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| Labyrinth of the Mind |
To continue or not to continueI have this dilimma, for this writing challange on the writing forum I belong to Arcane Aristry, we were suppose to write a scene of a story in a genre opposiste what we usually write, and I have written in near every genre but Sci-fi and I never really read sci-fi, I am more of a fantasy person, so I wrote this sci-fi scene and I have friend who writes a lot of sci-fi so I had him read the scene just to see what he thoght, and he said it was pretty good, and we got into this discussion. I really liked the chars I created and wanted to just take them and put them in another story in a genre I am more comftrable with, but he thinks I should keep going with the sci-fi story. So I am going to post the sene I wrote for the challange to get some other opions on the issue, do you think I should keep going with it? Point of No Return “Don’t you ever wonder what is out there?” Jay asked Alleandra as they walked together within the gardens. It was quiet this time of the morning; most of the others were not yet awake. The path they walked along consisted of pristine white stones which floated upon the surface of the water which babbled through the gardens. The gardens were lush and green scattered with brightly colored flowers which tinged the air in a sweet fragrance. There was not a weed in sight, and they were kept trimmed to perfection. Alleandra paused a moment as if she did not hear Jay as she turned to a bright red flower and leaned forward to reach out and touch it lightly, though it reared away from her and she drew back. All of the flowers planted here were of the harmless variety but some were still a bit apprehensive she would then at last turn her attention to Jay. “It is best not to think about it. You know we cannot go out, and it is not safe, besides what could be out there that is better what we have here?” Jay would look up a moment to the blue sky seen through the glass of the dome in which they all lived. The dome had been built originally to keep them safe from the virus which had spread. Many believed that the virus was still in the air outside the dome. There was no record of anyone having tried to leave before. Everything a person could need was inside, yet somehow Jay could never be content. A part of him felt guilty about that, as if there was something wrong with him. “I don’t know” he said at first in a bit of despair about it as he began to walk forward once more though his attention was not really with the gardens now, his thoughts were wandering elsewhere. “It is not about better, just about something more, something different. I know everything is perfect here, but maybe that is the problem. I just feel there might be something more out there. Something new.” Alleandra has had this conversation with her brother before; it seemed he was always dreaming about the outside. He always seemed to be searching for something, but he never knew what it was. She tried to understand but it was difficult for her, she had always been content here, but it was always like this when they were kids. He was always the one getting into trouble and looking for adventure. It amazed her that as twins they could be so different. He worried her sometimes with all this talk. Their parents were killed in the virus, he was all she had left she did not know what she would do without him. “Sometimes I wonder if you will ever by happy, even if you did manage to get out there somehow, it would not be enough. You would just keep going, always telling yourself there is something more over that hill, or across that lake.” Jay would ponder this a moment, what if she was right? Had he ever been content where he was? If he was destined to always seek more then wasn’t just staying here as good as anything? “Maybe you are right, but I will never know if I do not try” He was left stunned by his own words, he had made the decision then in that moment without even knowing he intended to do so. “What do you mean?” Alleandra asked feeling a stirring of panic. “I am going out, I have to. I need to know.” He answered her. She stood dumbfounded though a part of her had always feared this day would come, now that it was here she was lost. She could not bare the thought of loosing him. “How are you going to do that, there is no way out.” She said in a last desperate intent. “I found a way, the water we use here, it comes from the outside, there is a special room it goes into to be treated just in case it is contaminated, but I can go out the same way the water comes in.” She should have known he would have a plan, a part of her did, but she could not help but to be hopeful. She could say nothing; she knew nothing would convince him. “I am leaving tonight.” Alleandra stepped into Jay’s room he was busy packing. His backpack was on the bed and clothes and supplies were scattered all over as he stuffed them in his bag. “I am coming with you.” He looked up as she spoke and at first just stared and her awestruck but then he would shake his head to her. “No, you cannot, you belong here, you are happy here. And besides what if it is true what they say about the virus?” She swallowed a bit as he said this, though it had been in the back of her mind. She was unsure about all of this and she did not really want to leave, but how could she live parted from him? She had to go. “You think that might be true, but if it is that means….” She could not finish the rest of the sentence. “Yes I know,” he said a bit mournfully, as much as he needed to do this, he did not want to leave her, but for her own safety he thought it best she not come with him. He stepped to her and placed a hand upon her shoulder. “I won’t forget you, and I will try to comeback.” A part of him did not believe that last part, but he thought she needed it. “You won’t have to,” she said with a determination surprising even her. “I already made up my mind, I am coming with you, I already packed. I can’t let you go out there alone, what if something should happen and no one is there to help you?” Jay knew that she could be stubborn but he never had seen her quite like this before, and he did not know what to say. A selfish part of him wanted to just say yes, but another part of him told him he should discourage her for her own good, and prevent her from coming, but he had to admit she was not a child anymore then he was, and she was capable of making her own decisions and she would hate him if he did that to her, and as much as he had to leave, a part of him knew he needed her. “Alright, you can come.” Though he gave in a bit begrudgingly he was aware of a small spark of joy that he would not be alone. Alleandra was not sure what to feel, she was scared, though she knew even if he had stood up to her she would not let him talk her out of going. A part of her was relived that he had given in so quickly so she would not have to fight him. A part of her feared that she might have weakened if he was too resistant, but she knew it would never be the same here if he was gone, not for her. They stood just before the glass doors which looked into the room that the water was purified in when it entered into the dome. Along the walls of the room there were air purifiers to cleanse the any air which might come in from the outside through the same cannel which allowed the water in, to prevent any possible remaining virus from getting into the dome and causing total annihilation of the last remaining people, or such was what they assumed not knowing of any other survivors. “How are we going to get in?” Alleandra asked, trying to hide the faintest hope that perhaps this would be it, the thing that foiled their plants, but her heart sunk just a little bit as Jay began to rummage through his pack before pulling out the pass key. “With this,” he said grinning and walked over to slide the key through the slot and waited for it to scan before the doors opened and a voice spoke. “Welcome Rolland” Alleandra watched in dismay as she followed close behind so she did not get shut out. “How did you get that?” A part of her was not sure she wanted to know. He slipped the card away once they were inside and the door slid closed behind him and he gave a mischievous glance to his sister. “I found it one day when I was out walking, I figured someone had dropped it, I meant to give it back but then I forgot about it, or some part of me told myself I should hold onto it though I did not understand why.” He gave shrug and began to walk toward where the water gained entrance. There was a cannel which flowed through the room and emptied out in a large vat where it was then treated and pumped throughout the dome. He followed the cannel to the far wall the only way out would be to get into the water and swim out through it. “This water has not been treated yet.” Alleandra said with a bit of uncertainty as she could see what Jay was thinking. He looked to her and nodded not seeming as concerned as she was. “I know, but if the disease is still in the air then I guess it won’t matter what is in the water right? And well if it is not true. If the virus died out there then the water should be fine shouldn’t it?” Alleandra nodded her head as she supposed it made sense enough though she was not at all certain about this, and she did not like to see Jay’s hesitancy, could it be that underneath deep inside he was just as afraid as her of what they might find? She knew even if he was his mind was made up now and he would not turn back, and she was determined to stay with him, so as he began to ease into the waters she followed in right after him. He looked up to her a moment and then nodded his head as if in signal and dove down to swim under the gates which bared across the archway that led to the outside. She supposed the gates were there to keep anything that might be out there from coming in. That thought made her shudder, she did not like to think what might be out there, but she gave one last look around thinking briefly she still had a chance to turn back now if she wanted but she knew she couldn’t so she dove down and swam just behind Jay. It was a little while when they surfaced again and neither one of them could quite believe what they were seeing. It was like a jungle outside full of thick green vegetation. They could not even see the sky the canopy was so thick and kept everything cast in a cool shade. Jay began to swim for the shore and climbed out of the water taking in a deep breath as if to test the air he then reached down to take Alleandra’s hand and helped her out of the water along beside him. “Well everything seems fine.” With all this life around them Alleandra did find it hard to believe that the virus could still be thriving, she half expected they would step out into some open barren land. “Yes, but we won’t really know if we have the virus for a few days.” Jay looked to her and gave a shake of his head. “Always the cheerful one” He began to make his way through the jungle, it was not easy going as he had to forge his own pathway through all the thick greenery. Alleandra followed just behind him, though she did not know why he was in such a hurry, it is not as if he knew where he was going. She hung back a bit though did not let him get out of sight, as she was so fascinated with everything. She wanted a chance to study some of the plants. She moved to take another step forward when she felt a tug backward and something tightened around her ankle she looked down and saw the thick green vine circled around her ankle and she gave a scream as she looked around when her eyes fell upon a flower that was larger then her, and that she was certain she did not see there before. She felt it trying to drag her back as she struggled to pull away and shake it off. Jay heard the scream and froze spinning around he saw his sister in trouble and sprinted back to her, as he ran to reach her he dug through his pack and pulled out a black baton looking device, he pointed it at the vine which held Alleandra and pushed the button along the side. A bolt of electricity shot out and severed the fine freeing Alleandra. The plant seemed to shriek as its broken limb flopped about upon the ground before the flower seemed to pull back and retreat into the woods. Jay helped his sister up to her feet and tucked the device in his back pocket. “Are you alright?” She pressed close to him a bit shaky at first from the whole experience. “Yes I think so.” As they began to walk again she was sure this time not to fall behind and stayed close to his side. They would walk now with greater care watching the things around them suspiciously for any unusual movement. They would walk along together for sometime without further incident it would seem when Jay came to halt all of the sudden and gave a glance to Alleandra. “Did you hear that?” She felt a leap of fear in his words as her eyes scanned, though at first she saw nothing movement then came to her gaze through the trees. She could not make out what it was. She grabbed Jay’s arm and tugged in the direction as she pointed. “There I saw something.” By the time he turned around it was gone. They stood puzzled a moment but then began to walk once more when all of the sudden a figure leapt out of the trees at them. Alleandra’s first thought was that it was a man, but there was something not quite right about it. It was wild and moved almost like an animal. What could it be? Jay reached back and removed the baton and was about to point and fire when it was knocked out of his hand into the brush out of sight, before he had chance to think or react after that Alleandra screamed as another of the man-beast creatures grabbed her by the shoulders and as soon as Jay turned his head to look the one before him grabbed hold of him and began to drag them through the trees as much as they fought and struggled it was no use. They were brought into what appeared to be a small colony of the strange creatures. They did look like people. Alleandra thought, only they were hairier, and though they walked on two legs they stayed hunched over slightly. She huddled close to Jay as they found themselves encircled by the beasts. When one of them drew close to them it spoke in a rasp. “You are from the inside.” Jay’s heart froze, and he reached protectively for his sister. They knew about the dome, but what did they want? What did he get them into, how could he do this to Alleandra. He did not know what to say as he felt Alleandra tremble close to him. There was no where they could run. 11:11 AM - 6/26/2006 - post comment
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