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My feelings have been so confussed right now that I do not know what I should do, as of lately I just have not been able to get thoughts of Eric (my ex) out of my mind, I still feel such a deep love for him, and at times I truly do miss him, but I know things are over between us, and what we had will never be again, I guess it was just not meant to be. But I was so sure he was the one, I never imagined the day would come that we would acutally be parted from each other, I still cannot belive it happend, but well that is the past, what I had with him I will never have again. I suppose it is natural that I sitll share feelings for him, but I wish I could just get him out of my mind.
I have moved on with my life and Matthew is just wonderful, he is thoughtful and caring and considerate and I truly do love him, and the time I spend with him brings me joy and happiness, and I know that no matter what happend, if Eric did try to contact me again, it would not matter I know the choice I would make, though it might not be an entierely easy choice, I belive I really could be happy with Matthew and I want to try and make a life with him, and I know he will treat me better then Eric
In someways I just feel bad or guilty about still having thoughts about Eric, even though I know I will always stay faithful and loyal to Matthew and in someways it is almost as if fate used Eric as part of a stepping stone that would allow me to find Matthew, becasue if I never had that relationship with Eric, and if it had never ended the way it did at the time it did, then I might not have ever found the Pagon Personals which is what allowed me to meet Matthew.
9:07 PM - 5/18/2006 -
Conflicted Feelings
Loving yourself means forgiving yourself. Admitting to a simple point that you have lived your life the best way you know how. Stop seeing yourself as guilty, forgive your own shortcomings and automatically you begin to let others off the hook for the same things..
Anguigena - 11:11 AM - 5/26/2006
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