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12/5/2009 - Impossible
Posted in Unspecified

Impossible

To lose.
To face
what you
cannot taste.
Too see.
To strip;
what you can't equip.

I fear.
I fly.
I fall.
I cry,
and bitter blood
wreaks bitter will
.

And fall cast to the crows;

I die
.
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12/5/2009 - Intertwined
Posted in Unspecified

Arms  fold around you
from somewhere far away.
A breath against you,
frozen and prolonged.

Moon shines down in simple rays,
and we are ghosts of the darkness;
intertwined and folded to.


The silence holds us steady as we
journey to this lucid dream.
A place where no one sees,
a place to feel the breeze.

Quiet in your arms I sit.
To breathe you,
to feel you,
to hold you close,
to whisper you to me..

And even in my darkest dreams my love;
tis you I hold so close.

Photobucket
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12/5/2009 - do not love me anymore.
Posted in Unspecified

Do not love me anymore.
I am tainted, gone;
 I am poison in your veins.

Do not love me anymore.
I am sweet as milk and honey,
flowing swiftly into another;
 only bitter to your taste.

Do not love me anymore.
I bid thee take thy leave ,
 don't stay.
I am your monster and  your dark.
I am your fleeing nightingale.
The missing of your flock.

Do not love me anymore.
I am not yours.
Your chains that hold are merely
ghosts of chains that used to be.

Do not love me anymore.
I'll be your wicked death.
becoming someone Else's life...
Oh, but if you loved me ever.

Do not love me anymore...
Not now.
Not ever.
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12/5/2009 - mystery
Posted in Unspecified

I see you now.
Your skies are turning blue.
A mystery I have to solve.
Is why I'm needing you.

Is it cause you're beautiful;
outside, inside,
 through, and through?

Because your breath can travel?
Because the moon is in your view?

Maybe it's the dreams?
Or the way you make you, you?

I see you now.
Your skies are turning blue.
A mystery I have to solve,.
Is why I'm needing you.


Maybe it's the way you talk?
Or the way you know
exactly what I'll say?

Maybe it's the vibe crossed
over hundreds of miles,
stalking my mind;
my heart to skip a beat.

Maybe it's just a perfect dream?
Or maybe it's just you?
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12/4/2009 - desperate nightmare
Posted in Unspecified

A hand wrought to soothe.
A voice designed;
 created to manipulate.
A breath to lull her to be still.
A bite to hold her there;
a bite to murder will.

She breaths not!
Holding breath to keep
the weep a secret;
a hidden dream forsaken
with every silent tear
of bitter sacrifice.

Hate will hold her hand
to keep the fever hounds at bay.
Fear will drive her
 heart to cease to race.

And she falls;
A strained fight.
She disappears.
Reality becomes nightmare
as she forces herself awake
into sky's  lucid dream.

A promise ghost;
the senses numb her
and she is zone.

The walls and ceilings
turn to nothing.
Outer space;
a  beautiful cosmos.
She hangs there in the middle,
somewhere between eternity
and cold.
 She suspends herself
curled into her ball,
enfolding silence around her;
a sweet cocoon.

Tears flow fast and hard;
her guardians float around her
like the weeping angels of genocide.
She curls to the fold; to see a face,
to feel a different hand;
a different breath.

A hand wrought to soothe
A voice designed;
 created to protect
a breath to lull to satisfy.

She breaths not
Holding breath to keep
the weep a secret
a hidden dream come to fruition
with every silent tear
of sweeter sacrifice;
 the nightmare bids her back.

And..

Fear will hold her hand
to keep the fever hounds at bay.
Hate will drive her
 heart to cease to race.

And she falls...
Reality becomes her
as she rolls to hide;
 to close the doors.
Sleep will welcome her.

Pretend,
 will be her guardian.
To hold her.
To save her.
To take her away.

Until the clock chimes her
of her time
and she will flee.



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12/3/2009 - Without ever a breath
Posted in Unspecified

Without ever a breath;
cast out this stone.
Lay me down in still waters;
Shallow and alive.

My breath to steal,
a stolen kiss,
a perfect wish.
So close,
so far.

Without a breath;
standing in the dark.
A ray of light;
 a breaking dawn
of might.

Without a breath
cast hope;
A Sky to fly to.
A King to fight for.

Without a breath
I lay me down in still waters
close my eyes to see you;
lungs craving to breath you,
to feel you
to hold you
to know you.

Pass the clock.
Holding time in your hands
Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray sky my heart to keep.

And whispers in the wind:
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11/8/2009 - Specific Inspirations
Posted in Unspecified



Specific Inspirations    (dedicated to Mrs Bower)

When you tell me that i matter,
I know that I'm important
  
When you tell me "I Believe,"
I know I can.

   When you held up the Apple
    a single bite was all it took
    to form a specific inspiration
    to just believe in something.

When you told us we would travel,
I knew I could go far;
these specific inspirations
that lead a heart to Good.

    It never has to be much--
     just a little bit will do;
    sometimes even the simplest words
    will set the course to pull us through.

And sometimes going far
doesn't mean a big house,
 and a nice car.

Sometimes going far means
setting your course to change the lives of others,
to keep them from going ajar

They are specific inspirations
that make us who we are.

    Through life these specific inspirations
     that we remember in a blip
    will open  certain doors
    not everything is roses
    not everything thorns,
    but each door that is opened,
    each keyhole to unlock, leads us to specific options
  
    The options to remember those specific inspirations,
     to use them and define them for ourselves
     to do the things of good
     or do the things of bad.

So far this path that I have set upon
is neither specific nor straight
but one thing is specifically certain:


    I remember "specific"
    and I have chosen;
I don't have that big house
and i don't have that nice car
             
            but,

I have talked cats off of walls
and I've built flaming pyres
in the darkness of others;
 And i have found that something to believe in
because of these specific inspirations--

I have found my hope
I have found,
my far...


                               

                                     
 
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10/29/2009 - Goth and What Is the True Norm!!!
Posted in Unspecified

norm.jpg picture by bathoryproject

Goth, AND WHAT IS THE TRUE NORM!!


I think it's sad when I walk down the street and people seem so repelled by me because i am Goth.  It's like they are afraid of us.


I used to go to church a long time ago; I showed up to church in my regular style of clothing--Goth--and  there was some kind of show they were doing. One of the people that was in the show came up to me after church and automatically started telling me how Satanism is bad and how i need Jesus.


I just looked at him and laughed.


I still remember my exact words as follows: "Do you even know who I am? What? Just because i am Goth you think I am a satanist? Are you kidding me? I know more about the Bible than you' ll ever know  your entire life. I'm Goth but that doesn't mean I'm a fucking satanist."


I used to surf the Yahoo chats a lot. I found that the most fun people to chat with were Goths. Everyone has this preconceived notion that because of the way we dress and how society looks at us, we must all be Satanist, and we are all mean and unfriendly anti-social and hate the world.


I kind of hate humanity in a sense simply because humanity  seems to have lost its will to survive as a whole.


Humanity seems to have forgotten to embrace all that surrounds us like nature and the air we breath; humanity takes for granted that there is more to life than the TV that i am listening to, or the pc i am typing on as we speak.


There is the moon in the night sky with which I celebrate and pull my energy from; there are the trees for instance, and as beautiful as they may be, the energy they posses is far greater. They produce the air we breath that gives us life. I like the sun for sure, but I feel most alive at night even though the people I see day to day seem to think its just all part of the act I put on. But it's not. I have been this way my whole life. It seems to be those of us that hang on the outer fringes of society have not forgotten to breath and celebrate nature and the energy it possesses;  it is those of us on the outer fringes of society that have not forgotten the fact that there is beauty in everything even...the bad or the dark. Because we are human, it is in our nature to forsake that which we take for granted; but it seems that those of
us on the outer fringe that strive to remember and never forget...do not forget.


No matter how hard i try to explain this to people that are not like us, they never get it.  I get asked stupid questions like: “Are your drinking tomato juice because it looks like blood?” Well no. It's because  I like tomato juice. I'm just as normal as you. I'm just a little tweaked.


The normal people that are curious about Goths just seem to think that every single thing I do has some sort of Gothic reasoning behind it. Quite frankly, I find that quite amusing. Then there are the people who are or aren't curious--but either way, they still look at you like you're a threat, or like you're a freak. Most Christians just seem to be on this never ending mission to save my soul, put my problems in God's hands and all will be solved. But what about solving our problems ourselves and giving credit to God for giving us a brain?


Just because I'm Goth doesn't mean I'm some kind of freak, or that i must be utterly depraved.  I am who I am because I was born that way; It's who I am. I am a very social person. I have no problems with just going up to random people and striking up a conversation. You never really know the
lessons you can learn from just speaking with people.


As a Goth, I am only to be feared if you have toyed with me or mine; otherwise, I'm easy to get along with. I just wish society could come together and not fear us the way they do. We have done nothing wrong. I guess when it comes down to it, they are normal and we are the freaks. But you know what? Who can define normal? The definition of normal is: a lack of significant deviation from the average. Well, what is the real average? This world is so diverse...


 

so in conclusion you are
declared abnormal only if the average you are in the midst of is opposite of
you. So, if I'm a goth  in a group of goths then I'm normal however if I'm a goth  in a group of jocks
I'm not and likewise so really doesn't that make the opportunity to truly
define some one as normal virtually null and void?
I THINK SO!

   Goth is taboo,
and so  is eating a cow if your a Hindu there's just no true and pure way to
define a person as truly normal when it comes down to it we are all
freaks the entire world is made up of cultures of different species of
freak THERE IS NO NORM!!!!!

 please respond with your view points



                                                                                                                                            ^v^Elizebeth^v^

          Since I have written this I have changed some, because things have happened I now fear most people
I am still kind of social but there are flaws however, my opinion still stands, and it has always been easier for me to trust within my own niche...                                                                                                   
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10/27/2009 - the rape of the mistress fall
Posted in Unspecified

dear mistress fall
standing silently
amongst the fox fire
as she beckons to hear the call

rivers waiting
flooding
taking all in due course
the rhythm sets
and she is bound
bound by the ice to keep her

guardian winter
a cold feet
a harsh branch
and she has wavered

guardian winter
as he strips her bare
the leaves fallen
the air ice
and the trees dead and dry

he has taken her
raped her of her colors
of her song
and she will die
she will die

his cold embraces bittersweet
she accepts them as
just something that
is meant to be
something
that must be

tear stained cheeks
as guardian winter
was not the warm that she expected
not the love contemplated
her beginning
her end
his middle
and her time

has became his time
and she will die
she has died

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10/27/2009 - the lone of mistress fall
Posted in Unspecified

she waits for him
as her season flutters by
a slave of the wood
and chilling air
of the fox fire at her feet

she hums the tune
as she wonders through
dizzy in the fall
she hears it all
but she cant hear him

her wind blows her hair about
beautiful silken discord
the stuff of lullabies
of drought

her fingers wind around
the branches in her path
like longing long foretold
bittersweet and needy
as though a child set
to pain

her eyes stare vacantly outward
as she talks to her forest
the trees sway to her
and the leaves caress her
but the silence is killing her

she hears it all
but she can't hear him
and still she waits
as she mourns
and still she
waits


 

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10/27/2009 - the waiting of the mistress fall
Posted in Unspecified

stress of the fall she lays on the ground
her hair spun around and around
blood red in the leaves
she waits for some one to come
for the guardian that she never found

she spins her magic in the trees
each tear that trickles down
another leaf falls to the ground

she spins her magic in the air
another day that passes
it grows colder
as she grows older

still her eyes of
lofty innocence
and daydreams
of the fog

she glistens in her waiting
as she spins her magic round
the world is changing
to her complaining
and shes taking it all down

as
she lays upon the ground
her hair spun around and around
blood red in the leaves
she waits for some one to come
for the guardian that she never found

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10/27/2009 - the coming of the mistress fall
Posted in Unspecified

i can feel it
rise in me
gentle tides rolling thick
in the breeze
they are calling
 within me
let her in they
 beg
 
she is falling
fell upon you
a caress of a
gentle
motion


she is breathing
deep within you
she is calling out

break the silence
break the summer
veil to let her through

velvet gown
sways with each step
silence fills the void
twig that breaks in the forest
is the earth that quakes

her breath cast
in air visible to all

her sound is swish
like the leaves falling around her
eagerly bow to her

and
everywhere she steps
summer withers at her beckoning
pale frosty fingertips
and she is worn
a pedestal doth never held the
sacred of her sworn
but she is lore

to them
to all who never met her
she is myth
to them to all
that never rose to her occasion
the complication

they say she dines among the elk
and sings  a wolf song
to her beloved moon at
night

she is the legend  of the fall
she is the fall
she is the secret
to all the untold lies
she is forever

and she will make her own demise
and fold together
with the passing tides
the air will chill around her
in her repose icy death fall cast upon her
till the season beckons
 her to come again

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10/25/2009 - untranquilia
Posted in Unspecified

she woke with bitter tears
to find the light betrayed her
and the dark her closest friend
she fell to save the hours of the pain
and tattered bend
her dreary lids close into the vacant fog
and she is lucid in her hell

her breath is the hollow of her heart
and her fingertips a tingle with the chill
of lack of touch
and she has fallen
to find the light betrayed her
and the dark her closest friend
she fell to save the hours of the pain
and tattered bend
as her dreary eyelids close into the vacant fog
a gilded mist to covet her
keeping her from her last sigh
and she is lucid in her hell



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10/25/2009 - what do you do with a fallen angel
Posted in Unspecified


what do you do with a fallen angel
broke of wing and bound by string
what do you do with a fallen angel
to weak to move
to scared to scream

she rode in with the tides
but never rode them out
now she is covered in sand and soot
as she cowers without calling out

what do you do with a fallen angel
broke of wing
and bound by string
what do you do with a fallen angel
her voice a whisper inaudible to even the wind
her eyes two shining orbs of obsidian glass
her skin a pale translucent white
her lips are twisted emotionless and dead

what do you do with a fallen angel
broke of wing and bound by string
what do you do with a fallen angel
her heart once full beats bitter blood
poured forth from barely open lids
above  sunken cheeks and shallow breath

what do you do with a fallen angel
broke of wing and bound by string
to weak to move to scared to scream
hold her into her dark night
and let her pass with the nightingale
that lullaby's her to dead flight
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10/25/2009 - i can't kill silence
Posted in Unspecified

i can smother noise
drown it into a pillow
or choke it with under water
but i can't kill silence

a million sounds of silence
as i sit here typing out
emotion as my life support
i just cant kill silence

my fingers claw my arms
bitterly and cold
i stare out darkened windows
there is no one out alive
i just cant kill the silence


it washes over me like liquid fire
burning me to nothing
i sit here every night
in the same spot
at the same time
and with the same person
every night myself
and it kills me
i just cant kill the silence

a cold bed welcomes me
the light of the moon shines down
nothing but countless pillows
 and a sea of blankets
to cradle me to my grave

so quiet so cold
so damn alone
i would scream
if i could
but the silence chokes me
instead my skin chills
and the silence grows
the night hearkens
and the tears fall
i just cant kill the silence

fake it for a little while
but never forever
always when the song is over
the reminders start to rise
i am alone
really alone
and i just cant kill the silence...
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10/25/2009 - fucking trainwreck
Posted in Unspecified

they made me take the make up off
they said don't hide yourself
don't hide your world from us
they said you are beautiful
you are strong
and so i did
i was scared but i did

they stroked my long
silken hair out of my face
and they touched my tears upon my face
they loved me once i thought
what it was supposed to feel like
what i had never had
and i was scared but i tried


they sucked out every piece of
hidden i had they ate it all
and they force fed me affection as if
a starving kitten
and i was scared but i obeyed

and in the span of twenty minutes
they found my darkman
and in the span of twenty seconds
they banned their world from me
i was scared and i was alone


everyone goes, everyone fades
no one ever really stays
i sit here cold
alone
pacing like a caged bird
i beat my head upon the walls
 and crumple in corners
i scream when i cant do anything else
and i fall

people changed me
humans changed me
was i ever human
am i human now?
am i anything?

was i ever really happy
will i ever get something
anything
something???

when will my love come for me
when will i be fixed
how many tears do i have to shed
how many nights alone
always fighting the urge
the urge to just press down a little harder
just a little harder i beg myself
it wont last long
it will pass
and the cure will last forever

when will i be touched the way
i was meant to be touched
when will i breathe the way
i was meant to breathe




my god this isn't a poem
 it is a fucking train wreck
help me help me help me


HELP ME!




SOMEBODY
ANYBODY TAKE ME AWAY

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10/25/2009 - mistress fall
Posted in Unspecified

i feel fall
i can smell it in the air
i can taste it
all the spices of the winds
you can't retrace it
see the colors spread in reds and golds
yellow tints and browns,
and folds within
a banquet of mesmerize
a fall of mystication

but none of fall so falling
but the chill within the air
as i stand
beside the strangers calling out to
mistress fair

her rounded pale cheeks
and her runic rustic hair
her voice is smooth as cider
and her touch as soft as flair

she is beautiful by far than the
Lisa, Mona smile
and the tinkling of her step upon the ground
calls the hounds to beg, beg, beg
and the tinkling on the ground will call the hounds

yes my dearest dearest
she is fall herself
her small indignant fingers
waver in a quaver in a runic sort of fashion
and her breath the chill of winters trumpet
dangling at her beckon call

she will last forever
she is never ever better
if you strive to hear her calling
you will never see her falling
though her name quite a deceit upon the tame
though she is fall
she will never
though she is fall
she will never
ever

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10/25/2009 - mistress of the fall
Posted in Unspecified

Mistress of the fall
you lie in wait
what you cant take
you kill
death
the dead
and dying
what you heal you cannot feel
it makes no matter in this deal


mistress of the fall
your wheels have spun
and spun again
through bitter winds
the piercing chill
the frost pressed down
on eager sunrise
never waits for it's disguise

mistress of the fall
you beckon me with
every call
i gasp and cower
knees quake
the mountains roll
and you forever
a rusty brown foal

mistress of the fall
why does thee wait
for canons fire
for rusty quake
you tumble into
winters breast
a thrumming rumble
at best


mistress of the fall
why do you call
ever so ever so

mistress of the fall
though you never
you are won to
gods of runic breeze
and elk

and linen trees

mistress of the fall
i beseech thee
at your chilled and porcelain feet
i beseech thee

lend me your wisdom
to pick up with my fall
lend me your breath
that i might chill with the stall
your voice that i might carry through
the winds a rival beckoning flag
through the seasons of my dispares

mistress of the fall
i beg thee
knee upon dirt
i gravel to you
weep at your auburn robes
dry my tears
in your rustic blood hair

mistress of the fall
i will be your death
in the barren linen trees
to the leaves that fall
i am your beloved death
my repose to you
as i fall

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10/19/2009 - My world
Posted in Unspecified

take me through the valleys
take me through the snow
to sleep and to breath
to carry on with the flow

follow me into twilight
follow me into the night
a bitter dream holds no place here
out among the stars
in the midst of the region wide


here in my world
there are no scares
only blood and broken wings
and the children of dead things


here in my hands i hold no flame
only dust bitter dust
only dust to be scattered in the wind

here in my night
i am cold i seek no light
only him the one that holds me close
only him the one that stands to my vast repose




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10/18/2009 - bound by the pen
Posted in Unspecified

i am bitter today and lonely.
today i want to crawl into a hole and hide the world from me,
 because i am no good for the world right now,
because i am poison and tainted,
because i will hurt and be ravenous,
 because the animal in me is hatred and loathing,
because i want to destroy,
 because right now i want to hurt,
 to feel it,
i want to die again to make them pay to show them what they have created,
 to show them what it is they fear
 because i am not me anymore
 because i do not want to feel anymore
because it will not let me go
 i am bound by the tip of a pen
and it wont let me go
 
i have sold my emotions to ink and stale paper
and there fore have only the right to feel that which the pen has givin permission to feel
 it was the price i paid to write,
 to feel whatever the pen wants to write
 to remember and to remember
and to die over and over and over again
and people will read it
and people will love it
and they will never know the blood i have spilled
so the pen could write

the tears that fall with every slap of every word
 and every claw digging into my back
with every curse i have ever written
has been that which the pen has ordered
it is too late i have already made my choice
it is to late'

 do you know how many times i have died,
how many tomorrows i have seen
my cards were played long before i was real
 and every time i awake another little piece is gone
a little less humanity
 a little more hate
 i will die and die again
until i have no more left
 but they will know my words
and then it will matter not
that i have ever lived

 it is a never ending cycle
each life i live
 i will live in death
i could beg you to stop it
 i could beg you for a solution 
i could cry for you to end it
and still half of me wants it needs it
 can't survive without it

the same pain that is killing me
 is the same pain that is keeping me alive
how do you become hate and sadness
without the misery of both
why do i have to bleed
why do i have to be the guardian
 the protector
why do they have to look up to me

can't they see what i am
don't they see the same poison i protect them from
is exactly the same poison i am made of
that the dark is what i have sworn myself to
in the light of good
that i am the black in spite of the light
why don't they see it

why don't they run
 
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