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Labyrinth of the Mind

The Horror!

Posted in Thoughts

I had a most terrifying encounter!

I just finished playing the Wii and turned it off and the TV came on, and I don't know what was one, or what channel it was on, all I know is this horrifying image appeared on the TV screen, at first I was not quite sure what it was. I thought it may have an evil clown and yet I was paralyzed and could not bring myself to look away from this grotesque image, as I watched in a stupefied wonder trying to figure just what the heck was being transfixed over the air waves.  



And then I realized what it was, and I am not exaggerating here, it was an old woman who literally looked exactly like a ventriloquist dummy. Her lips were painting in this bright red color which looked like the color used to paint the lips of ventriloquist dummies, and her skin was really pale, she had these freaky eyes, and there were these folds in her skin along her jaw which looked exactly like the joint of the dummies moth that allow it to open and close.

Making fun of the elderly might sound mean, but trust me, if you had seen it, you would know exactly what I mean, it was like something out of a horror movie, and it just may give me nightmares.

11:21 PM - 6/7/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Police Gun Down Deer

Posted in Rants

As you well know I do not typically talk about anything polical, or current event, or new related, becasue that is just not my thing and usually I do not find such things interesting, and there are many other soruces which dedicate themselves to such subjects, but I do make exceptions at times when I get really pissed off about something as is the case now.  

I swear the Oakland police force are just a bunch of trigger happy yahoos, who will use any excuse they can to shoot and kill anything that moves if they think there is even a minute possibility that they have just enough cause to get away with it. I have just recently heard a story in which police officers gunned down a small male deer without any probable cause (they and no one else was in any true danger from the animal, and animal control was called an on the way). The deer was spotted running down along a road and for reasons unknown the cops chased it down in their car, until out of fear it hoped a fence into a residential area, the cops eventuated the area and the deer was simply startled, and disoriented when the police made the choice to simply gun it down and used unnecessary force and violence to slaughter the animal. 


9:34 PM - 5/3/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Reading List {Updated}

Posted in Books
I had to renovate my reading list, becasue my reading habits had become more chaotic and harder to keep track of under the old system I used. I have now broken my reading down into catagogries.

Genereal Reading: the books within my normal reading cycle, and that I am reading purely for personal pleasure.

Monthly Reading: Book I am reading for online reading groups I belong to.

Non-Fiction: Self-explanatory, basically any non-fiction book I happen to be reading in addition to my other readings.

Reading on the Side: Any extra, miscellaneous books I happen to be reading in addition to my other reading.

 

General Reading

 

Lord of Chaos

 

Sarum

 

River God

 

Gather if Clouds

 

Koko

 

Stone of Tears

 

The Agony and the Ecstasy

 

The Quincunx

 

People of the River

 

The Running of the Tide

 

The God of Small Things

 

Monthly Reading

 

Vanity Fair

 

The Outlander

 

The Silence of the Lambs

 

 

Non-Fiction

 

The Gangs of New York

 

Reading on the Side

 

World of Wonders 

 

The Bottle Imp

 

Bluebeards Egg and other stories

 

 

11:23 PM - 5/2/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

The Gems of Late Night TV

Posted in Humur

I was flipping through the channels trying to find acceptable to put on the TV and by that I mean anything which would not drive me to the point of annoyance to have playing on in the background, which there never is on Friday's but there is abolsutely nothing else to do at this point in time but be painstakingly board.

When I happened to come across some across some local public access channel and it was some sort of documentary thing about this couple that had this kid that had some illness or other, and well normally I would not pause a moment on anything having to do with children, but some time ago when I was in a hotel with limited channels I reemerged coming across a similar looking program which was about psychotic children, like literally actually certifiably psycho pathetic, which needless to say the macabre part of myself found quite interesting, so I thought it had the potential to be something along similar lines as that and well with nothing else to do my curiosity was piqued enough to try and at least find out just what they were talking about.

Well they were interviewing these different pediatricians and there was this one guy, who trust me, I am not at all exaggerating, literally looked like he was a doctor from the 1800's. He was wearing a black suit jacket over a white shirt, but than had his stethoscope draped over his shoulder, and he had that crazy hair, where it is like part beard part sideburns, so it is just these big patches of hair on either side of his face. I was memorized because I could not believe what I was seeing, because everything else in the show looked like it was modern day and they did not have video cameras in the 1800's, so I had no idea as to what was going on with that.

But seriously, who is going to go to see the doctor who looks as if he might still find bleeding an effective method of medical treatment? Who is going to go the guy who looks like he might say, take a shot of this whiskey and than bite down on a stick why I cut you open with a saw.  

Though after that like weird bazaar little moment the show became much less interesting and did not hold my attention long to find out what they were actually talking about.

9:36 PM - 4/30/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

A Walk on the Wildside

Posted in Confessional

Today I found myself sitting around with not much to do and excess free time upon my minds, and when I get bored it is never a good thing, most of my blogs were born out of my fits of boredom. In such a state I am driven to do things I would not normally down when still thinking rationally, so I was stricken within the sudden idea to take some photos of myself in the persona of Persephone the goddess of spring after all now is the season to do her homage and honor. For the aesthetic and artistic purposes of the photo I was partially nude, wearing only a skirt and thus being topless. It was all done in a very tasteful, innocent way to embrace the essence of the goddess being born again into the light of day and released from the darkness of the underworld. Well I got this sudden wild idea to go out on a limb and uploaded the picture of me onto my DA gallery.  

It was the first time I have ever done such a thing before but in the nature of the Pagan spirit in embracing nudity as something pure and natural I thought I would be bold and take a walk on the wild side, to say the least I received a lot of really positive feedback and so I was encouraged to go through my archives and upload some older photos of a similar nature I had originally taken for personal private reasons.

It is an interesting experiment for me and stepping outside of myself.

11:41 PM - 4/24/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Feminine Evil

Posted in In Praise Of

 

Feminine Evil by Albert Penot

5:10 PM - 4/10/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Clash of the Titans

Posted in Movies
Of course upon seeing the previews for Clash of the Titan's I just had to see the movie, and I have to say I was left a bit disappointed. I think part of it was the fact that my hype was built up too much and my expectations were set too high I also think part of the problem was my own skewed perceptions. The movie did have some rather cool scenes and some great shots. It had some very appealing visuals, and I cannot say that the story was bad but it was quite obnoxious to me.
 
Naturally one of the big gist problems was the fact that it should come as no surprise that I was not exactly on the side of the humans, I thought they were acting like sniveling ingrates, who seemed to forget the very important fact that, hello, they would not even be living and breathing at all if the gods hadn't created them, and yet they think they then can become better than the gods? It seems to me that all myths end up coming to the same basic conclusion, creating humans ended up being a very bad idea.

Which leads me into the next problem I had with the movie was the fact that I wanted more of the gods. It was quite a disappointment that for one thing Poseidon did not appear at all within the movie, I do have some partiality to him, and other than Zeus and Hades, neon of the other gods were really given much of a roll at all. Hades though I do have to admit was pretty wickedly awesome.

There is also the fact that I have never really been a fan of Perseus, and well the Greek Heroes in general often tend to come across as being unbearably obnoxious. Perseus was an arrogant, prideful, Hubris filled spoiled little brat. And of course the whole Medusa myth always makes me mad. Medusa looked awesome in the movie, but of course it was inevitable that she could not win, and the slaying of Medusa was a thoroughly unjust act.

One of the coolest part of the movies was the jin, mysterious, no longer human desert dwellers that control giant scorpions, also Charon was pretty awesome. 

11:05 PM - 4/3/2010 - comments {2} - post comment

Irish Soul

Posted in Poetry
Irish Soul
 
The echoes of the past
roar in a the ever present thunder
of waves beating against the rocky shore,
where ghosts seem to linger behind every
turn of stone, and history breathes
within the sighs of the wind,
which still carry faintly the music
of the bards which once prevailed.
 
In the passing years,
beneath the yolk of the church
which now appears to prevail,
there is an ancient voice
that will not be eclipsed
and still the lore of the
Druid's live upon the lips,
and within the hearts
of the people.
 
The legend of the fae,
and the spirit of the land
remain just as pervasive
upon this day as it was through
the centuries more than thousands of  years
ago.
 
It is the Heathen soul
which will always be kept alive,
and never broken
or forsaken,
however others may try,
the power still beats strong
of the mysteries once held,
a mystic thread never to be severed.

11:32 PM - 3/17/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Caught Between Worlds

Posted in Books

From Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse

 

These horrors were really nonexistent. A man of the Middle Ages would detest the whole mode of our present-day life as something far more than horrible, fare more than barbarous. Every age, every culture, every custom and tradition has its own character, its own weakness and its own strength, its beauties, and ugliness; accepts certain sufferings as matters of course, puts up patiently with certain evils. Human life is reduced to real suffering, to hell, only when two ages, two cultures, and religions overlap. A man of the Classical age who had to live in medieval times would suffocate miserably just as a savage does in the midst of our civilization.

4:30 PM - 3/15/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Animals Are More Right Than Men

Posted in Books
From Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse
 
How absurd those words are, such as beast, and beast of prey. One should not speak of animals in that way. They may be terrible sometimes, but they're  much more right than men.
 
Well look at an animal, a cat, a dog, or a bird, or one of those beautiful great beasts in the zoo, a puma, or a giraffe. You can't help seeing all of them are right. They're never in any embarrassment. They always know what to do and how to behave themselves. They don't flatter and they don't intrude. They don't pretend. They are as they are, like stones or flowers or stars in the sky.

3:50 PM - 3/15/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

For Lost Fans

Posted in Thoughts
As I have mentioned here before a couple of times I LOVE the show Lost and I am totally hyped about the final season for I cannot wait to see just where they will take this wild ride which they have lead the viewers on.
 
Well for the final season Lost is hosting a promo contest in which viewers can make their own 30 second proms for the Final Season and the winner will have theirs aired on TV during Lost.
 
I decided to give it a try (I am so excited I already have a 3 star rating and I just did it last night)
 
So check out my totally awesome promo and give me a good rating then if it wins you can brag to all your friends that you know me
 
 
P.S. Even if you don't like lost you can still give me a good rating

9:42 AM - 3/10/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Steppenwolf

Posted in Books

I have found myself thrown into one of my obsessions again. Those that are such rare delights to be savored and burst within my soul, speaking to me upon such deep depths in which I feel a connection spark, and an understanding born within me. I am speaking of course of another one of my literary obsessions in which a book so suddenly, unexpectedly reaches out and grabs me by the throat and refuses to let me go. Which I consume with greedy hunger and yet never want it to end. Where I see a flicker of myself reflected back at me within the written words of the author.

 

I have recently started reading Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse, who I think is a fabulous author, I remember how deeply he spoke to me and touched me with Siddhartha, which for me was a highly influential and inspirational book and I think also a book I read just at the right moment in my life. Now he has done it again with Steppenwolf. I was transfixed by the very first sentence and drawn into this marvelously irresistible story. A book that every time I pick it up I feel I have come away with another burst of enlightenment. It looks within and speaks directly to me.

 

The very premises of the book is a concept of which I cannot help but to find irresistible and fascinating, for it portrays almost a sort of psychological Lycanthropy. It is a philosophical and psychological way of examining that aspect within us where we are torn between our rational mind and the baser natural instincts, which werewolf lore stems from. The difference between the "beast" and the "man." In which the narrator of the story is the Steppenwolf, which means "Wolf of the steppes" which is a lone wolf character who is isolated from the rest of society because of his awareness of the fact that he is different, that he is divided into these two selves, the man and the wolf, and yet he cannot find harmony between these selves which torments him and leaves him completely alone feeling like he does not belong, where there is no place for him.

 

But beyond that, the truth is even deeper. Hesse spent a great deal of time studying the Eastern Philosophies and religions, and so this concept of the Steppenwolf is only a fraction of the truth, only a sliver of seeing through the illusion the fact we are in fact made up of many several "selves" that we consist of countless different identities, though most of us can only see in the singular, while the Steppenwolf is aware that there is more than one self within him, he is unable to embrace the enormity of the truth and so he sees himself as being divided only between two different halves.

7:40 PM - 3/8/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Infertile Wishes

Posted in Poetry
Infertile Wishes
 
The world is carved
unfair with a taste of
bitter irony,
cynically
we can only but laugh
if we wish to stay sane.
 
This "gift"
as other's would have it,
so neatly coveted
among those cruelly denied,
while I look in disdain
and squander it
without gratitude
for the condition.
 
What they remorse in
gladly I would
bear their unnatural
naturalness
the dead inside,
which for me
would mean
a simple convenience
and a preferable
state of things.
 
For all the useless
surgeries which have been
conceived
for mere purposes of vanity,
I would happily
give up my womb
to another in exchange
for one that does not produce.
 
To sit there dead inside me,
what others may dread
I should be quite
contended with.
 
I have no need for
ovulation,
it is but a burden to me,
give me instead
empty silence,
dark hallow chambers,
while another
desirous of the sacred right
of motherhood
denied by nature
might instead take of mine
what I would toss aside.

5:13 PM - 2/24/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Comin Thro' the Rye

Posted in In Praise Of

In honor of the death of the great J.D. Salinger I have been re-reading The Catcher in the Rye, and within the book Holden refers to a song with the lyric "if a body catch a body coming thru the rye" so I was compelled to look it up and discovered it came from a Robert Burns poem/song called Comin Thro' the Rye (no doubt the books namesake) and though perhaps I am just biased because of my great love of "The Catcher in the Rye" but upon reading the poem, I find it irresistably appealing.

 

O, Jenny's a' weet, poor body,
  Jenny's seldom dry:
She draigl't a' her petticoatie,
  Comin thro' the rye!

Comin thro' the rye, poor body,
  Comin thro' the rye,
She draigl't a' her petticoatie,
  Comin thro' the rye!

Gin a body meet a body
  Comin thro' the rye,
Gin a body kiss a body,
  Need a body cry?

Gin a body meet a body
  Comin thro' the glen,
Gin a body kiss a body,
  Need the warl' ken?

Gin a body meet a body
  Comin thro' the grain;
Gin a body kiss a body,
  The thing's a body's ain.

 

 

1:42 PM - 2/23/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Wonders Never Cease

Posted in Rants
People rarely fail to amaze me, but often in less than flattering ways. I have alluded to on this forum a couple different times, one of my other blogs in which I write about topics relating to vampires, mythology, things of lore and of gothic nature and so forth, so I had an essay I wrote on my blog in which I give my own personal interpretation of the Medusa myth, and I state that it is My Personal interpretation. I was not trying to rewrite history, nor was I claiming my views were one in the same with the historical intent, it was pure and simple what I read into the myth.
 
I get this comment from some guy who actually tells me that my personal interpretation of a work of mythology is incorrect.
 
Now first of all that statement to me is ludicrous on so many different levels.
 
First of all who determines that there is only one finite absolute correct way to interpret a work of mythology?
 
By what authority is he the one to thus determine that the one and only possibility interpretation of a myth is?
 
And how exactly can ones perception of something that is subjective, filled with symbolism and metaphor, and of a physiological and spiritual nature, and filled with subconscious suggestion be right or wrong?
 
Even with so called historical "facts" where there is psychical, tangible evidence there are different interpretations of what it all means. All history is, is someone else's version of what they perceive happened, though they have good reason for building those arguments. If you gathered 5 scholars together who all studied the exact same thing, odds are you will end up with 5 different theories.
 
And has he not heard of this little thing called the Bible in which wars have been started over arguing over varying different interpretations of the work, but than maybe he could everyone a big favor by stepping in and explaining to everyone what the one, absolute correct interpretation really is.
 
So anyway that is more or less how I basically responded to his comments and he countered with arguments basically about why apparently I don't have the right to have my own personal interpretations of works of mythology.
 
Well while I was still in the process of contemplating just how I was going to respond to his arguments (and to this point while there may have been some sarcasm on both sides, it had still progressed in a rather intelligent way) but before I even have the chance to respond to his latest arguments, I get another comment from him, that was just a completely immature, unprovoked personal attack against me.
 
In which he states that I have crackpot interests and pass times (which granted may be true) and that the ability and skill to set up a web site is no indicator of intelligence.
 
To say the least after that I had no intention of further attempting to have an intelligent conversation with him, and giving a dignified response to his arguments, for as far I was concerned he had just disproved his own intelligence to me.
 
So instead this is what I said in response:
 
Hmm that is like the pot calling the kettle black. Though I disagreed with you I still formerly thought you displayed some intelligence in your arguments but your sudden need to make immature personal remarks completely unprovoked does go a long way to discredit what you have previously said.
 
You could have made your point a lot better without lowering yourself to remarks worthy of the schoolyard.

9:08 PM - 2/18/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

The Popularity Contest of the Olympics

Posted in Thoughts
 I never much cared for figure skating, that is as an Olympic event to watch, especially not the paired skating. For one thing because I find it quite boring to watch and for two because well it is quite pointless, I don't even know why they bother having rules, the judges or just going to give points to whoever they personally like at the time.
 
Even though ice skaters are all a bunch of prima donnas, when you are in the Olympics, you are suppose to be the best there is what you do, the most skilled and talented, and the purpose of the Olympics is to award the top athletes, the best of the best, the ones who display above all others the most skilled technique and have the most perfect performances and prove superior to their competitors.
 
So as far as I am concerned in ice skating if you eat the ice, clean it up with your rear, fall flat out on your face, than that is it, you don't get a score, end of the story, it sucks to be you but you are done.
 
But I think I figured out the unspoken truth, figure skating is the "feel good" sport, in which if you fall you actually get more points because the judges don't want you to feel bad about it.
 
There was this couple and in their first routine, they skated a flawless routine, no mistakes, they hit all the marks perfectly, and they ended up being criticized for not showing enough "passion" in their routine, and not being committed enough to their choreography. And ended up in 6th place for it. 
 
Well in their second routine on one of their jumps the guy completely ate the ice, fell flat out on his face, was down completely on the ice and for that they ended up in 1st place.
 
No wonder skaters keep falling all over the place, because they know it really doesn't matter in fact, you have more of a chance of winning if you fall compared to someone who doesn't fall, especially if the couple who actually skates well are not ice divas who have well known faces and names, and long tragic life stories.

11:31 PM - 2/15/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

The Painted Whore

Posted in Poetry
The Painted Whore
 
She was condemned to death
by the House built upon hypocrisy,
when she was forced to watch
as those who danced beneath the moon
were put to slaughter, their spirituality
ripped from within their breast
to be force fed the ideology
of another.
 
She rose above to command
her own armies to defend the livelihood
which has lived long before word spread
in the wind of this new found deity,
for her courage and her strength,
her defiance against the burning hate
she was labeled by the men who walked
beneath the banner of their "God of Peace"
as villain most vile and an embodiment of evil.
 
While they preach their stories of a God
whom commanded his love be proved through
a man's willingness to put to slaughter
his only son, she was demonized by
whispered rumors of children put to death
upon heathen altars.
 
Believing their righteousness is found
within their masculinity, but because she
instead did not bow upon her knees before them
in proper humility, rather embraced
the power of her feminity, because her lips
were painted red, and she laughed in the face
of their God with scorn, she was thrown from her
tower and they danced with glee as wild dogs
ripped her to shreds.
 
And yet, they still contest that she
was the evil one.

5:56 PM - 2/15/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

You Were Never the One

Posted in Poetry
You Were Never the One
 
It was
raw animal
magnetism
 
Static electricity
which set off
a spark
of attraction
like synapses
firing
 
Undeniably
a pull is felt
caught within
charisma's
web
 
Enhanced
by rare
wisps
of tenderness
 
Small fires
still burn
a candle kept
not snuffed out
 
Still
drawn apart
our lives
would never
fit together
in completion
like
yin & yang
 
Primitive
wantings
of the body
invariably
suspended
 
Not quite lust
not enough love
but a friction
unfading
requiring
to be placed
aside
 
Never to break
into the light of day
but only to live
in passing
private
moments
of the mind.

11:08 PM - 2/11/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Is it just me or is it you?

Posted in Books

I first started reading Mario Puzo when I was in high school and became a fast fan of his work. Part of it was driven by my interest within the Mafia which developed during high school after my discovery that the Mafia is part of my own family history, but beyond that I became captivated by his writing.

I find Puzo to be an engaging and talented writer. Fools Die was a marvelous book, one of my all time favorites of Puzo's. A captivating reed and extremely well executed that had me hooked from start to finish.

 

The Last Don was also quite a brilliant work and comes in closely behind Fools Die. Another work of great skill and depth.

One of the things which does provide through Puzo's work is the complexity and depth of his characters, the interesting and intricate plots, as well as his skillful prose work which grabs the reader by the throat and doesn't let go.

 

Well I recently started reading Omerta, which was published the year after Puzo died, and I instantly could tell something was drastically wrong.

At first I was conflicted with myself, as it had been a long time since the I have read Puzo, could my memory have failed me? Or could my future reading ventures have changed my perception of good writing?

 

I could not convince myself that my memory and my taste could have been so drastically deluded and wrong.

 

But Omerta was nothing like what I remember from Puzo's past works. Omerta comes off as shallow, the characters are not as well carved out and brought into full flesh and blood. The plot it fairly simplistic and lacks a certain believability. It just was not flushed out with the usual skill, talent, depth, expected. It reads like a cheap thriller.

I had began to have growing suspicions that Puzo never actually completely the manuscript and in fact it was completely be someone else after his death. I researched his subject but could not find much information to support the idea. I only found one review written by someone who seemed to hold the same opinion as I did.

 

I am left quite disappointed and baffled by the unfortunate result of this last book by Puzo.

9:22 PM - 2/11/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

Uxorious

Posted in Word of the Day
Uxorious: Excessively found or submissive to a wife

8:57 PM - 2/8/2010 - comments {0} - post comment

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Quote of the Week:  A man whois master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. ~ Oscar Wilde
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