wounded, friend and foe alike. These are just some of the moments when I brace myself for what reality has to throw at me. Instances when all my insecurities and afflictions come rushing up to me with torches and pitchforks.

          What makes it more painful is that I can´t tell anyone how I really feel coz I myself think these feelings of mine are too shallow, stupid, pointless, selfish and chauvinistic. I know these feelings shouldn´t have broken through the semi-permeable membrane of my being. Yet it has. And it´s little by little taking over my moods... my character... my life.

          When I come to think about it, the boulevard of broken dreams may be the lonely road I have to take someday. It saddens me to realize that our lives may never travel the same slope forever. Sometimes... someday, we may have to let go. Yet I pray that before that mournful day comes, my life shall come to its end... that the lighted road to paradise or the bittersweet path to purgatory may take the place of that boulevard I fear to take.

          We had a group sharing during our English class today about the story The Father by Nobel Prize Awardee Bjornsterne Bjornsen. Tackling its theme, a sullen realization possessed me. Sometimes, we tend to center our lives on one person whom we can call our inspiration aside from God and our parents. Yet time may come when that person chooses to travel a separate path. So, like an object that has lost its center of gravity, you turn around and around, not knowing where to go.

           It seems that all of us live our lives at the mercy of others. For the captives, they live at the mercy of their captors... the sinners; God... and for those whom love has touched; the object of their affection.

          In loving someone, you give her all you´ve got unknowingly. All of us naively place our hearts-our lives at those smooth hands we long to hold. Yet, it is and it shall be the wisest choice we've ever made...

          Shoot! I don´t know why I feel so low. I´m not into drugs. Yet, these mood swings happen ever so often. It´s becoming a nuisance in my life. Well, I better make the best out of another lemon in my life.

          When I come to really think of it, there are really some things that trigger my masculine version of PMS. Yet, plunging to the very bottom of my emotions, I find that the causes of such are simply too shallow. Well, be they shallow or not, they really kick the hell out of me. It plainly kills my creativity and enthusiasm. All of a sudden I wish I am back inside my mother´s womb once more.

          I just want to hide from the rest of the world today. Or at least find someone real to pour out my emotions to. It´s not that I don´t have friends. In fact, I have a lot who are willing to talk things out. Yet, I just don´t want them to know these silly things that grab me by my most sensitive organ (that would be my heart, you perverts!). They might not see these things as I see them.

          You´re right. I´m wearing a mask. I´m wearing a mask to hide who I really am. It´s between myself and God. Not even my "most bestest" friend know this part of me. It´s like a deep dark secret I hide from the rest of the world that all they would see is my bright and bubbly side. Even if they open me up like a cadaver, they´ll never get to see what bothers me most of the time. The most I could show them is a downcast face when things fail. But this part of me... I doubt it.