Over Stressed

I do not know what has been going on lately, maybe just too many things at once, but I have barely been hanging on and keeping myself together by only a thred these past few months. I have mentioned before that I am a manic depressive so I am use to having to deal with a lot of struggles emotionaly and within in my mind but usually I can stay pretty grounded unless really emotionaly traumatic things happen but even so I have always pulled myself out of it after a couple of days, but now it is different, it is not the same hard falls and outbursts I am use to dealing with, this is something else, it is more subtle but still this ever present feeling of almost emptiness. Something that cannot be filled or quieted no matter what I try.

I have been really stressed more so then usual by school this quearter and I just feel like I cannot get on top of things at all, everything is just moving so fast, and I have been having all these doubts about myself. I think part of it might have to do with unresolved issues that I have not been able to properly deal with regaruding the falling apart of my relationship. But I really do not know what to do. I have tried everything I can think of to find my zen again, and well my best friend has not been around for these past couple months and I think not being able to speak to him is a part of it all as well.

Right now I just do not know what I am going to do. I cannot wait untill school gets out and I have some time off for summer because right now I feel like it takes everything I have to keep myself from compeltely crashing, this morning I had a really bad depression that it took every effort I had to pull myself out of. When I woke up I just did not want to get out of bed at all which is unsual for me. A part of me felt like I could just not deal with the world and I just wanted the world to stop for a moment.

I think another part of if is that I am really worried that I might flunk one of my classess which is really unsual for me but there a couple of subjects mostly being math and scicence that my mind cannot not wrap around at all no matter how hard I try to understand, and the class I am taking now deals with a lot of math concepts and I cannot get a grasp on it, the last test I really bombed on and we have another next Tuesday.

There is just too much going on right now and it has been a struggle for me to keep it all together.

8:37 PM - 5/4/2006 - post comment

i feel you

*hugs*
the dark clouds will go away... soon.

ifah - 4:27 AM - 5/5/2006

Untitled Comment

I hope you feel better.I know how you feel. I'm sure everything will get better in time. Have faith.

Blessings!

Serenity

silvermelusine - 1:57 PM - 5/5/2006

Hello,

I hope that things take a turn for the better and you have sunshine on your windows and beautiful rainbows in your sky. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Love from Dawnie :) and ((((hugs))))

DAWNIE - 2:57 AM - 5/6/2006

You don't have to be manic depressive ...

... to suffer from depression. I've felt like that too, you aren't alone. We have a tendancy to try to 'soldier on' when sometimes what we need is to stop and have a good session of wallowing in self-pity to get it out of our systems, or find a friend and get out of ourselves for a while. You WILL pick up, don't worry, and we are all rooting for you.

Ra Ra Silver!

Dabbler - 6:24 AM - 5/6/2006

Thank you

I want to thank everyone for thier surrport and understanding I really do apperciate it, and I know it is true that the sky will clear, it is just difficult right now.

SilverWind - 7:37 AM - 5/6/2006

Quote of the Week: Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted ~ Italian Proverb

ShadowEyes
The Aristos
Poem Hunter
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
StopWhaling
NRDC BioGems
IFAW
Social Values Marketplace
Blogthings
Shadow Poetry
Seafood Choices Alliance
Look At Me
Stop The Seal Hunt
Holla Back
My Deviant Art
My Cafe Press Store
Bold, Beautiful, and Big
Internet Movie Database
Responsible Traveling
Ethical Traveling
Green Weddings
Eco-Friendly Sking and Snowboarding
Keep Winter Cool
Green Resorts
The Spiders Den
The Poetry Forum
The Literature Forum
Frederick W. Cook
Good Reads
Deconstruction of Kamikaze Kurt
The Mystics Dream
Timeless Visions
Darwin Awards



Recent Entries
- Tattered Lace
- Winter Lover
- Love Like Water
- Poetry in Motion
- A Killer in My Mind




Catagory
- Articles
- Books
- Arcane
- Movies
- Music
- Philosophy
- Poetry
- Writing
- Thoughts
- Rants
- The Silvernary
- Word of the day
- Quote of the Week
- In Praise Of
- Art
- Confessional
- Garden and Animal Journal
- Roots
- Raw
- Humur
- Photography




Friends
- JournalHome
- troutdude
- DAWNIE
- kaymbl0403
- Heather
- silvermelusine
- Fightingfemale
- LandsdownLad
- dutchboy
- pykimconant
- inamorata
- Realove
- sweetlydisturbed
- imagination999
- SilverWynd
- lobond
- DarthTsynn
- YankeeInnkeeper
- StarrSilverMoon
- shokat99
- sweet2pinkash
- LadySilverMoon
- glorydreamer386
- 5489
- TheSeraphim
- enelda
- Zachtin
- visitor
- thecolumn





Visit www.hostdrjack.com




www.hostdrjack.com




Visit www.hostdrjack.com




Visit www.hostdrjack.com









Visit www.hostdrjack.com