A Lesson Learned

We are all familler with the old clique fight fire with fire, and even I had in the past made the folly of following this advice and doing just though, but I have come to learn that doing so really does not accomplish anything and it is just a trap to fall into, but I have recently come to discover a better way of doing things and adopted my own philosophy upon the matter.

Say, for instance you are getting into a debate, or having a disagrement with someone, and the other person goes off the deep end, and engages in offering a few low blows, and begins down the road of peronal attack, no intially you are angery and it might be tempting to respond in kind and start a flame war with this person, which would result in the constant bickering back and forth, and resolve nothing, as well as confirming thier assumptions about you, and making you both look like iditots, though it might feel momentrairly good to get in a few shots, as you would feel justified in doing so, it will not have any real effect upon them but make them angerier and cause them to retaliate against you and so on and so forth.

Instead there is a better way of doing things, which I have found works quite well. I call it fighting fire with water, perhaps not very orginal, but makes sense does it not?

The idea behind fighting fire with water is this, do not respond to a person when you are angery, first take some time to get level headed, do what you have to do, rant off about the person to a friend to get it out of your system, or in a journal, take a walk, do something you find claming, whatever, once you have it all out, and do not feel the sting of anger then you respond to them. And you do so in a way that is rational, civil, and calm.

That is not to say I am suggestion forgiving what they have said, or exusiting it and letting it go unanswered, not at all, by all means confront them but do so with your wits about you, instead of just lashing out at them, point out to them the fallices they have made and reveal to them just what an ass they made of themselves without using any unescnary insults that will not help your cause.

If you do this, then unless they want to make more of an ass of themselves it will be almost impossible for them to respond in a ranting raving way, and they will be forced to put themselves in check and it will help to make you come off as being the more sane one which will garner more outside support to your side.

The reason I call this fighting fire with water, is becasue it is a very cool, calm, collected way of dealing with things, and it does quell the intial flame.

9:44 PM - 2/9/2006 - post comment

For though All are not able to write books, all conceive themselves able to judge them. ~The Monk

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