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| Labyrinth of the Mind |
Bellspring Psychiatric WardJust something I was inspired to do. I might add on to it and turn it into an on going story done it parts like this or I might leave it as is. Don't know yet.
Bellspring Psychiatric Ward
Room 207
Last Letters of Jacob Fields
You may not believe me but I tell you it is true, every word of it. Think what you will, it does not matter, do you think your doubts could touch me now? I did love her you know. I really did, more then I could love anyone. More then I have loved anyone. So you might ask then why did she have to die? Well that was a matter of circumstance. Sometimes these things cannot be helped. I did not want it to happen, I did not mean for it to happen, but here we are.
You want to know why? Well I don't know if I can tell you that. I don't know if I know why. I remember after it had happened. Her body now cold and empty lay still before me. I was devastated, even after I scrubbed the blood off my hands I still saw it there, a permanent stain. Why did I do it? If I knew then it would not have happened. I was not angry with her, I had no reason to be. We did not even have a fight. In fact we were lying together perfectly happy in bed, and then....well that is when I saw it. What you might ask? I don't know, but it was something inside of her. It was not her. Not at that moment, but something vile. I remember I screamed as it looked at me with those horrid eyes. I thought I was having a nightmare, and maybe I was, only it is not ending. I still see it when I close my eyes. I only wanted to save her from it. I tried to dig it out, but well we know how that went don't we? Of course after it was too late, it was gone, and she lay there at my feet in a pool of blood. I tried to explain but no one would believe me. They thought I was mad but I am not. It was there I know it was. I am not a bad man, I never hurt a fly in my life. I have never been prone to violence, or to hallucinations. I never took any pills, not for depression, or schizophrenia, or any of that nonsense. And as far as I know it never ran in the family. My parents did not abuse me, I don't have deep scars. I had a job, I functioned in society, I never was written up by my boss and never had any complaints against my for inappropriate behavior. And I didn't smoke, take drugs, or even drink. Not that I mean to tell you I was a saint. Who is? But I tell you I was normal. Isn't that what we all strive to be? There is nothing extraordinary or interesting about me. You read a bout this sort of thing in the papers all the time, and it fascinates us because it seems so unnatural. Men killing their wives, wives killing their husbands and even their children, and everyone wants a reason why? They want it from me now. They look at me with accusing eyes as if I offend the very core of their being, they think it could never happen to them, that they are somehow better then me. But I was them once. I was not special, I got good grades in school. I did not torture small animals. No, and I loved her, we were happy together, I still mourn her. I never would have hurt a hair on her head. But you see, what choice did I have? What was I suppose to do? Just turn away and let that thing have her? Watch it twist her features and stare at me with those eyes? Those bone chilling eyes? No, I had to do something to bring her back. I never thought it would end like that. I cannot take this any more. I just hope when you read this you will understand I am not a mad man. I will end my misery because I still see the blood on my hands, and I still see it there beside me when I close my eyes, it followed me to this place you see. There is only one way to be rid of it. Then maybe I can be with her again. Oh I know they think I will go to hell for what I have done, but how can I? I am an innocent, I didn't hurt her...it was that thing.....I am free of guilt. Yours in Sincerity Jacob Fields 9:09 PM - 7/19/2006 - post comment
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