The Sever Dangers of Not Disciplining Your Kids

REFERENCE: Proverbs 23:13-14 Dont fail to discipline your children. They won't die if you spank them. 14 Physical discipline may well save them from death.

Observation: Spanking is not much in vogue these days. I can understand why. Spanking has been used as a cover and an excuse for abuse. In former days, for some parents, it was the only discipline "tool" they had and it caused more harm than good. My own father, not an abuser by any means, has said that he feels he and my mother over used spanking as a discipline when my brothers and I were growing up (although, personally, I think my bothers--not me--needed more not less ;-).

I speak as one who believes in using it as a last resort on kids old enough to understand and no so old that it causes humiliation rather than discipline.

There is an even more important issue here though. Too many parents fail to discipline their children when they need it. There are a variety of reasons they don't; the parents are too busy, they are unengaged, they feel guilty, they would feel like a bad parent if they admitted how badly their child was behaving, they simply can't bring themselves to cause any small hurt to their child. The most common reason I have found is that parents are afraid of losing the love of their kids. The child makes it clear to them that if they discipline them the kid won't like them (they threaten that it will be forever). Because of the parents own insecurities and need for love and acceptance, they cave. They make the choice that they would rather be the "good guy" to their child then to give them the correction they deserve. Im not talking here, necessarily, about spanking, but all the forms of discipline - grounding, consequences, losing privileges etc.

What we as parents need to realize is that our kids lives are on the line - sometimes literally. I have seen kids die simply because their parents refused to put discipline into their life. A life lived without a sense of proper limits is a very dangerous life.

As parents we must decide that our feelings and needs are not nearly as important as fulfilling our function as leaders and guides to our kids (yes, and as disciplinarians if necessary), even if that makes them dislike us. It is better to have you children alive and disliking us for the short term, than for them to live undisciplined lives and suffer the ultimate consequences.