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| Labyrinth of the Mind |
Late night ramblingI know I do not very often get really personal in my blog, most of it is just my opinions about a varity of things, and my writings and so forth you all know the drill. That is becasue I am truly a very private person, and as mentioned more then once here a misanthrope, so usually only those whom I am partiucarly close to do I share really personal information with, but every now and then when the mood should take me I will open a window and offer a glimpse.
As I have also mentioned before a couple of times I do struggle with a sort of manic depression and it is usually when I am in such a state that I am most given to speak more openly, usually becasue I find just the process of writing itself theraputic. Things have just really been hard on me latley, Matthew has been tremendously busy at work and even had to work during his usual days off, he starts early and comes home late so that I scarecly had the oppertunity to speak with him for the past week and that has really been difficult on me. I really just need some time to speak with him. And right now I wish I could talk to him, but he is sleeping which is some much needed sleep that I know he needs.
I also feel kind of bad becasue I have a stigma about the phone, I am in fact phobic of it. I can use it if I really have to or prepare myself too but it makes me very anxious to do so, and when I am on the phone sometimes I get sort of stage fright where I just can't make myself speak, and though I love talking to Matthew on the phone, and he is about the only one whom I will speak with on the phone, usually the conversations are short and some days he does most the talking becasue I just don't feel comftrable with the phone. Sometimes I feel kind of guitly becasue like today I really did want to speak with him but I was sort of put off and so I was really rattled on the phone and so we did not really talk that much, mostly he talked, and he knows how I am with the phone and he is very patient and understanding about it but I wish sometimes that I could get over it.
It has also been insanely hot today, and well in the words of my new expression. It has been hotter then the loins of Satan. 11:39 PM - 7/21/2006 - post comment
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 Quote of the Week: Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted ~ Italian Proverb
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