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| Labyrinth of the Mind |
UxoriousUxorious: Excessively found or submissive to a wife8:57 PM - 2/8/2010 - comments {0} - post commentThe Death of a TribeThe Death of a TribeA world once held inside, cradled through the avenues of the mind, breathing through memories, racing across the body's planes. So fragile an existence for a nation contained within this solitary vessel, all their knowledge, joy, and sorrows, the many faces now dead live solely through a lone survivor. Vanishing as soon as the last light darkened behind the eyes, with no children to carry the spark beyond she became grandmother of a tribe, keeper of traditions which stretch back through time. The world could shudder and cry at the loss, a civilization left now only scattered bones, gone forever a language which will have no voice to carry its melodies. How many stories now will be left to fall away into the dust, how soon will it be forgotten, along the paths they once walked, just as their footprints have been swept away, so too will the traces of their long yet brief existences on this earth disappear. 11:38 PM - 2/7/2010 - comments {0} - post commentYour Are Not Lost, Yet Cannot Be FoundYour Are Not Lost, Yet Cannot Be Found
Why is it
whenever my feelings are tender
and I am ready to speak
you are nowhere?
And when you appear
I feel myself silenced
by self-doubt
Why is it
that fate has dictated
we never draw near again?
And though I long to reclaim
a lost relic of the past
I know it is impossible
Why is it
life has swept you away
and I confused
caught between my pendulums sway
watched you slip through?
And now there is only dust
upon the shelves
with no hope of returning
to our Eden days
10:27 AM - 2/7/2010 - comments {0} - post commentLove Among Dead StarsLove Among Dead Stars
I slip into you falling into the inky darkness of your love. Tentatively feeling around each other seeking for answers among this graveyard of stars where we find each other. Lying all limbs entangled in figures of infinity there is no beginning there is no end. A perpetual understanding that our universe is defined only by questions so we can only accept the offered embrace. Comforted by the knowledge of each other even if we stand a million miles away. Our souls touch still silently without words without need only in a purity of unity. The oneness we create amid our confused and clumsy efforts to grasp at something more. Content only to slide into the reality of you and me. 10:07 AM - 2/6/2010 - comments {0} - post commentSecrets of Love
6:49 PM - 2/3/2010 - comments {0} - post comment100 Greatest Books {Updated}I came acros this list of what are considered to be the 100 greatest books of the 20th century, I decided that I would reach each of these books, here is the list of books I have read. The numbders in front of the title is the order they appear on the list. The * are a sort of 5 star rating system for how well I liked the book. I will also list if any the books I am in the progress of reading. TBA = To Be Announced
2.The Great Gastby * * * *
10. The Grapes of Wrath * * *
41. Lord of the Flies * * * *
45. The Sun Alos Rises * * * *
48. The Rainbow * * * *
64. The Catcher in the Rye * * * * *
78. Kim * * *
88.The Call of the Wild * * * * *
93. The Maugs * * * * *
21. Henderson the Rain King * * * *
69. The House of Mirth* * * * *
13. 1984 * * *
20. Native Son * * *
9. Sons and Lovers * * * *
31. Animal Farm * * *
3. A Portrait of the Artist As A Yong Man * *
58. The Age of Innocence * * *
15. To The Lighthouse * * *
25. A Passage To India * * * *
65. A Clockwork Orange * * * *
34. A Handful of Dust * * * *
84. The Death of the Heart * * * *
7. Catch-22 * * * *
27. The Ambassadors * * * *
24. Winseburg, Ohio * * * *
14. I, Claudius * * *
79. A Room With A View * * *
54. Light in August * * *
73. The Day of the Locust * * *
36. All the King's Men * *
5. Brave New World * * *
49. Women in Love * * * *
55. On the Road * * *
38. Howards End * * * *
74. A Farewell to Arms * * * *
80. Brideshead Revisited * * * * *
18. Slaughterhouse-Five * * *
Books in Progress:
TBA 9:16 PM - 1/31/2010 - comments {0} - post commentReading List {Updated}I had to renovate my reading list, becasue my reading habits had become more chaotic and harder to keep track of under the old system I used. I have now broken my reading down into catagogries.
General Reading
Lord of Chaos
Sarum
River God
Gather if Clouds
Koko
Stone of Tears
The Agony and the Ecstasy
The Quincunx
People of the River
Under the Sun of Satan
The Many Deaths of the Firefly Brothers
Monthly Reading
Villette
The Tenent of Wilfell Hall
Omerta
The Historian
The Catcher in the Rye
The Lovely Bones Non-Fiction
The Gangs of New York
Reading on the Side
World of Wonders
New Arabian Nights
Bluebeards Egg and other stories
9:09 PM - 1/31/2010 - comments {0} - post commentA Fallen HeroI have just discovered that one of my literary icons has died today. As many of you may know from some of my past writings, J.D. Salinger ranked among my favorite authors and always held a very special place within my thoughts and literary pursuits. Like many of you I first read "Catcher in the Rye" in high school, and I was gripped instantly by the story. I fell in love with Holden as he pulled me long through the trails and experiences of his life. I felt a personal kinship with him, I could relate and identify with him and ever since that has remained one of the most memorable as well as influential books I have read, that has not in all this time since been shaken from its place in the high rankings of my favorites.
And after that I devoured everything by Salinger that I could get my hands on, and was never once disappointed by the experience. There are many who criticize Salinger's writing, particularly for the reoccurring angst which provides though many of his characters and stories, some find it too simplistic, or immature, shallow and lacking in depth, but it was of course that cold biting cynicism which warmed its way into my soul and touched me at the very core speaking to me on very personal levels. I was enchanted by his characters, and I hungered for more of them. They spoke to me directly, touched some imperative cord within my soul. Within the capacity of the author-reader relationship I always felt we had a connection, and understand with each other. In fact many of my own poetic femme fatales were inspired by the works of J.D. Salinger. At times I would tell my friends that I sometimes felt as if I was one of J.D Salinger's characters come to life. There were moments when I felt like a creation of his. Perhaps he was not the most brilliant write ever, and perhaps his works were not pursue great, philosophical, complicated depths and maybe they are not relatable to everyone, but all the same he was a light which illuminated within the dark reaches of this cold heart, and for that he will always be a treasure I cherish. 12:10 PM - 1/28/2010 - comments {0} - post commentWhen You See Only A Stranger in the MirrorWhen You See Only A Stranger in the Mirror
Before the mirror the image reflected
tells a lie and conceals the truth inside;
what the world sees is only a stranger,
a separate being not truly yourself,
but another self that has taken over;
now trapped behind the prison of flesh
others await you to play the part.
Locked alone within the dark
as words obscene dance through your thoughts,
(freak, weirdo, sexual deviant, mentally deranged)
what others would judge if you fail to entertain
their illusion of what identity means,
that the skin you wear on the outside must fit
your feelings on the inside.
Is it a crime if deep within you shelter
a blossoming young woman who only wishes
to be beautiful and have the freedom of expression,
(to where lipstick rosy red, paint her nails pink, strut in high heels, twirling in a swank black dress)
simple pleasures denied when your insides don't match your outsides,
and all you see reflected back to you is misplaced masculinity.
If there were a perfect God somewhere
was it only a cruel joke to be forever
entrapped within the wrong body
crying in the solitude of mockery of those
who demand you dance to their tune of normality.
10:10 AM - 1/27/2010 - comments {0} - post commentWhen He Loves HeWhen He Loves He
Tentively fingers touch with uneven smiles, shyly we advance into our explorations of opposite selves, a purity of a moment sealed in innocent love which unfolds like blossoms of spring may stand condemned in the world's eye, but nothing can tarnish the tenderness of your fingers upon my face when our eyes meet to explode in boundless eternities, quivering as gently as a leaf under the kiss of near still winds our souls are free in the endless possibilities of love born from the beauty offered in your heart, what little difference would be made of like meeting like, what little significance placed upon joint anatomy, if the essence of our feeling could be seen, touched, felt, love they say is blind, but so to, it is sexless, you, my everything, all the world I need, we in sanctuary will love for eternity untarnished. 8:07 PM - 1/23/2010 - comments {0} - post commentDaybreakersI just saw the movie Daybreakers, and I have to say, I was so excited when I first saw the previews for this movie, and could not wait to see it, and I was NOT disappointed. It lived up to its every expectation and than surpassed it. A fabulously done, brilliant vampire movie. In fact one of the best, most clever, unique, and well made vampire movies ever done. There were just so many great elements working together within this film that I do not know where to begin with it.
First of all it combined two of my favorite things together, vampires (of course) and dystopia, and it was the most original and unique story line for vampires that it took vampires into another evolution in the way they are portrayed. The movie was based upon the idea that vampires have taken full power and control over the world, no longer, as so often seen and done before, to they lurk in the shadows, and live as refugees among humans. They became the majority and hold all positions of authority, and they run a civilization much the same as humans, their are vampire politician, vampire police officers. And one of the interesting twists within the movie, is the fact that to say the least there still exists corruption in power, greed, and government. The human race is on the verge of extinction and humans are hunted down to be farmed for the blood but the supply is running out quick. In fact the crisis of blood and the blood shortage can be seen as a parallel to our financial crises which leads me into another one of the very proactive and brilliant things about this film, the sociopolitical aspect of the film. This was not just another typical, run of the mill, high powered action adventure type of vampire film. It was in many ways a finally crafted and intellectual film. One of the scenes early on within the film was just really quite remarkable, in which a desperate vampire, rather clearly paralleling a home lass man is seen upon the streets with a sign around his neck which reads "Hungry in need of blood" and has he harasses this passing couple on the street the cops quickly show up and subdue the vampire. Another one of the great moments of the film was this scene that was reminiscent of Nazi Germany. It is discovered that when the vampires go for too long without blood they begin to change. Which I just have to say is yet another great aspect of this film, the way it played with some of the more common and old school myths and folk lore about vampires, in taking the old idea that vampires have the capability to turn into bats, the vampires which have gone without blood for too long, and out of desperation start feeding upon other vampires or even themselves begin to turn into these creatures that to say the least bare a resemblance to bats, but there is also something rather zombie like in these creatures. They become completely savage, and no longer appear to look like recognizable people, they loose every last aspect of humanity and become completely bestial, because of this they are treated as a nuisance and 3rd rate class. In one scene a group of these creatures are rounded up, put into chains, and exterminated as they are chained to a truck which drives them out into the sunlight. While those watching on cheering for the death are themselves in peril of becoming just like them. The other absolutely brilliant and fantastic aspect of this film was its editing and the very way it was shot. Most particularly, I loved the fact that though it was indeed a very modern film, there was something within it that was reminiscent of old film noir, the way it was shot and its editing gave the modern backdrop a very classic appeal and feeling, and I love modern movies that find clever ways of replicating the classics. 5:46 PM - 1/16/2010 - comments {0} - post commentI love irony....This girl was talking on her cell phone standing behind me, and well she was talking loud enough for anyone within a 30ft radius of her to hear what she was saying, so to say the least I couldn't help but to hear her whether I wanted to or not.
It was evident that she was getting into some sort of argument with someone on the other end of the phone and apparently about some plans they had made or something someone said, whatever the case may be she was yelling at the person on the other end of the phone:
"She ain't at the movies, You are lying, I know for a fact you are lying. You want to know how I know you are lying? Well I am standing in front of the theater right now! As we speak I am standing in front of the theater! And you are lying!"
To say the least, as it so happened, I was not at the theater, she was standing behind me in line at Ross.
2:47 PM - 1/16/2010 - comments {0} - post commentWhat I have learned about birds...1. They are psychic, or have telepathic abilities (that is yet to be determined)
2. They love to torment me 3. They really object to having their photo taken. While I have been suspecting for a while now that there was some conspiracy working against me among the world of my mischievous feathered friends I think today it has been finally confirmed that not only are they in an active pursuit to taunt me, but they also must posses some supernatural ability to so effectively put their plans into operation.
My suspicions that something was afoot were first raised when I was out taking my walk, upon a day on which I quite naturally decided to leave my camera behind, and there within the park I cut through perched upon one of the branches of a tree, which was only but a few feet away from me, was a hawk, whom appeared quite unphased by my appearance and did not in the least stir as I walked by.
Naturally, the next day I brought my trusty camera with me, and do you think there was hide or hair of that hawk anywhere around? Of course not, and ever since, they seemed to have developed the rather convenient way of not being present when I just so happen to be prepared.
Now recently for about week I have been mocked by this great white egret. He has taken to enjoying hanging around the creek upon which I walk by, and the first day I came upon him, perched upon a tree branch I as I prepared to take his picture he naturally takes off in flight.
The suspicious thing about this is the fact, that when I go out without my camera and see him, I will walk right by where he happens to be standing or perched, and he won't budge an inch. Then the other day I saw him again down by the creek, and the creek down this slope and I was at the top of the slope and I got my camera up and read, had the bird in the view of my camera, and at the exact moment that I was bout to hit the button to snap the photo all of the sudden he takes flight.
So today I was getting ready to go out and contemplated taking my camera, but I just had it the other day, and it was pretty foggy out, so I decided to leave it behind. And low and behold I happen upon my egret again perched within a tree, and this time he was like even closer then he usually is when I attempt to take his picture, and I was standing across from where he was in the tree, and he was just chilling there. I thought I would try and trick him to see what would happen, and I brought up my hands, as if I had my camera, and mimed taking a photo of the bird, and guess what? He did not budge an inch.
Well then later as I continue on my way, I am walking along this trail which cuts through the foot hills when up ahead perched upon a fence post, perhaps only a few feet away from me is this big beautiful hawk. I stop and stand right in front of him, and he is not in the least bit phased he just looks me.
You think that would ever happen if I had my camera with me? No, of course not.
12:05 PM - 1/15/2010 - comments {0} - post commentEverlasting BeautyEverlasting BeautyHer elegance becomes her draped within midnight's veil of mystery, as the winds strum sweetly upon the stars to play her serenade. Quivering in ethereal immortality histories silent witness Never changing eternal beauty passing through our lives untouched Countless souls connected through words she inspired Her cold touch ever reaching alights the spirits fire Awed beneath her gaze as she travels through time yet so intimately felt by those caught within her starry webs. 9:58 PM - 1/14/2010 - comments {0} - post commentI may have found a rare species of mushroom...Yes, I know the odds that in my walking around the neighborhood I would so happen to stumble upon some notoriously difficult to find mushroom species, which experts who spend their time traipsing through the forest and know what they are looking for and where to look cannot find, but hey it is possible right?
I was out taking my walk today and I had my camera with me, for one because it had recently rained, so I thought that might help produce some interesting shots, and there is this egret whom has been tormenting me that I wanted to try and catch at last (I failed again there), and I had not been out with my camera in a while.
So I thought to myself since I was out walking around and had my camera why not try and see if I can uncover anything new in the mushroom world for my little project.
And as it happened I did come across this quite curious and rather cool looking mushroom that I had previously not seen before, there were two of them growing together, and one was quite large and round, and they had a sort of lavender tinge to them. I took some pictures and took the smaller of the two with me as a specimen I could study up close to try and identify.
First thing I did was look in one of the nature books I have to see if I could find anything that resembled it in there, and I found this type of mushroom known as Tricholoma that resembled the mushroom I found, so I decided to google it and I did a google image search when I saw a photo that was almost completely identical to my own photograph of the mushroom I found..
When I clicked on the link for the photo I found it was from a really good website that I have frequently used in my mushroom adventures called the mushroomexpert.com, and the page identified the mushroom on their website as being an American Matsutake.
While I was reading about the mushroom one of the things it said about it was that it had a very distinctive smell that was almost spice and foul at the same time, so I took a sniff of my own specimen of the mushroom and I thought that it did seem to have a bit of a tangy scent to it (perhaps that is just physiological), but to say the least I was skeptical of my findings, and I looked through several of the other mushrooms within the Tricholoma family but none so closely resembled the example I found, I even looked up a some different types of mushroom species but I couldn't find any others that looked as similar to the one I found as the Matsutake.
Though of course, in my amateur status I don't consider any of my identifications 100% positive, and there are so many different kinds of mushrooms and so many that do look so much alike there is always room for error.
1:31 PM - 1/14/2010 - comments {1} - post commentFun With FungiThough I cannot stand to eat mushrooms, ever since I was a kid I have had a certain fascination with wild mushrooms. There was always something about them which would draw me in, and that I took delight in. I loved traipsing around my grandma's backyard looking for mushrooms just to study and observe, and to say the least I never quite grew out of my "mushroom phase."I still have a sort of whimsical attachment to the mushroom, part of this reason is because of my ever present obsession with death, and the connection mushrooms have to death. In the literal and rather real since, if one is not careful mushrooms can be deadly as there are many highly poisonous species. As well in the more mythical sense mushrooms have a connection to the Otherworld, they grow up from the ground, and the darkness, and are rooted in the earth, so the come from the world of the dead and connect this world to the next. Along those same lines, another part of the appeal to mushrooms, is there is something arcane about them. They have played an important role for medicinal purposes as well as hallucigens within many different Pagan cultures, and have in old traditions been associated with fairies. So I have decided as a personal project to start working on what I call my Mushroom Book, part of the purpose of this project is, because I have such an interest in mushrooms, to in a creative and engaging way further my own personal knowledge about different types of mushrooms. My book is going to be a documentation of the many variety of different types of mushrooms I come across, which will include photographs of each different specimens, and for my own personal study I will collect samples of the different types of mushrooms in an effort to try and identify what they are. Once I am fairly confident in my identification of the mushroom, I will put together a brief fact sheet of the different properties and characteristics of that particularly type of mushroom. Within I am also thinking about including different legends, myths, and historical information relating to the mushroom. Though the identification part is going to prove to be quite the challenge, because there are so many different types of mushrooms and all look so similar to each other. I have already been stumped upon my first mushroom find. It bares a very strong resemblance to a type of Lactarius, but it lacks the milky secretions within the gills that the Lactarius is known for, but I have yet to find another species that resembles it. Though I am fairly positive that the 2nd specimen I found is a pear-shaped puffball. 1:08 PM - 1/14/2010 - comments {0} - post commentFar Away BoysInspired by the song Far Away Boys by Flogging Molly
Far Away Boys He remembers a pair of eyes green as the Emerald Isle, her smile, morning sunshine sweet gentle warmth, as they fade away into the dust and dirt, the vast land of endless beige sand and a sun that was not a lover nor a friend. Far away boys Far away boys In a stolen scrap of shade he will drift away to the taste of her lips, never to forget her precious scent but awakened to gun smoke and only blood upon cracked lips which haven't been touched in longer then he can recall. Far away boys Far away boys The seasons pass unnoticed here as they tell him when Summer slid into Winter and Spring waits upon the crest, but instead of life he finds only more death and a growing will to die. Beneath the heart and relentless pain, again he'll close his eyes to slip away into her waiting arms, and there she glows an angle to set him free. Far away boys Far away boys He knows this vision of her face is the last he'll ever see as her image disappears into sand "I'll see you in Hell boys" the last words he ever hears and he will die within her arms to whisper sweet good-bye upon the burning winds, he won't come home again. Far away boys far away....... 9:53 PM - 1/5/2010 - comments {0} - post commentYou Are My EarthYou Are My Earth
You are my Earth
steady beneath my feet
you carry your own
gravitational pull
that brings me down
into your warm comfort
which does not fail
nor recede
but remains
to sustain me.
As I am like the wind
ill-tempered
without warning
given to bursts of tantrums
unpredictable
sometimes biting cold
through the bones
or an angry hot breath
but on gentle mornings
and winter nights
a whisper in your ear
a reminder
that even when still
always here.
You are vital water
my sustaining nourishment
a cool comfort
ready to embrace
engulfing me
a thousand lapping tongues
welcome me
you alter your course
with the shifting tides
and down beneath
hide the power
which may at a moment
be unleashed
an unstoppable force
but you cradle my falls
and carry me on.
While I burn hot like a fire
devouring destruction
consuming all within my rages
spreading quickly without mercy
swift to ignite I blaze my own path
leaving behind only the ash
but when tempered
I warm you on cold nights
I can build walls of flame around you
against the world and light
your way through the darkness.
You anchor me down
and hold me back
you are the cooling touch
to soothe my wrath
you are the grounding earth
to my unstable winds
you are the rejuvenating waters
to my scorching infernos.
8:50 PM - 1/4/2010 - comments {0} - post commentThe Girl and Her NameThe Girl and Her Name
She had a name like
some exotic far away
with syllables rolling off the tongue
which made you think
of sensual hip swaying,
suggestions of perfumed silk
and a dance in smokey dens,
you would believe the stars
lived within her eyes,
and her hair rolled in black
midnight.
But as the wind sighs
that was only a name,
a sound like a song,
and what the melody could
conjure up like a breath that
escapes, vanishing into space.
She was not her name,
and once the fixation
with her vowels began to fade
away, only she is left
within its place, a girl
who was not born upon a desert island
with eyes that never glimpsed the
cosmos.
But she could not be blamed
for never understanding how her name
became an entity beyond the reach
of her narrow grip.
10:07 PM - 1/3/2010 - comments {0} - post commentMy Lady ChaosMy Lady Chaos
Her eyes flayed me
into ribbons
as the venom
upon her lips
burns through me.
We watch
the night turn red
and I feel the fire
of her nails
peel away my flesh.
My breath
stands still
like a stagnant pool
imagining the hum
of breeding
mosquitoes
waiting
to eat me
alive
from the inside.
And she laughs
with the grate
of sandpaper
all gravel
and broken glass.
Her smile
splits open the sky
and the rain
like knives
lances though
whatever is left of me.
Broken upon
the rocks of her caresses
smashed
into her jagged sides
there is no illusion
I live so she can
tear me down.
In the end
rendered
by your
affection.
8:21 PM - 1/2/2010 - comments {0} - post comment
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