The Tale of Dametirus Spalding

The Tale of Dametrius Spalding

Northfield appeared to be like any other library, not distinguishable from any other, but there was something that made it stand out from all the rest. Just within, upon a small wooden table within the center of the library where people came and went, passing inside, slipping back out, returning books, or checking them out, there was a round clear bowl filled with water in which Dametrius Spalding floated within. Yes, he was a goldfish, a rather large goldfish but a goldfish nonetheless. But he was not just any goldfish you see. For one thing which you noticed right away was that cap he wore upon his head, and the pipe within his mouth, a mimicry of none other then Sherlock Holmes, now if this was not strange enough for a goldfish he had a very unique gift. He could talk, more or less. He did not speak quite like you or me, but rather he projected his thoughts into the minds of others. Dametrius Spalding was in fact telepathic; now weather he could equally read the thoughts of others we may never know for he is not sharing if he can.

Now one might wonder just where Northfield might have acquired such a fish as this, as unordinary as the library was, in an equally unordinary town filled with unordinary people, well they do not quite know themselves. But rather one day when Ms. Belittle was coming up the steps to open up, for you see she is the librarian, she had been for many years now, she found the bowl with the fish already in costume on the porch in just in front of the door. Ms. Belittle, who was a mousey sort of woman, thin as a rail with now gray hair that stuck out every which way from under her hat, who looked as if she could be 100, would find this quite odd, but all the same she leaned down to pick up the bowl and looked within with her wire rim glasses with the heavy gold eyeglass chains hanging down so she might not loose them. She stared within the bowl, holding it up to her face, when she heard something, or thought she did at any rate it was very nearly the end of it all. “Pardon me My Lady, but do you mind? Let us be honest with each other shall we? You are not quite the looker you might have been so I need not be offered such a painfully close look” Upon hearing this she gave quite the start and nearly dropped the bowl all together, it teetered for a moment, a few drops of water splashing out upon the concrete before she regained control. Looking around a bit muddled she saw none. Thinking perhaps it was just kids hiding around the corner or in the bushes she gave a shake of her head and unlocked the door to walk inside the bowl in hand.

Upon a table within the center of the library their had been a vase of flowers, Ms. Belittle would remove the vase and place the fish bowl there instead and then she walked back to the front desk and set the vase there, and that is how Dametrius Spalding came to be within Northfield, wherever he came from, and whoever left him behind upon that doorstep he would never say, but he seemed to enjoy his new home within the library, by now he has been there for 5 years, and yes Ms. Belittle too is still there working, looking exactly as she did 5 years ago. Nobody really knows the odd goldfish’s secret, oh yes people would have strange occurrences much like Ms. Belittle had in the beginning but much like her, they would find some way to explain it away and then forget it ever happened.

Bringing things back into the present, just now it was noonish and there remained a few people lingering about within the library, roaming the aisles or sitting here and there reading, when a blond headed boy with short slightly prickly hair, perhaps 8 years old or so would make his way up to the fish bowl, there was something about a goldfish that tended to draw a great deal of attention and Dametrius Spalding received a good many visitors weather he liked it or not, now this particular young boy would commit the sin of all sins in the world of goldfish and fellow water dwelling creatures, he would take one of his dirty little fingers with an evil little grin upon his face and tap upon the glass, such sending unappealing vibrations through the water. “Excuse me lad, but however would you like it if I came up to your bedroom window and wrapped upon the glass, or better yet what if I tapped you upon the hollow empty head of yours?” The offending young boys eyes grew as wide as saucers and he jumped back tripping over a chair he would fall in a heap with a clatter that would earn disproving looks from fellow patrons of the library, before the boy had a chance to say a thing his mother cuffed him upon the back of the head. “Marcus, mind where you are and be quiet or you can wait in the car.” She spoke in a whisper enough not to garner any more disproval, but loud enough where everyone would hear and be satisfied that the boy was properly dealt with. Of course that is what Dametrius Spalding enjoyed most of all, being the cause of others being scolded, whether it be from Ms. Belittle, or fellow patrons.

It was some 15 min. later that a girl about the boys age would make her way from the children’s area to where Dametrius Spalding floating in his bowl. She had red pigtails and freckles dotting over her face. She stopped just before the bowl as she looked within. “Marcus says you can talk” Now the girl had not done any wrong but do you think that would stop him? Not in the least. “He also said you were pretty,” Dametrius Spalding replied, ‘but at least we know he was right about one thing” Upon hearing this the girl gave a horrified shriek which brought Ms. Belittle up like a shot and she would coming marching from behind her desk to the unfortunate girl, placing her hands upon her hips, or what of them she had. “Mind where you are, either zip it or leave,” she pointed a long bony finger toward the door. The girl quickly shut her mouth then spun upon her heal to run back to where she had come from with Ms. Belittle calling after her “And no running” she then throw her arms up in the air before turning to walk back to her desk, though for a moment she thought she heard a snicker pausing she turned to look around seeing no one else about, or none looking suspicious she shrugged and kept on her way.

There had been times in which Dametrius Spalding had been confused for being a decoration or a toy of some sort opposed to a real life goldfish, for you see for a fish he really did not move around very often. He would spend much time just floating in place in the water without so much as a twitch of the tail or fin, and that combined with odd little costume he wore made him look not quite real. On account of this many people would stop before the bowl just to gaze in it fascinated and trying to figure out if he was truly real or not, to add to this toy like effect, every now and then a few bubbles plopped up to the surface from Dametrius Spalding’s pipe, and well knowing a little about his history as far as it concerns his life within the library, and his personality you can imagine how much Dametrius Spalding enjoyed being gawked at, and you can believe he had something to say to everyone of those gapers.

One such of these occurrences would take place on a Tuesday afternoon when a rather round figure of a man would make his way into the library, he walked with sort of a waddle and was dressed in a casual suit of brown, a cap upon his head to try and hide his thinning hair. He would come through the library doors on his way to wherever he planned on going when he spotted the fish bowl with the strange little goldfish floating within all dressed up. He found this to be a delightful sight and made his way up to the bowl to get a better look. He walked a circle around the bowl as he leaned in close to it and looked within. He thought that it was surely a toy of some sort but of the like he had never seen. Dametrius Spalding was quite aware of this as he floated quite still within the water watching the man wander about the bowl much to his irritation. “I dear say, if you could please not do that, it makes me a tad nervous what you are thinking about, though might I remind you raw fish is quite bad for you” The rather large man jumped back and spun around as he looked about certain there was some kids about who were having a bit of fun but he did not see anyone and his heavy brows drew down. Turning back to the fishbowl he wondered if this were some sort of joke and there was a hidden speaker perhaps in the fish. “That is not very funny” he spoke aloud though too whom he was speaking he did not know, thinking there were some kids near by that were having a joke on him. It was lucky for him the library was not very crowded or he might have drew a bit more attention, as it were the sudden voice would snap Ms. Belittle to attention and she would set the man in her sights waiting for him to err again. “Indeed it is not” Dametrius Spalding would reply, “so if you would not mind take a few steps back, if you are going to have a heart attack I rather it not be where you fall on top of me.” The unfortunate round man was taken aback by this and left speechless as he took a few steps back and looked around bewildered once more, he stammered for a moment then turned and began to make his way briskly out of the library holding back a run until he was out the doors. Ms. Belittle just shook her head and was about to return to her work when she thought she heard a small chuckle her hawk like eyes peering through her glasses she swept over the library with her gaze but saw nothing further out of the ordinary.

Now I know what you must be thinking by now, you get the point already right? So there is a library in which a very unique goldfish happens to live, and said goldfish spends his time insulting poor unsuspecting victims. Well let us move forward into the future now, for as I am sure you know things do not stay the same forever. 5 years later Ms. Belittle would pass away, it had to happen eventually and it came as no surprise when it did, but with her death someone else would have to take her place in the library. Now times had changed since they first hired her, and the age of the image of the mousy old, and assumingly uptight or prudish woman as the typical librarian was long past, though of course they never had the heart to get rid of her and she was good at what she did, but now that she was gone they thought it was time to update a little bit as it were, and the new librarian image was the young high school or college student just looking to make extra money doing easy work. So they hired Chad. Chad came to work everyday directly from school, he was a college freshman and Dametrius Spalding did not like him at all. He had always felt some respect for Ms. Belittle, but this Chad fellow was useless as far as the fish was concerned.

Chad strode into the library everyday dressed in clothing that appeared to be too big for him, and usually always in very loud colors of orange, yellow, red, and sometimes blue. One of his shoes was often untied and he often wore a beanie upon his head. His book bag would be slung over one shoulder as it was his intention to work on his homework while he was allegedly working, he also often came in with one of those ipods stopped up in his ears of which he kept in while he was working, unless someone actually came up to the desk. Dametirus Spalding hatched a plan to try and get rid of Chad.

One day when Chad came into work, though Dametrius Spalding would use that term loosely when referring to Chad, he would stop suddenly before making it to the front desk as it seemed he had noticed Dametirus Spalding for the first time. Dropping his back pack upon the floor he would step closer to the bowl and leaned over all but pressing his face against the glass as he studied the curious fish which floated within. “Now that’s the shit” he said as he reached up with one finger to tap on the glass as if he expected the fish to do something, to perform for him in someway. Dametrius Spalding was neither pleased nor impressed with this. “Now listen here Einstein there are a few things we need to get straight…,” but before he could finish his lecture Chad suddenly stepped back from the bowl and looked around frantically before he reached up for his ipod which he still was wearing with the headphones in his ear. He blinked a few times as he tried to go back and listen again but did not hear anything. A perplexed look came to his face at this. Dametirus Spalding watched all of this and determined that the fool actually thought that device was speaking to him; well this could be amusing and the perfect away to get rid of young Chad. “Pardon me, hello?” Chad blinked as the ipod began to speak to him or so he thought and he held it up in one of his hands as he looked at it. “Yeah?” Oh this was rich Dametirus Spalding thought to himself. “Ah, good there you are, I need you to listen to me and do as I say.” Chad jumped back slightly and dropped the device for a moment then a look of panic came over his face as it hit the floor and he leaned down to pick it up quickly making sure it had not been damaged in anyway before he plugged the head phones back in. “Now was that really necessary? I dear say, to be more careful” Chad turned the device over in his hand as he once more searched the library thinking someone, probably one of his friends was playing some sort of prank on him, but he could not imagine how, “Uh, I am sorry, but you can talk? Who are you?”

Dametrius Spalding would take a moment to mull this over, he wanted it to be good, but not too much or else it might rise suspicion even from this young genius, note the sarcasm in that thought. “Yes, of course I can talk, what do you think I have been doing these past 5 minutes. I am the great Sir Baron Northfield.” Chad stood for a moment dumfounded before something finally seemed to click in that little brain of his. “Northfield? You mean you’re a ghost haunting the library?” He tapped upon the screen of the ipod a few moments before holding it up to his ear and shaking it. What he meant to accomplish by this absurd scene Dametrius Spalding for one did not know, but he did enjoy the show. “Wait! How did you get in there?” Oh this was rich, “Never mind that,” the voice came thundering back into Chad’s ear, “Now listen to me, this is my library, and you will do as I command or…….else….” Let Chad turn that one over in his head a couple of times. “Or else, or else what?” Chad was trying to play it cool, but Dametrius Spalding saw him look around a few times as if excepted to see the looming figure of some long dead ghost and he let out a low chuckle which actually caused Chad to jump back slightly and nearly drop the ipod once more as he juggled with it before catching it again and securing his hold. “Hey I told you to be careful with that!” Chad looked down startled then eagerly nodded his head, “Uhh….yeah….I am s-sorry man. So what do you want me to do?” And the bait was bitten. Dametrius Spalding swam once in a circle within his bowl as he would start the plot now. Soon it would be bye bye Chad.

The door was pushed open as a woman came into the library, at first Dametrius Spalding was disappointed, just when he was about to start having his fun, someone had to come in, but then a small bit of glee came over him as he turned to look to the new comer. The woman appeared to be middle-aged, and wore a layer of make-up which had to be a couple inches thick, and smelled as if she doused herself in perfume which had been buried in the attic for decades. She was also dressed all in purples, and immediately reminded Dametirus Spalding of a plum. “Psst,” came the small whisper in the woman’s head and she stopped and looked around before her gaze fell upon Chad, being they were the only two people in the library at the time. She stared at him a moment blankly before she gave a small confused frown. “Is something wrong?” Chad blinked a few times and looked around perplexed. “Uhh…no, why?” Assuming he was just some wise guy she gave a haughty toss of her head and turned to walk on further into the library, before that voice came again. “You know my dear, you look like a plum, and you reek as one that has been left to rot. By the way what are you hiding under that painted mask of yours? The face of Godzilla?” The woman gasped as she froze in her tracks and spun around to face Chad her face twisted in anger. “Pardon me, but who do you think you are? You think you can talk to people like that? I have the right mind to wallop you. Do you speak to your mother like that? I better not here one more word from that mouth of yours.” Chad could only stand there staring at the woman as if she had gone mad. His eyes shifted from side to side before he heard the snicker in his ear and looked back to his ipod which he still held and his eyes flew wide as he gave a small gulp. Waiting until the woman turned away from him again before speaking in a low voice. “Hey, that ain’t cool, what did you say? Don’t do that.” But as soon as the woman had turned her back upon Chad, that voice came again in her mind. “And what if you do, dragon breath?”

As soon as the woman spun around again Chad knew he was in trouble, though a small bit of anger crept into him as he wondered why the ghost, or whatever it was, was playing with him so. He began to back away slowly as the woman shrieked. “What did you say?” Chad began to shake his head as he held up in his hands as if to protect himself. “No…no….it wasn’t me….I..I didn’t say anything…I swear.” The woman stopped a moment with a scowl as she crossed her arms over her chest and tapped one of her feet. “Oh, is that so wise guy, then who said it?” She threw up her arms to gesture around the otherwise empty library. Chad just stared flabbergasted at first, not sure what to say. It was not like she would believe him.

This opportunity was far too perfect for Dametrius Spalding to pass up, he had Chad right were he wanted him and flipped his tail behind him for a moment in his feeling of excitement about what was to happen next. He could only imagine and thus that voice would probe into the poor woman’s mind once more. She was so angry by now she would not notice that as she heard the voice Chad’s lips were not moving. “My dear did you not see the sign posted out front? No pets allowed, this would of course include cows as well.” This was the last straw as they say and the woman gave such a wail she charged right at Chad, by now he was in a state of complete terror and knew there was nothing he could say to this woman so he turned and fled. He ran right out the door without looking back and needless to say he never stepped foot into the library again.

Now you might be wondering what ever became of Northfield Library and our old friend Dametrius Spalding, well it is said that the library is still standing and Dametrius Spalding still remains. There have been several librarians whom have come and gone, some leaving under what is best called unusual circumstances, others lasting longer then others. Stories came to circulate about the library, some suggesting it was in fact haunted, in fact it is said people came just for the hopes of having an “experience” as it has come to be called, though more often then not when they did have said experience they did not find it nearly as awing as they had envisioned. All the while Dametrius Spalding swam just under the radar of suspicion. After all who would believe in a talking fish of all things?

9:53 AM - 5/3/2006 - post comment

Untitled Comment

This was a fun story...the fish's voice turned into Stewie Griffin from Family Guy part way through as I read it...

Sai Madalia - 5:15 PM - 5/3/2006

Thank you

I am glad you enjoyed it. It was suppose just be a fun oddball humor kind of story. Hehe yeah I can kind of see where it might sound like Stewie

Edited by SilverWind on 5/3/2006 at 8:20 PM

SilverWind - 5:20 PM - 5/3/2006

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